


Sweet Blasphemy

by blowmeharry



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 03:57:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 67,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blowmeharry/pseuds/blowmeharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fic and I wrote it a few months back, so it's not as great as my newer works, in my opinion. So be nice?

Laying down on top of a grassy hill and staring at the stars above, thinking of how wonderful an ice cream sundae would treat him at that moment, wasn’t, to say the least, particularly one of Harry Styles’ best ideas. Considering it was past curfew and he was trespassing. He didn’t worry though. Of course, considering his frequent visits, why would he worry in the slightest?

The night was incredibly quiet, in fact, so quiet he could almost hear the rising and falling of his chest as the cool air filled his lungs. It was times like these that he loved being outside, away from the busy city life. Though he was thankful to be living in better conditions than the majority of the country, that didn’t mean things were perfect for him. The heap of the city life, the bright lights and loud noises didn’t exactly set well with Harry. He preferred living a more quiet life, a life of solitude. It wasn’t that he was antisocial or didn’t have friends or anything. He simply liked spending time alone. Although, when Harry took time to think about it, he really didn’t have that many friends, but it was more because it was his choice.

Most of the time he felt like the only normal person here, the only one that hadn’t been sucked into the “high-fashion” the Capitol had to offer. He didn’t mind it too much, the trend had been going on for years. He just didn’t particularly feel comfortable with the excessive and unnecessary amounts of makeup. Needless to say, Harry wasn’t the only one who felt out of place. It was a city, after all. And even though it seemed the world was broken around them, it was still a complex place, with complex opinions.

A cool breeze rolled in and Harry felt goosebumps covering his arms. Nothing could beat the fresh air, that was rare to find down in the city, where the air was filled with different smells, from cigarettes to gasoline to processed foods. It wasn’t the same as what Harry loved to experience. There was nothing like it.

He allowed himself to drown in his thoughts which began from the simplest of ideas like what he would do the next day, then varied into topics dealing with the reason for his existence. Harry loved thinking about the big picture of everything, and though this world didn’t have much to offer, he believed there was still something out there worth waiting for. When he felt he had done enough thinking, he decided to head back. Over-thinking was hardly a good thing.

Harry entered his house quietly, his feet moving slowly as he made his way into the kitchen to grab a quick snack. He took a package of Chex-mix and began to head to his room, careful not to wake anyone up. The last thing he wanted was someone lecturing him for being out so late.

When he began eating, he couldn’t stop himself from moaning at the taste, trying to savor every bit. Harry was well aware that the districts didn’t have it as great as he did, some not even remotely close. Of course, nothing was perfect, Harry’s been starved a bit here and there, but it wasn’t really a big deal.

A loud bang on his door caused him to jump, nearly dropping his food. His eyes averted to the doorway where his sister Gemma stood, a worried expression on her face.

“You were out again, weren’t you?”

Harry didn’t respond, figuring Gemma already knew the answer.

She sighed in disappointment. “You’re going to be caught one day.”

Anger began to build up in Harry, but with a mix of slight paranoia upon her words. “Go away, Gemma.”

“I’m just trying to help, Harry.” She looked at him, her expression growing softer. Gemma definitely looked more scared than upset now. She began to walk back out into the hallway, stifling a yawn which indicated she was utterly exhausted. “Try and get some sleep, tomorrow is the reaping.”

Harry couldn’t stop himself from groaning. Every single year, two tributes were selected from every district to come to Capital and train to fight to the death in the Hunger Games. Harry didn’t agree with the idea, as most people didn’t, and frankly he was just glad to be fortunate enough to be living in the Capitol. It wasn’t only the idea itself, but also the fact that the deaths were broadcasted live that disturbed him greatly. He understood why the Hunger Games had to happen; it was sadly the only thing keeping the country together. He just couldn’t put a finger on why there couldn’t be an alternative, but he supposed there was nothing he could do about it.

Harry was woken up the next morning with screaming in his ears. He shook himself awake, unaware of what was happening, then turned to his left to see his best friend smiling giddily at him, looking absolutely ridiculous.

Harry rubbed his eyes, getting a better look at him. “Liam, what the fuck are you wearing?”

“Today’s the reaping, man. We should at least try to fit in,” Liam spoke, running a hand through his brown locks, which now had dark, obnoxious, blue streaks in it. That was nothing compared to the makeup though. His eyes were covered with what appeared to be purple eyeliner, and pink mascara. His outfit was what made Harry cringe the most. It wasn’t like he was wearing a dress or anything, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t incredibly odd. To say the least, he looked like he was going to a Star Trek convention, which made Harry laugh since Star Trek was over a hundred years ago when people assumed that’s what the future would look like. However, that would be an understatement to Liam’s outfit. He wanted to say Liam was dressed like a girl, but that would be offensive to girls. Liam honestly looked like a clown.

“I can’t believe this is actually fashionable. People were better off last century,” Harry commented, still bewildered at the sight of Liam. “I can’t believe you’re even wearing that.”

“Come on, Harry! I even got you something,” Liam pulled out a black bag, excitement showing through his makeup, and yanked out an outfit that looked oddly similar to Liam’s, just in a different scheme.

Harry immediately burst into hysterics. “You’ve got to be kidding me! There is no way in hell I am ever wearing that.” Liam looked at him with pleading eyes. “Ever.”

“Harry…”

Two hours later, Liam and Harry were heading down to the Capitol’s center, wearing matching outfits and acting as if the reaping was nothing. Perhaps it would’ve meant more if they actually had a chance at being chosen, but they didn’t have to worry about it at all. Thank goodness for that.

“I can’t believe you dressed me,” Harry muttered, rubbing his eyes, careful not to let the makeup smear, though he really didn’t care. Liam had dressed him. Literally. When Harry had refused, Liam had thrown him on the bed, removed his clothing, and forced him into the prickly clothing. With Harry’s screaming and cursing, they were both surprised that nobody came to see what the commotion was all about.

Liam slapped Harry on the back as they started to approach the center, people beginning to surround them. “That’s what friends are for.”

There were all kinds of people, all dressed in unusual fashions. Strangely enough, Liam and Harry did fit in. Harry didn’t want to admit it to Liam, but he did feel thankful that he didn’t stand out or anything. The last thing he wanted was to draw too much attention to himself.

The parade hadn’t begun yet; it usually didn’t begin until after the tributes were announced. Everybody was talking and laughing, excited and waiting impatiently for the assembly to begin.

Harry looked to his right and saw a middle-aged couple making comments about the day. He hadn’t particularly been paying attention until he thought he heard one of them say, “…yeah, I hear this year they’re going to pick tributes from the Capitol. Strange, huh?”

Harry frowned, a bit curious as to how they had arrived at that assumption, but not curious enough to ask. He shrugged it off, labeling them as crazy as he began to push his way forward to get to the front. Liam followed behind him. He had grabbed Harry’s shoulder in an attempt to get his attention. Right when Harry had acknowledged his touch, he heard the loud shriek of a microphone, followed by cheering.

President Snow made his way up the stage, tapping the microphone twice attempting to calm down the audience. “Good afternoon and welcome to the 75th annual Hunger Games reaping,” he began to speak, smiling slightly as he proceeded. “As done every year, a presentation will be shown shortly of the reaping in all twelve districts. Please no flash photography.”

Harry watched President Snow leave the stage as the space behind him was now filled with light and the video was about to begin. He could see the supervisor Effie Trinket reading the names of the tribute aloud for District 12.

Harry wasn’t particularly listening until he heard a female voice shout, nearly making the entire audience jump. “I volunteer!” He watched closely and noticed that she was volunteering as tribute to go in place of her sister. That was really a brave thing to do, Harry thought, suddenly feeling sympathy for the girl.

For District 11, two boys that went by the names of Zayn and Niall were chosen as tributes and Harry began to question how two boys had made it, assuming that there was supposed to be one boy and one girl from each district. He supposed the rules had changed this year. They both truly looked scared. Harry felt for them, but thankful he wasn’t in their place.

It was back to both genders for District 10, Eleanor and Aiden. Surprisingly, they had both taken it well and had made their way to the stage flawlessly.

After that, Harry was getting quite exhausted having to watch the same thing happen over and over again and he didn’t really pay attention until District 7, when the girl’s name was called. “Danielle Peazer.” She looked unbelievably sad, but she also had confidence, Harry could see that. Effie called the next name, still managing to smile after all this time. How she did it, Harry did not know. “Louis Tomlinson.”

Harry caught sight of a boy who looked like he had been crying after his name had been called, and he was heading up the stage, making his sadness very, very obvious. His hair fell into his face, probably as a way of hiding his facial expression, but Harry could see right through him. Harry kept his eyes on him as Louis stood on the stage, still looking as if he was going to give in to tears. But he didn’t. When he disappeared into the back, Harry felt something tug in his stomach, and he truly felt bad for the kid.

The video continued going through the districts, but Harry found it hard to pay attention. His mind kept going back to Louis and how brave he had acted even though he probably felt absolutely horrid inside. He wished he could be like that. Harry was impulsive about everything. If he felt a certain way about something, he would act on it most of the time. But he could never hide something for too long, especially not when it involved his emotions.

President Snow had stepped up to the microphone again, clearing his throat as he began to speak. “I would like to make an announcement.” He paused as all eyes fell on him. “As you observed, there have been some changes this year with the Games, and there are reasons for that, most of them being a significant factor to keeping our nation’s stability.” Silence fell throughout the audience. It was so quiet and awkward and wasn’t particularly the kind of quietness Harry enjoyed. “Furthermore, as an addition to the Hunger Games, there will be two tributes here from the Capitol that will be chosen to participate.”

The tug in Harry’s stomach had returned, and an uneasy feeling washed over him. President Snow couldn’t be serious. Surely he was joking. Harry expected him any minute now to burst out laughing and tell everyone to continue on with their days, but after several seconds of awkward silence, he knew this was really happening.

Harry continued to stare at President Snow, waiting for him to say something. To do something. But nothing happened until a few moments later when the glass ball was brought to the stage, and Snow was pulling a name out. “Liam Payne.”

It felt as if Harry’s world had gone into a blur, because Harry couldn’t remember the next five minutes. He remembered Liam saying goodbye to him as he walked away from him and towards Snow. Harry remembered begging him not to go, not even bothering to stay strong like Louis had. Then everything went black.

Harry opened his eyes slowly, everything blurring together. When his vision fully returned, he looked up to see his mum’s face peering at him, her hand on his cheek.

“Where…” Harry began to question, sitting up and inspecting the area. It almost looked like the inside of a mansion. Expensive furniture with lots of food everywhere. It wasn’t until he looked out the window that he realised he was on a train.

He turned back around and saw Liam sitting across the room from him, with a panicked expression on his face.

“Liam…?” What was he doing here? His eyes went back to his mum. “Where am I?”

Harry looked closer at his mum’s face and it took him a moment to realise that she had been crying. She stiffened and cleared her throat, pulling Harry into a hug. “You were chosen,” she managed to choke out, and then all of a sudden, a big man came up from behind her and gestured her to leave. “I have to go. I love you.” She kissed Harry’s forehead for a matter of seconds. “Good luck.” Then she left without giving Harry a chance to find the words to say goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Harry looked outside the window, taking in the view of the world outside him, since this would most likely be the last time he’d see it. His eyes were glued to his mom and sister who were holding onto each other, looking absolutely frightened, their expression was a powerful one Harry had never seen on them before. He continued to stare out the window, afraid to move his eyes, knowing he would burst into tears the moment he did.

He watched as they passed the large industrial buildings and now there wasn’t much to see but flat grasslands. He pulled himself away from the window, then immediately thought of everything he’d left behind. At least I still have Liam, Harry assured himself. But the moment his eyes found Liam, he came to the realisation that he was going to have to kill his best friend. Harry let a few tears escape his eyes as he tried desperately to avoid that thought.

It wasn’t until he looked at Liam a second time that he remembered Liam was still wearing his costume, as was Harry himself. By the looks of the makeup still looking fresh on his face, he didn’t look like he had been crying or anything, which wasn’t odd for Liam. Liam was always the one who kept calm in a terrible situation and hardly let anything fazed him. But that only made Harry further wonder how he could do such a thing, especially in a time like this.

At that moment, Harry finally let himself cry. The only thing keeping him from completely falling apart and sobbing uncontrollably was the pride he had in hiding his tears from the world, and there was also the fact that he didn’t want his makeup to smear, which he really wanted to wipe off already.

Harry heard a loud chuckle exploding from Liam, which had him startled and giving Liam a hard look for acting so out of the situation.

“You know,” Liam started to say after he had calmed himself a bit. “What are the odds that the picked us both? It’s almost like they planned this! ’May the odds be ever in your favour!”” He continued to laugh out of place, then tears began to stream down his face. Tears of sadness disguised as happiness, Harry was sure. “Well the odds were surely in our favour, weren’t they, Harry?”

Harry sighed, knowing exactly what Liam was doing. He always did this. Liam handled every situation with humor, whether it be light or dry humor, and Harry wasn’t sure that was even considered healthy.

“Stop that,” Harry finally told him with absolute seriousness, then began to think about what Liam had said. “You’re right though. What are the odds that you and I were picked, out of everyone in that audience.”

“I guess it was fate,” Liam said and they both mentally agreed that that wasn’t a good thing. Fate was a bitch. Liam had completely stopped laughing at this point. He wasn’t even smiling. He turned his head at Harry with a curious look in his brown eyes. “What I’m really wondering is what the hell we’re doing in a train. Doesn’t the training usually take place at the Capitol?”

“Good question…” Harry gave it some thought. The training always took place at the Capitol, but why had it changed now? Certainly it must have had something to do with the other changes that were going on. “Maybe they don’t want us in our own district. To make it fair to the others too, you know?”

“But that still doesn’t make sense… If not the Capitol, then where are we going?”

Liam’s question was answered about twenty minutes later, when the announcement aired, informing them that they had arrived, wherever they were. Harry pushed himself out of the bench he had been laying on. It had been very uncomfortable, but it was mostly because it was a bench and what he was wearing wasn’t exactly the most comfortable attire to sleep in, or do anything in, for that matter.

Harry tried to get a view of the place but Liam had already pulled him away from the window, clinging onto him, almost as if he were scared. When they exited the train, Harry was making his way down the last step but when his eyes caught sight of the scene in front of him, that’s when he fell. Quickly straightening himself, he followed Liam and the others as they headed away from the train.

The sight in front of him was incredible. It wasn’t big and industrial like the Capitol, but at the same time, it didn’t look anything close to cheap. The mountains were what caught Harry’s attention by far. Though they were hidden by clouds since they were so far away, they were still very visible to him, and before he knew it a grin had surpassed him. His excitement was ravishing, how could he resist? He had never seen anything quite like it before. He couldn’t stop himself from inspecting the entire atmosphere. Deciduous trees surrounded them, scattered where they were standing, and continued to where the mountains began, growing closer and closer until they looked to be a forest. His eyes went to the sky, realizing it was a light blue, free of clouds, and the warm temperature made him feel a little safer about the situation, as odd as that sounded.

Besides the wonderful atmosphere that was starting to cheer Harry up a bit, there were still a few buildings here and there, but he considered them more as cottages than anything, really. Regardless, they did look incredible, even though they did take away from the natural world.

“Think of this place as a pre-Hunger Games,” Harry heard Effie’s voice from behind them, as he turned around to see the tributes from District 12 heading their way. He tried to recall their names… Katniss and Peeta? Those were some odd names.

Harry continued to look around at the other tributes, and then stopped for a minute to think about why Liam and him didn’t have a mentor. Were there no previous winners to step in? Surely that had to be the reason since they were picked at the last minute. Still, it didn’t really seem fair that Harry and Liam wouldn’t have anyone help them when being chosen was clearly not their choice. Harry smirked at his play of words in his head as he continued to follow the tributes down the path.

He was drifting off in his thoughts again, thinking about Gemma and his mother, the dreadful realisation that he might never see them again tearing him apart inside. Harry was strong, he wasn’t afraid to admit that. Emotionally and physically. When he was younger, he was trained to fight, but it was for reasons different than the usual. While other districts trained for the Hunger Games, Harry trained simply because it made him feel more independent. Growing up he had much faith in the world and failed to see how miserable everything was. Eventually Harry gave up believing that anything would improve. He figured things would only get worse and he might as well prepare himself for the worst. He convinced his mother to let him head down to the local gym, where he began with the simplest exercises which consisted of lifting weights and doing other activities to help build muscle. It wasn’t until later that he began the more advanced activities such as archery and fighting techniques, which would help prior to the Hunger Games, even though he knew he’d never have to be in it.

Harry almost wanted to laugh. Liam’s words came back to him. Even though he never thought he’d have to suffer through the same matters as all the other districts, what were the odds that Harry’s luck would fail him? Obviously Harry wasn’t at the highest point in his life.

His thoughts came to an abrupt stop when a body had bumped into him, causing them both to plunge towards the ground.

“Fuck,” Harry swore, pulling himself off the ground, trying to ease the sharp pain he suddenly felt in his side. Furious, his eyes searched for the idiot who had pushed him down, but when he looked down he saw Louis standing up from the ground.

“Sorry, mate,” Louis said with apologetic eyes, in a rather high, but soft voice. Unlike earlier that day, he didn’t look like he was crying. His face looked calmer, but his bright, blue eyes were still filled with sadness. In fact, Harry couldn’t remember having ever seen eyes as blue as his.

Harry stood frozen, his anger had now completely dissolved. “It’s fine,” he responded, his voice a little shaky. He expected the boy to turn around and continue walking on his own, but Louis was eyeing Harry carefully as the two of them began following the trail again. Harry, feeling a bit uncomfortable at Louis’ staring, finally decided to speak. “What?”

“You’re from the Capitol, aren’t you?”

Harry frowned. “How did you know?”

“Well…” Louis continued to look up and down Harry’s body, almost making it look like he was checking him out. Harry pushed that thought out of his head. “It’s a bit obvious.”

Harry was filled with relief one second but then his face flamed up in embarrassment, forgetting how ridiculous he looked. Damn Liam… “In my defense, I wasn’t responsible for dressing myself today.”

Louis nodded in understanding. “Don’t worry, I totally get it. My mum dressed me today too.”

“Your mum dressed you?” Harry said in surprise with widened eyes, but when Louis looked back at him with a miserable expression, Harry regretted he ever said anything. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“No worries,” Louis shrugged it off, a sly smile plastering his face. He ran a hand through his light brown hair then averted his attention to the ground. “It’s just, I miss her, you know? And my sisters…”

“You have sisters?” Harry questioned, but it came out sounding more like a statement.

“Yes, five.”

“No brothers?”

“Nope,” Louis confirmed. “I’m the only man in the house.”

“Same.” Harry could understand Louis’ behavior earlier that day. If he was put in the same position, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to stay calm about it. Having to say goodbye to five sisters and his mum wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Harry almost wanted to assure this stranger that he would win the Games and be able to go back to his family, but there was no way to tell for sure, and there was still that gut-wrenching feeling Harry had that told him to win for sure, and avoid giving a rat’s arse about anyone but himself. Regardless, Harry wasn’t selfish. He looked back up at Louis and forced himself to smile. “Good luck.”

“You too,” Louis responded, continuing to look down as he walked, surprisingly walking fine effortlessly. “I never caught your name.”

“Harry,” Harry responded, then pulled a total James Bond. “Harry Styles.”

Louis’ eyes found Harry’s and he grinned crookedly, showing perfect white teeth beneath his lips. “Nice to meet you, Harry. I’m Louis.” Then he began to make gestures with his hand, preparing himself for what he was about to say next. “And may the odds be ever in your favour!”

Harry burst into hysterics unintentionally laughing harder than he’d meant to. It wasn’t just the words themselves, but the way Louis had portrayed them was just incredible and hilarious enough to make Harry laugh for the first time that day. It wasn’t until Louis was laughing with him that he realised how inappropriate this was. Laughing in the middle of a devastating situation. Harry was becoming more like Liam every day. Now that he thought of it, where was Liam? His eyes searched the area around him but he couldn’t spot him anywhere. Harry assumed he must have gone ahead without him when he had tripped and fallen behind with Louis.

“…I don’t think you even need training. I’m sure the Irish accent will do all the work for you.” Harry heard a voice from behind him and immediately turned around to see two boys talking and laughing, almost imitating how Harry and Louis had been acting a minute ago. Harry could remember their faces from the television screen, but he couldn’t put names on them. 

“Do I sense jealousy, Zayn?” the boy with the strikingly blonde hair replied, surprisingly having a very noticeable Irish accent. The other boy, Zayn, was continuing to taunt him, looking very much the opposite of him. Unlike the blonde, his skin was darker as well as his hair. And he surely wasn’t Irish. 

“Totally, Niall.” Zayn looked away from Niall then averted his eyes to me and then Louis, a smile appearing on his face. “Lou-Lou!” 

They knew each other?

“Zayn! It’s good to see you again,” Louis responded, smiling brightly at him. Wait, he was smiling? Harry was having the most difficult time trying to understand how anyone could smile at a time like this. He wasn’t sure if it was a brave or obnoxious, but the way Harry kept glancing down at Louis’ lips as if he wanted to smile with him, he knew Louis was far from obnoxious. “This is Harry.” Harry focused his attention on Niall and Zayn as he forced a smile and greeted them.

“You live in the Capitol?” Niall said immediately, a look of surprise shooting his face. “You’re so lucky.”

Harry shrugged, then looked back down on his outfit, suddenly embarrassed that so many people had seen him wearing this. It was funny how earlier in the day he had dressed to fit in and now it was doing the opposite effect. He took a moment to compare his outfit to the others. The three boys were all wearing flannel shirts that were boring shades of colors, and simple khaki pants. “I do apologise for…” Harry gestured to his clothing. “I don’t normally look like this.”

“No, no! Let us apologise,” Zayn chimed in. “We hardly see anyone dressed so…” He then trailed off, unsure how to continue.

“Ridiculous?” Harry finished for him.

“Different.”

Niall turned his head to its side and looked at Harry, curiously. “How did you even get into the Hunger Games? I mean, I don’t exactly know what’s going on, us being here and all instead of the Capitol, but what’s with the sudden change of rules?”

“The nation’s crumbling down again?” Louis guessed, his voice raising a higher pitch on the last word. Then he shrugged, running both hands through his hair in an obsessive fashion. “I have no idea what we’re planning to do here, but it sure as hell can’t be as bad as the actual thing.”

It turned out Louis was right. Later that day, when everybody had settled into their cabins, which were separated by district, announcements were made explaining what was going to happen. Every morning for the next two weeks, tributes were to be awake by seven in the morning for a light breakfast, followed by early morning training which continued into late afternoon. Then lunch would arrive and the evening would be spent doing individual training, followed by dinner, then off to bed. Easy as that.

Despite how incredibly comfortable Harry felt laying on his mattress - actually comfortable was an understatement- Harry still couldn’t get himself to sleep. His face burned from spending twenty minutes in the bathroom cleaning the excessive amounts of makeup from his face and his legs ached from the hike out here. But even in his desperate attempt to try to fall asleep, his thoughts just wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Liam, you still up?” Harry finally spoke, a bit startled as to how loud his voice was in their cabin. He heard the sounds of sheets being moved and saw Liam rolling around to face him. Suddenly Harry felt bad for waking him up. “I’m sorry, were you asleep?”

“I can’t sleep,” Liam admitted, sounding almost childlike. “I’m so fucking scared, Harry.” The fear in his voice made Harry want to cry, seeing his friend this way was horrible.

“Me too, Li.” Harry wanted to assure him that everything would be okay, that they would go home and see their families and everything would return back to normal, but Harry knew in the right of mind that they would be lucky if one of them made it alive. So he simply avoided showing any sympathy towards Liam and forced his eyes to stay closed until he drifted to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

“Bullseye,” Louis said with confidence, his face lighting up as his bow struck the dartboard perfectly at the center. He was still beaming with accomplishment when he backed up from where he was standing, then turned around to see Harry giving him a thumb’s up.

Harry ran a hand through his curls and smiled eagerly at the other boy. “Took you long enough.”

“Not all of us came prepared,” Louis spoke in defense, his voice sounded slightly sassy, Harry wanted to laugh. “Speaking of which, why did you train beforehand even though you knew you’d never have to,” he paused then grinned bashfully, “but-well, you know what I mean.”

Harry shrugged as he bent over to retrieve his bow off the ground and took an arrow from Louis’ hand while he was at it. “I guess everybody has their hobbies.” He aimed, then released his grip, his arrow hitting right above where Louis’ had struck. “So close.”

Louis put his head on Harry’s shoulder causing him to flinch, but he couldn’t find the nerve to push Louis away. “I know it’s difficult to talk about, but…” he began, biting down his bottom lip, practically begging for Harry’s attention, and looked up at the sky, the sun about to set. The entire the tributes had spent training but for the independent training, the two boys had somehow ended up working together. “I’ve told you a bit about my family, why don’t you tell me about yours?”

“Uh… well…” Harry struggled to think of what to say, the subject making him feel complete uneasiness, but he didn’t let that show. “I live with my mum and my sister,” he began then decided it would be a good idea to clarify. “My dad doesn’t live with us.”

“My parents are divorced too,” Louis pointed out another similarity between them and suddenly Harry felt something tug at his stomach. He was a bit impressed that Louis and him shared that in common, but at the same time felt pity for the boy. Most importantly, his stomach was doing flips reminding him of the absolute horrible truth, knowing that despite the friendship or whatever they were starting to develop, he was still going to have to kill Louis.

Putting his focus back on Louis again, Harry found it a bit unusual that Louis was staring at him, his expression being just an odd. If Harry didn’t know any better, he swore Louis was checking him out, though the look on his face was completely innocent. And yet, Harry couldn’t help but stare back. A moment later though, Harry forced himself to pull his eyes away from Louis and found the nerve to say something. “We should probably get back soon, dinner’s probably ready.” Harry’s face was now flushing with embarrassment and slight confusion as to the complexity of his emotions.

On the outside of the dining hall, it looked like a simple twenty-first century built cottage, but the inside unexpectedly was far from that. The inside looked like a glimpse of the Capitol, white walls, clear and pristine in accordance to the white glossy tiles. This may have fascinated others, but Harry wasn’t too impressed since he had the advantage of seeing it every day.

“There you are, Harry!” Liam threw Harry into a hug from behind, and Harry grunted with slight irritation.

“One day, I swear, you’re going to give me a bloody heart attack.”

Liam left his arm on Harry’s shoulder and scoffed when his eyes finally met with Louis’. “And who’s this handsome bloke?”

Harry’s face was dropping to a smirk at Liam’s words as Louis shouted in the giddiest, and most flamboyant voice Harry had ever heard, “I’m Lou-eh!” Harry couldn’t stop himself from grinning smugly, amused at Louis’ random burst of energy.

Liam’s lips formed a smile and he cupped his hand around Harry’s ear and whispered, “Forming allies already, I see. Good work, Haz.”

“Haz?” Louis repeated, obviously having heard that last part. He cocked a smile at Harry and his bright blue eyes lit up with fascination. “Hazza!” He threw his arms around Harry, nuzzling his head into his neck playfully causing Harry to blush uncomfortably until Louis pulled away.

“How old are you, Louis?” Liam asked, raising an eyebrow at the previous gesture.

“Twenty.”

Harry and Liam looked at each other at first then back at Louis, their faces reeking of shock. It was hard to believe that he was really that old. Harry expected him to be at least seventeen or eighteen, surely the amount of energy he had made him seem younger.

Louis frowned, flipping his hair back, then straightening it out with his fingers. “Why do you look so surprised? I’m not that old!” He defended himself then looked at them curiously. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” Harry answered for them both.

Louis scoffed. “Well, don’t I feel old then.”

The three of them somehow found themselves shoved into the line, where they continued to converse about random things as the line moved up.

Dinner, to say the least, was fantastic. Roast beef with mashed potatoes and corn on the side made it feel like a holiday for Harry. Zayn and Niall had sat down with them and the two of them as well as Louis had looked like they’ve never seen anything so appetizing in their lives. In fact, everybody was so into eating their food that the conversations had discontinued, leaving their table with comfortable silence. As a matter of fact, the entire cafeteria had grown increasingly quiet as people had started to eat. Harry figured the only benefits to the Hunger Games were the luxuries the training provided. With that realisation, he figured he might as well enjoy while it lasted.

He had taken the first bite of his piece of bread when he felt something hit him in the face. The object had fallen into his empty bowl of corn and appeared to be a red grape.

“Sorry!” Niall exclaimed then burst into a fit of laughter, while Zayn hit him in the arm, giggling with him, attempting to get him to stop.

Harry continued eating bread as he glanced over at Liam, observing how he was picking at his roast beef and how it made Harry feel hungry all over again, even though he was practically full.

Loud crashes filled the room and caused the room to go quiet and Harry nearly dropped his bread when he heard a male voice shout, “Take that back!” Harry turned his head to see two boys who appeared to be fighting each other, more like beating the shit out of each other, to be honest. Their food had been knocked to the ground and people had backed away from them. All of a sudden, one of the boys was knocked to the ground and Harry turned back around when he heard the sound of a chair being moved against the tiles and the next thing he saw was Louis heading towards the exit.

Reacting almost immediately, Harry flew from his seat and ran out the door, looking around outside until he found Louis heading away from the building. The sky was a dark blue, and it was starting to get dark out as night was approaching.

“Wait up!” Harry finally hollered to Louis who simply ignored him and kept walking. Harry, with his perseverance, wouldn’t dare to give up so easily. He continued to chase after Louis until he laid his hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stop. Harry faced Louis and it only took a second to register in his brain that Louis was not only crying, but sobbing uncontrollably. Harry felt a strain in his heart and he wanted to say that Louis looked upset, but that would be an understatement. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone so upset before in his life.

Louis finally looked at Harry, his blue eyes now brighter than ever before, tears filling inside and slipping down his cheeks which were now a deep shade of red. Harry almost felt like crying now because Louis just looked so… broken, and he didn’t know why. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, bringing him close to him, letting his head lean on his shoulder. He hadn’t noticed it before, but Louis was just a little shorter than him by maybe an inch. Harry patted tiny circles on Louis’ back in an attempt to comfort him, but Louis continued to cry hysterically, sounding like a child that had just witnessed the death of his parents.

“What’s wrong, Louis?” Harry asked in a soft voice, desperate to know what was causing him so much pain. Louis didn’t respond, so Harry repeated himself trying not to show his impatience. “Louis, please tell me what’s wrong.”

Louis sniffed then made an effort to speak, his words slurring together. “W-why should I… expect y-you to c-care?” Harry didn’t even time to register his words into his brain when he continued, “Y-you don’t kn-know me.”

Harry sighed, giving up on trying to help this kid. It wasn’t worth it. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me anything.” He wanted to pull away from Louis to walk away, so that maybe, just maybe Louis would beg him to come back and then he might get his way. But Harry couldn’t find the willpower to break away from the hug, and apparently neither could Louis. He sighed again louder this time, and decided this might have had something to do with his family, and leaving them behind. He broke the hug, then looked Louis straight in the eye. “Can I tell you something?” Louis didn’t say anything so he took that as a yes. “When I was younger, my mum taught me how important it is to stay positive, no matter how difficult a situation is. Well, obviously she didn’t know what she was talking about. I mean, it wasn’t until a while later that the divorce happened, and all her advice was suddenly forgotten. So I follow my own advice now.” Harry blinked hard. “Listen, Louis. I don’t know what’s bothering you or why you rushed out of there so fast, but no matter how bad your problem is, there’s always a solution, believe it or not. Even this stupid death game. Who knows? Maybe we’ll make it.” Harry knew at this point he was only bluffing but it was going well with the whole inspirational speech, so false hope couldn’t be too bad.

“It’s not just the Games,” Louis finally spoke, his words starting to form sentences more fluently now. “Well, I mean it is partly, but…” His eyes went from the ground to Harry and back to the ground again. “Other things.”

Harry was practically screaming in his head, wanting to get on his knees and beg for Louis to tell him what was going on, but Harry knew he had to maintain his composure, especially in a time like this. He looked back at Louis, unsure of what to say next. That’s when he began to notice his features more carefully. His tear-stained eyes looked a bit feminine, to be honest and now that he was actually paying attention to Louis’ physical attributes, his whole face was full of delicate features. Of course, that didn’t mean he didn’t look masculine, because he definitely did. The whole realisation made Harry’s head spin, confused at what he was trying to interpret.

Harry decided there was no way Louis was going to tell him now. But he had a feeling that the time would come when Louis would, so he put some comfort in believing that, and decided it was time to change the subject… after he asked one last question. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you run out of there?”

“I don’t like fighting,” Louis explained almost immediately, crossing his arms. “Which is obviously going to be a problem, since I’m here and all, you know.”

“You could always just hide and wait for everyone else to be killed…” Harry began to speak without thinking through his words, but it wasn’t until a moment later that he realised he had been speaking his mind, and now Louis was looking at him curiously, and Harry’s face flushed red. He shrugged. “Just an idea.”

“On a lighter note, dinner was delicious,” Louis pointed out, and Harry felt relief that Louis had finally decided to change the subject. Harry wasn’t an interpersonal person, not that he wasn’t a good conversationalist. He just worked better on his own is all.

“It was,” Harry agreed. “Which district are you from again?”

“Seven.”

Harry nodded in understanding. District 7 was responsible for providing lumber for the Capitol. “So I assume you’re good with an ax then?”

Louis’ smiled bashfully, Harry immediately knowing he had probably embarrassed him. “I’m better at doing other things.” Harry expected Louis to clarify, but instead he asked another question. “So what do you do at the Capitol?”

“Well, if you’re speaking generally, everybody just prances around all day doing nothing but spending money, flaunting their clothing to the public, oh and celebrating,” Harry gave him as much detail as he could, cleverly leaving out the part about the people being thankful they didn’t live in the other districts.

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Celebrating?”

“People will always make a big deal out of the smallest news. It gets annoying to sleep at night sometimes with all the noise…” He stopped talking, realising he had been rambling on and not given Louis a chance to speak. “What about you? How are things in your district?”

“Quiet I guess. Nothing big really happens,” Louis started, but Harry could sense something wrong with the look in his eyes. Louis seemed uncomfortable but he had opened his mouth to continue talking, regardless of the obvious discomfort he felt. “I mean, if you don’t count being starved all the time and the occasional shootings, then yeah, nothing big.”

Harry’s eyes bulged at Louis’ words and he suddenly felt like shouting. “Shootings?”

Louis nodded, with a sarcastic grin on his face now. “And starvation. Something you rich kids aren’t aware of.” Then he began laughing without humor and turned to walk away, but Harry had grabbed his hand.

“Is that what this is about?” Harry frowned, giving him a disapproving look. “You can’t be serious.” Was it true that the only reason Louis was refusing to say anything to Harry because he was a “rich kid” who was spoiled and selfish? Harry was many things, but he was not selfish. He grabbed Louis by both of his shoulders and forced him to look at him. “Listen, I might be from the Capitol but that doesn’t mean my life is amazing either. Sure, maybe I get fed more. Sure, our people don’t get shot randomly. That doesn’t mean we don’t have other problems. And I’m not talking the silly problems in old soap operas like dealing with a dead ex-girlfriend’s psycho murderer. There are other problems, Louis. I don’t know if you’re aware, but our entire nation is fucked, hence why we’re stuck in this hellhole, and dwelling on it more and thinking about the stupid things isn’t going to help anybody. Now if you’re going to continue to be an ignorant prick, then please, do carry on. But if you want to talk to someone who might actually care about you, then do know that I’m right here.” Harry was out of breath by the time he was done speaking, and he instantly regretted ever saying anything by the look on Louis’ face. He couldn’t tell whether he was angry, convinced, or both.

Louis finally sighed after a matter of seconds and Harry grew excited right away, hoping he would get the right response out of Louis. “Okay, I suppose… you’re right. I’m sorry for judging you, I really am, that was incredibly selfish on my part. I guess I just grew overwhelmed and used you as an outlet, and… that was wrong of me.” Louis’ eyes found Harry’s, which matched his words, honest and innocent. And that was good enough for Harry.

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry assured him, trying to make things a bit easier for him. His attention suddenly went up to the sky, noticing that it had gotten remarkably darker than it had been before. It wasn’t pitch black yet, for he could still see Louis’ face, but it was getting close. “We should probably head back, it’s getting late.”

The two boys trudged through the forest, Harry leading the way though he wasn’t completely sure where he was going. He was starting to panic as they had progressed, but when he saw a flash of light, he knew those were where the cabins were, and felt a sense of relief that he had gotten them both back safe and sound.

They reached that point when they were ready to go separate ways, their cabins were practically next to each other, actually. Harry had said goodnight to him, but Louis had stopped him from walking away. “Wait…”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think we could maybe…” Louis trailed off, sounding very anxious and Harry couldn’t figure out why, “train together again tomorrow?”

“That’s fine with me,” Harry responded right away, still confused as to why Louis had sounded so nervous.

Louis grinned at Harry, showing his white teeth. Harry still found it hard to believe that he was smiling so wide even though he had only been crying not even an hour ago. “Goodnight, Harry.”

Harry gulped, chills running up and down his skin at the way Louis had said his name. He didn’t what was happening and he wasn’t familiar with this feeling, so he simply brushed it off as he entered his cabin. He tried to be as quiet as he could, considering the possibility that Liam was asleep. However, when he had turned on the lights, he was disappointed to see that he wasn’t there.

Harry left his cabin once again, and searched the surrounding area for his friend. Surely he couldn’t still be eating, it’s been at least an hour since he had left. He was about to give up and head back when he smelled a mix of sugar and smoke, then proceeded to follow the smell. It didn’t seem he had walked too far when he saw a small fire, with about a dozen people surrounding it. His eyes found Liam, as well as Zayn and Niall, who were roasting marshmallows on a stick over the open fire. He almost wanted to laugh. People were two weeks away from having to fight to their death, and they were having a campfire as if it were nothing. Harry remembered his promise earlier, to have a good time and appreciate it all while it lasted, and realised that’s what the people were doing. Despite how much he wanted to join the party, he suddenly felt reluctant to go back to his cabin and get some rest. Harry wasn’t particularly in the mood to do anything and his lack of sleep was eventually going to catch up with him, and he was afraid that would happen soon if he didn’t take care of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

“Oh my god, are you kidding me? Wake up!” was the first thing Harry heard after he rolled out of his bed and onto the hard floor, groaning in pain and extreme irritation.

He rubbed up and down his leg, trying to ease the pain. He shot Liam a glare and contemplated his surroundings, a dreadful reminder that he wasn’t in his room. Harry groaned again. “Jesus, Li, what’s the matter with you?”

“Me? What’s the matter with you? You wouldn’t wake up!” Liam complained, sounding very frustrated with Harry. Well, someone didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed today. Well, neither had Harry, obviously. “And you’re going to make us miss breakfast!”

“Shit…” Harry muttered, picking himself off the floor. “Okay, let me just change, I’ll be out in a bit.” Once Liam had left, closing the door behind him, Harry sighed to himself, still feeling undoubtedly exhausted. He didn’t understand how Liam had woken up before him; he had evenbeen partying last night. Maybe Liam just dealt with sleep deprivation better than he did. In fact, Liam always woke him up. It was always him or Gemma. Images started to flash into Harry’s mind, and the memories were too sickening to think about. He pushed them away, not wanting to become depressed over that.

Harry pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it onto his mattress, breathing heavily, that simple action taking so much of his energy. How was he ever going to survive today? He began muttering curse words to himself as he preoccupied himself with trying to find something to wear in the dresser, another luxury provided to them. He wanted to go for the dark blue skinny jeans, which went well with the white t-shirt, but was torn between that and the baggy black pants. Harry couldn’t decide which he favored more, comfort or fashion.

Harry had his hopes set on the skinnies when he heard the door fling open from behind him, causing him to jump. He groaned with much irritation. He just couldn’t wait, could he? “I said just a minute, Liam!” Harry turned himself around to send Liam a threatening look but was surprised to see Louis standing in front of him with his mouth gaping open.

Blood rushed to Harry’s cheeks and now he felt bad for yelling at him, though he had no clue Louis had been there in place of Liam. Plus he hadn’t knocked either, something Harry expected only Liam to do. Louis’ hair was looking slightly messy as usual and he was wearing a long-sleeved blue and white striped shirt with light blue capris, and brown sandals. Obviously Louis had decided to dress comfortably today. It only took Harry a moment later for another realisation to shoot through him that caused his cheeks to burn hotter. Harry was shirtless, and Louis was practically staring at him.

“Uh…” Harry began but couldn’t find the words to say. He turned back around and blinked hard, mentally swearing at himself. He was planning to turn around and apologise or say anything to Louis to make the situation less awkward, but by the time the decision was made, Louis was gone.

Sighing with relief, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, then walked back over to his bed, where the jeans sat. He tried them on, and was surprised that they fit him almost perfectly. Feeling satisfied, he pulled the white t-shirt over his head, and tossed some sneakers onto his feet. He was about to leave, but then began to wonder if Louis was out there.

His chest tightened at the thought and, all of a sudden, all Harry wanted to do was throw himself back in his bed and go back to sleep. Before he could further dwell on that thought, common sense hit him and he started to question why he had found that situation so awkward. Usually when people walked in on him changing, he hardly felt anything but minor surprise. Whether they were his family, friends… even girls. That was only being shirtless though. There was really no need for men to be embarrassed about that, unless they were very insecure about themselves. Harry was insecure at times, but he really was a big bowl of confidence for the most part, especially when it came to his body. If that was true, then why was he so embarrassed when Louis had seen him shirtless? Harry unintentionally found himself replaying it in his head as he started to make his way to the dining hall for breakfast.

The minute he walked in, his eyes found Liam who was laughing with Zayn and Niall as he shoved a sausage link into his mouth. They must really get on well now, Harry thought to himself as he began to make his way to their table. It took him a second to realise that Louis wasn’t there with the rest of them. He couldn’t still be outside, could he?

“I told you, he’s a comical genius!” Zayn exclaimed to the other two boys as Liam burst out laughing, though Harry had a hard time figuring out what was so funny.

Harry took a seat in the open spot next to Liam and cleared his throat, trying to sound as obnoxious as he could. “Pardon me for interrupting your banter, but I would just like to acknowledge my existence here.”

The boys only continued to giggle, Niall practically dying of laughter, his little Irish face turning bright red. Harry sighed, giving up on trying to get their attention. He decided he’d better get something to eat before training began. Yesterday hadn’t gone so well, considering he hadn’t a clue of what to do, but that was normal, since it had been the first day of training. Today he was simply tired, and he would be lucky if food gave him even the littlest of energy.

Harry was standing in the back of the line when he felt someone poke his shoulder. Only when he heard the slight high-pitched voice saying hello to him did he have a guess on who it was.

“Hi, Louis,” he greeted, muttering under his breath, trying to avoid looking at Louis. His presence brought back the incident that had occurred not even twenty minutes ago, and now Harry was uncomfortable simply standing here. But he wasn’t uncomfortable enough to walk away, since he was starving.

“Listen, uh… I’m sorry about this morning,” Louis apologised, though his voice sounded too energetic to be saying sorry. “I wanted to tell Liam something and I assumed he wouldn’t care if I just walked in, but, uh… yeah, I should’ve knocked.”

Without giving it a second thought, Harry chuckled as a way of forgiving Louis. He didn’t know why he was laughing, probably his way of making the situation less awkward. Louis was looking at him with a confused frown and Harry surfaced back to normal. “It’s totally fine, Louis.”

“Then why were you laughing?”

“Because you’re getting all worked up over nothing.” Harry knew he sounded a bit hypocritical, considering the fact that he was freaking out probably just as much as Louis. He knew it really was nothing, Liam had walked in on him thousands of times, but for some reason, this had been different and choosing to laugh it off was much easier than unnecessarily overanalysing it. Changing the subject wouldn’t be a bad idea either. “So what did you need to tell Liam?”

“Nothing,” Louis responded quickly, making it look completely obvious that it wasn’t just nothing. He took that into consideration right away and decided to clarify. “I was giving him advice.”

“Advice?”

“It’s not really my secret to tell, but since it involves your friend…” Louis turned away from Harry for a brief moment, looking around as if to check if it was safe to speak, “Niall likes him.”

Harry’s eyes nearly popped out of his head at this news. Now he wasn’t really one for drama, but when something as big as this had something to do with Liam, Harry was genuinely concerned.

“He confessed his feelings yesterday,” Louis further explained.

“But wait…” Harry frowned, trying to put it all together. “Then what were giving him advice for?”

A smirk rose on Louis’ face and he grinned, sliding a tray onto his hand from the counter. “Sorry, not my secret to tell.”

Harry mentally groaned, resisting the urge to yell back, “Then what is?” but instead he maintained his composure and pretended to forget about it despite how much he wanted to know what Louis was hiding from him. Harry’s stomach now growling like a beast, he retrieved a cup of tea with milk and sugar, and then settled on two slices of bread with butter.

The two of them made their way to the table, the rest of the boys continuing to laugh with each other. An eerie feeling surrounded Harry and he took a second to remind himself of the current situation. There were twenty-six tributes, sitting in this cafeteria, eating breakfast, right before they were about to train for a death game where twenty-five of them would lose their lives, and only one would go home to see their friends and families again. All the while everybody was playing it off as nothing and enjoying every moment they had left. Although Harry agreed with that, he still couldn’t help but feel that same continuous tug in his heart with the idea that he was going to have to kill everybody in this room. What made it worse was everybody shared that thought. Simply considering that truly made Harry sick to his stomach. He forced himself to take a bite of his bread, but his plan didn’t suffice, for he had lost his appetite. He drank down his tea, not caring if it was hot, which was an unfortunate mistake since he ended up burning his tongue but didn’t notice until about five minutes later when he was walking outside, completely pissed off and yelling a string of profanities.

He found the nearest water fountain, which was conveniently next to the area he was supposed to train in today. Yesterday he had worked on archery the entire day, and today he would work with knives and learn techniques on throwing them. Normally Harry would be delighted to learn such tactics, but since he knew what he was training for, he was far from ready to do anything.

Since it was early morning training, he didn’t have to change into his uniform yet. There wouldn’t really be a point to that since lunch would follow afterwards, and then the real training would begin. Besides, in early morning training, the tributes were only taught the maneuvers and attempted them here and there, but it wasn’t something that involved “getting down and dirty” so wearing regular clothing wasn’t a big deal. Individual training was unmonitored, and everyone was expected to work on the skills they’ve learned, assuming that nobody wanted to be left behind in the Hunger Games. Why would anyone in the right of mind blow that off anyway?

Harry stepped away from the water fountain, pain still lingering on his tongue. He forced himself to tough it out as he started to make his way to the training field, a loud buzzer going off, signaling that breakfast was over. This field looked different than yesterday’s. The one yesterday had dartboards lined alongside each other and was much simpler. The one today included dartboards, but these were spread further from each other, and they were able to move, that way people could also train their reflexes. Harry inhaled nervously as people began to approach him.

“Harry!” Liam hollered, patting Harry on the shoulder. It came off a bit strange to Harry that Liam was smiling, after the unpleasantness he’d been feeling for the past two days. He could understand how everyone else did it, but Liam? “I didn’t know you were here today.”

Harry shrugged. “I guess everyone’s randomly being sent to different stations.” It was weird, Harry expected there to be some specific order, but it was really just random. He then remembered Louis and how he had stopped by this morning. “Oh, by the way, Louis says he needs to talk to you.”

Liam’s expression grew intense for a brief moment, then he began to smirk. “I see you and Louis are beginning to get on well.” He moved closer to Harry, his grin growing broader. “Anything I should know about?”

Harry’s cheeks began to burn, and that statement was so unexpected that even Harry didn’t know what Liam was suggesting. “Shut up, Liam.”

Liam chuckled, then cocked his head to see two familiar looking boys walking right past us. Harry recognised the one with the dirty blonde hair, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It wasn’t until a second later that he realised these were the boys that had been fighting last night. Katniss, Harry recalled her name, had approached them and was standing in between the two, as if to keep them from killing each other, and Harry remembered that the dirty blonde’s name was Peeta.

As training begun, Harry found it difficult to keep up with everything. He had a few of the techniques down in his head and had yet to try them out, but he was suddenly nervous and absolutely terrified to do anything in front of all these people. Harry was handed a knife, the longest knife he’d ever laid eyes on, and though he knew exactly what he needed to do, he couldn’t bring himself to. He sighed, trying to relax himself, as he flung the knife into the air, just like the demonstration, and watched as it hit the edge of the dartboard. He had been so close to missing it, but he had done fairly well for his first try.

It took him three tries to finally hit the bulls-eye and Harry was feeling rather accomplished until he looked to see that the girl standing next to him was shooting knife after knife at the dartboards as they moved around, making him feel very overwhelmed now. Surprisingly, when he’d finally attempted it, he didn’t do as bad as he thought, and he was able to copy her moves in a short amount of time. It was this time that Harry was thankful for training beforehand.

Practically drenched in sweat, he felt grateful that it was finally time for lunch. He swore, if he had to look at a knife one more time today, he was going to gouge someone’s eyes out, well, er… poor choice of words.

Harry was starving, since he had made the unfortunate mistake of skipping breakfast. When he walked into the dining hall, the aroma of food filled his lungs and he found himself running to stand in line. He was pleased to know that he would be getting his food right away since he was one of the very first people to stand in line. Feeling much better than he had the entire day, he made his way to a table, and sat down, shoving the spaghetti into his mouth, moaning at the rich flavors that were fueling his appetite.

Enjoying his food, he looked up to see Zayn and Louis smiling at him, setting their trays on the table, and sitting down next to Harry. Louis was to the left of Harry, seemingly too close, and suddenly Harry’s mood had changed, leaving him very confused by Louis’ presence.

“Just be thankful you didn’t have to make fire,” Zayn complained, sipping his diet Coke. “That was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do.”

Louis gave him a hard, serious look. “Well, throwing knives isn’t all that easy either.”

“You were throwing knives too?” Harry questioned him, looking up at him in surprise. He hadn’t seen Louis at the station today, but maybe he was just standing too far away for Harry to notice.

Louis nodded, as he took his fork and proceeded to wrap his spaghetti around it. “I saw you, but I don’t think you saw me. You’re really good with knives.”

Harry scoffed, trying to remain modest. “The girl next to me looked like she knew what she was doing.”

“Oh yeah, Danielle.” Louis shoved the noodles into his mouth, drinking it down with some Dr. Pepper. “She’s from my district. I believe I dated her once.”

Harry nearly choked on his food at that last part, and he didn’t know why but he found it so hard to believe that Louis had a girlfriend at some point in his life. It wasn’t that he wasn’t handsome, and Harry wasn’t afraid to admit that Louis was quite the eye candy, but Harry just couldn’t see him ever having a girlfriend.

Niall and Liam came to the table, discussing what sounded like an inside joke and laughing as they sat down in front of the other three boys.

“You guys,” Liam began, the tone of his voice just screamed that he was excited. “Niall’s bow hit someone else’s dartboard, and you know what the best part is? He hit it perfectly!” He continued to laugh, though everyone else but the two of them were sitting still, emotionless and clueless as to what was so funny about that.

There is definitely something going on between them, Harry started to think, then remembered that Louis was supposedly giving him advice. Could it be that they were interested in each other? Harry laughed at himself immediately at his assumption. It was silly to think that Liam would be interested in a guy, when Harry knew he was completely straight.

After Harry had finished eating, he decided it’d be best to head back to his cabin to change for individual training. Barely a second after he’d stepped out of the dining hall, he heard Louis’ voice call out his name from behind.

“Are we still going to train together?” Louis sounded very nervous, which came off as a shock to Harry. Louis’ facial expression even gave away that he really did want to train with Harry.

Harry grinned, putting a hand over his forehead, trying to block out the sun from hitting his eyes. “Of course. Just give me a second to change.” He waited until Louis gave him a look of approval, then ran out to his cabin to change as quickly as he could. He found himself enthralled by the thought of training alongside Louis, because, let’s face it, it was a hell of a lot better than training with a huge group of people.

When Harry walked outside his cabin, Louis was waiting for him. He gave him a huge grin as the two of them as they began to walk, stopping by the field they had trained in today to grab a few knives.

“Teach me your ways,” Louis demanded in a low voice, as Harry chuckled, patting Louis on the shoulder playfully, taking a knife from his hands.

“Okay, so it’s really a lot easier than it looks. Well it’s actually exactly how it looks. If that makes sense.” Louis licked his lips and rolled his eyes, with that familiar sassy expression on his face, which caused Harry to roll his eyes as well. “Okay, so basically you hold the knife behind you, of course being careful that you don’t hurt yourself in this process, and then you aim and release!” The knife landed to the edge of the dartboard as it had the first time he’d done this, and he blushed profusely, feeling embarrassed for acting so confident, and now trying to act defensive about it. “To be honest, I wasn’t really trying.”

Louis began to chuckle looking at Harry with a wide grin, but when they had both made eye contact with each other, both of their expressions came to an immediate change. Harry could feel a slight pain in his chest, and before he got around to questioning it, he found himself gazing intensely into Louis’ blue eyes which seemed to be piercing into his soul. Harry wasn’t going to lie, Louis had some beautiful eyes for a boy…

“I’ll give it a shot.” Louis sounded a bit more confident than earlier and Harry crossed his arms, curious to see what would happen. He watched Louis bend over and pick up a knife off the ground, obviously careful not to grab it by the point. He held it behind his head and released, just as Harry had shown him. Harry’s mouth dropped when he saw that the knife had hit inches away from the bulls-eye.

He patted Louis on the back, still shocked by how well he had done. “That was amazing.”

Louis’ cheeks turned a bright red, and he seemed to be failing in trying to hide how much Harry’s compliment had meant to him. “I guess…”

Harry’s lips crept into a smile, and the look on Louis’ face caused Harry to remember the conversation they had earlier. “So, Louis,” he began, thinking of a way to ask his question. “How many girls have you been with?”

“Um…” Suddenly Louis looked panicked. It was that same expression Harry recognised when Louis was trying to hide something, or felt uncomfortable with sharing secrets about his life. “Just Danielle…”

That couldn’t be it. Surely someone as attractive as Louis- Harry stopped himself. Did he just admit that Louis was attractive? His cheeks started to burn at the thought and looking at Louis wasn’t making it any easier on him. But really, surely Louis had been with more people than that. Maybe it was best to clarify. “Have you been with any boys?”

Louis scratched the back of his neck, diverting his attention to the ground, making it obvious that he didn’t want to talk about it. But he hadn’t denied anything…

“How many?”

Louis sighed, obviously avoiding eye contact with Harry. He reached over to grab another knife, and flung it at the dartboard with such intensity, it almost seemed he was upset. He finally looked at Harry and sighed again. “It was a one-night stand, okay? It doesn’t count.” His face was now redder than a tomato, and it was clear that he was embarrassed. Louis continued to throw knives as he spoke, “What about you? How many people have you been with?”

To be honest, Harry hadn’t really ever had a relationship with anyone before. Maybe a few girls here and there, but they were only there for his pleasures and there wasn’t really a relationship behind it. Now that Harry thought about it, he had never been in love before. Now the question was, should he be honest with Louis or lie and say he’s been with many women? He figured honesty was the best way to go since Louis had no shame in being honest with him.

“Since we’re being honest here…” he trailed off, then looked down in slight embarrassment. “None.”

Louis raised his eyebrows, in downright shock, as if surprised that nobody wanted to be with Harry. “Not even one?”

“Well, it depends what you mean. I mean, of course I’ve been laid a few times here and there, but I’ve never had an actual relationship, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The conversation didn’t get much interesting after that, and Harry spent the rest of the evening trying to figure Louis out. To be honest, he wasn’t surprised Louis liked boys by the way he’d been acting and dressing. Maybe that was why Harry couldn’t picture him with girls. But since he had dated Danielle, that would also mean he was straight. So Louis was bisexual, then?

Harry also found himself contemplating how the one-night stand had come to be, as creepy as that was. What if the one-night stand was what had turned Louis gay? Unless you were gay the minute you were born, then that was out of the question. Questions were filling Harry’s head and the more he thought about it, the more confusion he felt. Sexuality was a difficult thing to think about.

When Harry finally got around to sleeping that night, he found himself thinking about Louis and wondering how he could be so masculine and feminine all at the same time and all the while his mind was making images of Louis’ powerful blue eyes and how they had shined when they made eye contact with Harry’s. When he pictured his slightly messy golden brown hair, now that Harry really gave it some thought, he couldn’t see that hair on a straight male. It was as if he was seeing Louis in a different light now. And as if the boy wasn’t already causing him so much trouble, Harry had closed his eyes in desperation to fall asleep, but in his head, he helplessly imagined Louis whispering goodnight to him, chills running through his body.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Unlike Zayn, Harry knew what he was doing. In a matter of seconds, he was able to make a fire without giving much effort. Since he had finished early, he figured he should practice the other things he’d learned to make full use of the time he had.

Things had been quiet today for Harry, which could be taken as a good and bad thing. He had purposely avoided confrontation with practically everyone today, and normally that wouldn’t have bothered him too much. Harry didn’t want to admit it, but the reason for his sudden isolation had everything to do with Louis. Ever since yesterday, Harry couldn’t get that boy out of his mind and it was driving him mad. If that wasn’t bad enough, not being around him was making him twice as insane, and independent training hadn’t been going well for Harry. There was just something about that boy that surrounded Harry with a dangerous cloud of emotions, and he knew in the right of mind that dwelling too much on something, or someone in this case, was even unnatural for Harry.

He effortlessly flung a knife into the dartboard, thinking of Louis’ stupid face and how much he desired to never see it again. The arrow struck the target perfectly, and Harry realised that by thinking that, he was reinforcing the idea that he wanted to kill Louis and no way did he want that, and it wasn’t until Harry threw his last knife then sunk to the ground in pure defeat that he came to the conclusion that he didn’t want this boy out of his life, despite the short amount of time they’d known each other. He couldn’t contemplate how or why this had came to be, and he was still doubting the perplexed feelings that overcame him when he was around Louis. But for now, he just knew for a fact that there was no way he could kill this boy, and so he was left with two final options. Harry could either risk his feelings and get closer to Louis even with the knowledge that he’d have to kill him eventually, or he could forget any of this had ever happened, avoid him at all costs, and kill him and get it over with. Trusting himself, he decided moving on was the easiest path and that’s what he set out to do.

As he stepped into the dining hall, he had every intention of sitting by himself but when he glanced over and saw Liam and the rest talking and laughing, he couldn’t resist going to them. Who knows? Maybe this might even improve Harry’s day.

He immediately greeted everyone at the table and everybody returned the favour. His eyes glanced over the group of people, Zayn was picking through his food while Niall and Liam were laughing as usual, but he couldn’t help but feel that someone was missing. “Where’s Louis?”

“Haven’t seen him,” Liam replied, shrugging as he threw a piece of his chicken into his mouth.

Harry tried to shrug it off, and he did for the most part, but while he was eating and occasionally participating in the conversation, he felt uneasiness the whole time in the sense that something had changed. After Harry had finished his meal, he found himself preoccupied by laughter from a remark Niall had made, which helped him relax for a little while. Eventually though, he left the conversation, deciding he might as well get some sleep, though he was far from exhausted. He was steps away from his cabin when he began to wonder where Louis had gone and why he had missed dinner. Could it be that Louis was trying to avoid Harry too?

Harry brushed it off like it was nothing, and decided it was better this way. But the minute he stepped into his bed, his mind started to come up with the worst case scenarios. What if Louis wasn’t okay? What if something happened to him? What if he was hurt? Could that have been the real reason he hadn’t shown up for dinner?

Before Harry could even give it a second thought, he bolted out the door and headed straight to the older boy’s cabin, weariness sweeping over him in hopes that Louis was safe and sound. He grabbed the door knob and was considering flinging it open, but remembered that Danielle might be sleeping. Harry opened the door quickly, and the first thing he noticed was a bed, with a body wrapped inside the blankets, some of Louis’ brown locks revealed out of the sheets. Harry sighed in relief, thankful that Louis was okay. Looks like he had freaked out over nothing. His sudden moment of relief had passed when he heard the sound of sheets being moved around. Starting to panic, he turned himself around to leave, but came to complete stop when he heard a soft voice murmur, “Don’t go.”

The voice sent shivers down Harry’s spine and suddenly he was standing still, unable to move. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to leave, more than anything, but at the same time, the gentleness and desperation in Louis’ voice was keeping him from opening the door.

Harry blinked hard and swore under his breath, turning around to face Louis. He was leaning against his bed frame, with blankets covering his lower body, his upper exposed and naked. Harry gulped at the sight and forced himself to stop staring, no matter how good Louis looked shirtless. He paid closer attention and noticed Louis’ hair was a tangled mess and the dark bags under his eyes indicated that he was exhausted.

Harry sighed, deciding he might as well get some answers out of Louis since he was already here. “Why weren’t you at dinner?”

“I wasn’t hungry,” Louis replied, his voice unexpectedly shaky, and Harry could see right through him.

“That’s a lie. You look like you’ve been to hell and back.” Truth be told, if they had been at Harry’s home, Harry would’ve brought him something to eat at this point, but dinner was long over by now, and food wouldn’t be served again until the next morning. Louis was obviously avoiding something again and Harry could tell by the way he kept glancing over the top of Harry’s head, his eyes wandering around the room as if waiting for something to happen. Harry inhaled and exhaled slowly, the existence of Louis already making him feel overwhelmed. He made a second attempt to leave, this time not letting anything hold him back, as he pressed his hands onto the doorknob.

“Stay with me.” The words sent familiar chills throughout Harry and he tried to force them away, trying to remember what was important. Avoiding Louis at all costs. “Please.”

Harry turned around immediately, the look of desperation on Louis’ face making it harder to leave. In that moment, the older boy actually looked fairly young, and the expression on his face was undeniably tempting, practically screaming that he needed someone. Harry sighed for the umpteenth time and decided to give in, making his way over to the bed feeling Louis’ eyes on him the entire time. He sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling awkward and unsure of his motives. Louis threw the covers off of him, revealing black baggy pants. Harry moved in closer, feeling invited by the warmth of the mattress and Louis tossed the covers over them. Harry’s cheek were now scarlet and he was thankful it was dark enough that Louis wouldn’t notice.

Harry gave Louis a small smile, but Louis was still looking as frazzled as he did when Harry had walked in. The next minute, which was completely out of his control, Harry put his arm over Louis’ shoulders then whispered, “Is everything okay?”

Louis leaned back into Harry’s chest, causing the younger boy’s heart to race at an incredible pace, and he could feel the rise and fall of Louis’ chest as he breathed heavily. “When are things ever okay, Harry?”

Harry, immediately dumbfounded by Louis’ statement, realising he was doing nothing but making it harder for Louis. “I’m serious, Lou. What’s been bothering you lately? I mean, besides the obvious.” Harry found himself pulling Louis closer to him, almost using him as a teddy bear one would hold when they were scared.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Louis crossed his arms, stubbornly.

“Louis, I just want to help you.”

“It’s just-” Louis began to say, but paused as if trying not to reveal too much. “My mum…” He sighed, leaning his head into Harry’s neck, sighing deeply, the warmth of his breath hitting Harry’s skin, causing him to flinch, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling. “She’s the one who’s going to have to suffer the most. There was already the divorce and that was only a year ago and now she’s going to have to watch me die. Not to mention she’s the one who’s going to have to break my death to my sisters and deal with their reactions, and it-it’s all my fault. It’s always my fault. For the divorce, for everything.”

Harry looked down at Louis pitifully, his heart aching for the boy, but pity was probably the last thing he wanted. In an attempt to comfort him, he wrapped his arms around him, tingles spreading throughout his body at their closeness. “Listen, I don’t know what happened with the divorce, but I do know that it’s never the child’s fault for anything. That is between your parents. Nobody else. And are you kidding me? This is the Hunger Games. It’s not like you chose to be in it. You can’t honestly blame yourself for something out of your control. And shut the fuck up about dying, alright?” At the spur of the moment, he was so caught up with his emotions that he hadn’t realised the volume of his voice was rising and he couldn’t decide whether he was upset or simply driven to comfort this boy. “You have as much chance of winning as everybody else, okay?”

“Well thanks, but I’m not like you who’s good at everything. I’ll honestly be surprised if you don’t win.”

Harry didn’t whether that was a compliment or Louis doubting himself. As much as he was flattered from what Louis had said, Louis’ feelings were much more important right now. “Don’t say that. I’m no better than anybody else.”

Louis turned around and stared intensely into Harry’s eyes, the proximity of their faces causing Harry’s breath to hitch in absurd nervousness. “You know, for a Capitol kid, you’re quite modest.”

“Not everyone is stuck-up there, you know,” Harry referred back to their row two days ago, which he thought they’d sorted out.

“I know. I was just saying…” Louis turned his back to Harry, once again leaning into his chest, then stifled a yawn. “I’m so hungry.”

Harry unintentionally started playing with Louis’ hair, loving how it felt through his fingers. “You shouldn’t have skipped dinner.” He then remembered five minutes ago when Louis was drowning in self-pity. “You know, I’m pretty sure nobody’s living the greatest life right now. But in a way I’m kind of glad I came here. I got to meet new people, learn new skills, and even if I die in the end, at least I’ll die happy.” Harry paused, shocked at his own words. Did he really mean that? “What I’m saying is appreciate what’s left, even if it’s not much. Nothing is worse than missing out on something you could have.”

Louis took what seemed forever to answer, in fact, it was so long that Harry began to regret running his mouth and wanted to say something else to make the moment less awkward.

“I guess you’re right.” Louis had yawned again, then pulled himself further into the bed, his head now resting on Harry’s chest. “I’m tired.”

Harry set his hand on Louis’ back, as if assuring him that it was okay to go to sleep. “Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes.”

Louis had answered so abruptly that Harry was suddenly getting carried away with his emotions as he pushed himself down further into the bed. He moved to his side, turning away from Louis, not wanting to make the boy feel uncomfortable by being too close, though he desired to move closer. It was to his surprise when he felt Louis’ warm body wrap around him from behind, causing his body to flinch. He could feel Louis’ hot breath on his back and Harry shuddered slightly, overwhelmed by this experience. Neither of them said goodbye since Louis had already drifted to sleep, the sounds of his loud breathing filling the room. It wasn’t until Harry had began to close his eyes that he realised he was practically cuddling with Louis. And worse, enjoying it.

Harry’s eyes flew open what seemed like a few minutes after he’d fallen asleep, when it had really been six hours. He felt the most comfortable he had in weeks, and it had taken him a moment to acknowledge the sleeping body next to him. He smiled wryly, remembering the previous night and how Louis had held him as they fell asleep together. He wasn’t even going to deny that he enjoyed it a little too much. Maybe Harry was simply enjoying the fact that he’d gotten some attention, and maybe he was starting to become fond of Louis, but either way, his old feelings came back and common sense killed the mood. What happened to avoiding Louis? This was not part of his plan.

He carefully pushed himself off the bed, careful not to wake up Louis. When he looked back down at him, his perfect shirtless chest and his adorable sleeping face, he wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with him, but he knew that would only make matters worse. It was already bad enough before, and now Harry couldn’t even come to terms with the fact that he had to kill Louis.

He caught a glimpse of the bed next to them, and saw a sleeping Danielle tangled in the sheets. Harry’s cheeks went hot at the realisation that Danielle surely had seen them sometime. How awkward was that? Surely seeing an ex-boyfriend sleeping with another man had to be at least somewhat odd. All the more reason to leave now while he still could.

Harry entered his cabin as quietly as he could, remembering that Liam was still sleeping. However, when his eyes found Liam’s bed, Liam was nowhere to be found. Shrugging it off, he threw himself onto his bed, trying to get back to sleep, but found it hard without Louis’ arms around him. His heart was racing again and he couldn’t calm himself down.

What is happening to me?

This feeling was too new and scary and Harry had no idea how to deal with it. Sure, he had never been that intimate with anyone before in his life, and maybe if he’d cuddled with a girl at some point, he could deny his feelings now. But when he gave it some thought, he really couldn’t think of a girl when he had his mind set on Louis. It wasn’t even remotely the same. There was something about Louis that made Harry question everything his life had been all about, especially, and Harry nearly smacked himself for even thinking it, his sexuality.

The further he dwelled on it, the more he decided this wasn’t healthy, being obsessive over nothing. Harry hated that about himself. He angrily threw the covers off of himself and grabbed the first clothes he laid on eyes on and ran to the showers with haste.

He decided it was late enough for breakfast to start, since Harry had woken up considerably early. He was heading to the dining hall and the first thing he noticed was Liam, sitting alone at the table, in deep thought.

“Hey,” Harry greeted him, taking the seat next to him. “Where were you last night?”

“Is it really any of your business?” Liam snapped, then sighed. “Niall’s cabin.”

Harry’s eyes widened, as he moved closer so he could whisper to his friend. “Niall?”

Liam pushed his tray away from him, then set his head on the table, throwing his arms over himself. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Despite how much Harry wanted to know, he was seriously tired of everyone keeping secrets from him. It wasn’t like any of these people trusted him, not even Liam, and he didn’t blame them. This was the Hunger Games, what did he expect?

His attention had turned to Louis and Zayn, who were making their way to their table. Harry nearly spit out his tea at the sight of Louis. He just looked so different from how he looked last night. Last night he looked exhausted and broken, but still undeniably handsome. Now the person Harry was seeing looked completely different, his hair still messy but in a more natural way that still looked good. His eyes were bright and full of life and the warm glow of his tanned skin gave radiance to the room, and made Harry feel comfortable simply by his presence. Louis had a smile on his face, one that was obviously only intended for Harry, and Harry couldn’t stop himself from smiling back bashfully, afraid that others would see it. It wasn’t until Zayn started talking that Harry realised he had spent that entire time staring at Louis.

Louis cleared his throat, then began to speak, the sound of his voice causing Harry to jump. “Where’s Niall?”

“He’s asleep,” Liam responded right away and Harry shot him a confused frown. There was definitely something going on between them.

A loud buzzer suddenly rang out of nowhere, and everyone was looking at each other, curious as to why it had rang. Breakfast had just begun… The confusion in the room finally passed when the sound of Effie’s voice filled the room.

“Testing… Testing! Is this thing on? Right! Good morning, tributes! This announcement is to inform you that the Gamemakers will be arriving shortly, and that an assessment of your skills prior to the Hunger Games will take place within five days. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favour!”

Silence fell, but only for a brief moment when Harry heard someone holler, “Does she always have to say that?” and that was all it took to create an eruption of laughter throughout the cafeteria. But when the laughter had died down, Harry began to think about the assessment. What exactly would he be assessed on?

Avoiding his thoughts once more, he found himself watching as Louis scarfed down a scone and drank it down with tea. He tried to make himself seem less obvious by hovering his eyes around the room, trying to forget that he found it insanely adorable the way Louis was so hungry.

“Liam.”

Harry looked up from his food to see Niall making direct eye contact with Liam and clear his throat, shifting his eyes uncomfortably. “Look, I’m sorry about last night.”

Harry frowned trying to analyse his words, as Niall sat himself down next to Niall.

“I guess I let my emotions get the best of me, and, well, I understand if you never want to speak to me again, and… I don’t even care if I sound like an idiot in front of everyone, but… I just wanted to say that if you don’t feel the same way, that’s perfectly fine, I just want you to know that whatever happens, I’ll be there for you.” And that was about all Harry could hear because Niall was now speaking too softly for him to understand.

Harry kept his eyes focused on his meal, confused by what was going on. What had happened last night? Well, something definitely had happened and obviously nobody wanted to talk about it, which was perfectly fine since it was personal. Even with that, Harry couldn’t help but feel a sense of security that for now, whatever he and Louis shared, would be kept a secret, and would hopefully pass, since that was for the better.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Four days had passed since anything serious had happened between Harry and Louis. In fact, ever since Harry finally decided to avoid Louis for good, he started to found the idea hilarious how he ever considered having feelings for the boy. It wasn’t like Harry had completely ignored his existence. They just talked less and common sense had caught up with them that Harry had simply been foolish.

He had been training long and hard, in preparations for the assessment tomorrow. He didn’t know exactly what he had to do, but he figured if he could learn everything well, he couldn’t do too bad. The tributes were told to find their strengths and weaknesses and Harry found that he didn’t really have any physical weaknesses besides throwing knives repeatedly from different angles. He still felt envy towards Danielle for that.

It was the middle of independent training, almost a week gone by since Harry had seen his family. He spread his body on the grass, taking a break from training, and the nature around him automatically reminded him of home. Though it was unbearable to think about, his mind explored his memories, which involved laying down in the grass, just as he was doing now, except at home where he felt safe.

Harry watched as the clouds rolled by above him, passing by slowly in such a way that it made Harry feel like he was moving. He felt so relaxed, everything was calm, and at that moment Harry felt he was at home. He imagined his mum cooking her special burritos, the smell hanging in the air with Gemma singing softly to herself. Harry even thought of his father, the days before the divorce. He remembered his father had been the victor of the Hunger Games at one point, and Harry would have had some respect for him if he hadn’t left his mum for a man. Don’t get it wrong, Harry didn’t hate him because he was gay, but because he left his family without warning, leaving them alone to face the brutal world by themselves. Harry hadn’t even seen the man since the day he left, and he had no desire to ever see him again, but now that he was in a life or death situation, odds were he would never see his dad again. And traitor or not, he was still Harry’s father.

Harry’s breath caught and suddenly he felt himself go weak, rolling to his side and crouching into a fetal position, closing his eyes. Harry had felt alone before in his life, but he had never felt as alone as he did now.

After a few minutes of wallowing in self-pity, he finally picked himself up and decided he might as well head to dinner, despite how much he wanted to stay here and cry for the rest of the night. Since he had no desire to speak to anyone, he got his food as quickly as he could and went to his cabin, half expecting that Louis would follow him like he usually did, but felt slight disappointment when he hadn’t.

He threw the lights on and sat on the side of his bed, forcing himself to eat every bit of his meal, trying desperately not to think about anything that didn’t have to do with food. Harry finished eating quicker than he’d anticipated, despite how depressed he still felt. He was walking outside to throw away his trash, the sky still looking blue. The moment he turned around to head back, his heart nearly stopped at the sight of Niall and Liam kissing. Harry hadn’t even time to react when he began backing away, absolutely shocked and not wanting them to see that he was there. He had fully turned around to take off, then flew into someone, knocking them to the ground. Harry grunted with irritation, but then he opened his eyes to see Louis lying underneath him with his arms around Harry.

Blood rushed to his cheeks as he pushed himself off of the boy awkwardly, then straightened his clothes. “Sorry…”

As expected, Louis began laughing. “Nothing like déjà vu, right?”

Harry tried to smile back, remembering how they had bumped into each other in their first encounter. But when he reminded himself that he needed to be avoiding Louis, his smile had dropped, a solemn expression in its place. Everything was so hazy for Harry now, seeing Louis, Niall and Niall together, the unbearable thoughts of home… it was all too much and Harry couldn’t stand it.

But even then, there was something holding him back from leaving. Maybe it was the fact that Louis looked incredibly gorgeous, even in the dark, and there was something about his face that made it hard for Harry to resist staring. Or maybe it was the fact that Louis would most likely go after him if he ran off.

He felt Louis start to play with his curls, causing him to shudder at his touch when Louis’ fingertips found his scalp. “Are you okay?” Louis sounded so sympathetic and tempting, but Harry couldn’t let himself give in.

“I’m fine.”

“Harry…”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. Why should I tell you anything if you won’t tell me anything in return?” Harry felt remorse almost immediately. That was not what he wanted to say, granted it was something that had been bothering him.

At this point, he expected Louis to walk away with no intentions of ever talking to Harry again, but surprisingly Louis hadn’t given up that easily. Louis sighed, dropping his hands from Harry’s curls. “I’ll tell you anything you want.”

“What?” Had Harry misheard him?

Louis nodded in confirmation. “I have nothing to lose. What do you want to know?”

Harry felt bad for intruding, but it was Louis’ choice to tell him in the first place. He thought back through the questions he desperately wanted answers to. “Why were you upset that first night? When you left while Peeta and Cato were fighting.”

Louis crossed his arms, his face tensing up. “Any other questions?”

“But you said-”

“Okay, fine. Let’s, uh… go somewhere private,” Louis muttered, the volume of his voice decreasing with every word. They both began to head to a grassy hill close to them, near the one Harry had trained in today. “Okay, well, it’s a long story-”

Harry cut him off. “I’ve got time.”

“Alright, well, I suppose I’ll start at the beginning,” Louis began as they sat down in the grass, getting comfortable. The moon was right above them, the only light they had. It was a stellar sight, absolutely remarkable. “I told you that my parents divorced one year ago, right?” Harry nodded his head. “Well, that’s not exactly what happened. Well, kind of…” Louis droned on. “You see, my dad…. he was killed.” Louis didn’t give a Harry a chance to react as he continued, sighing deeply, and Harry noticed he had began to shake uncontrollably. “I…”

Harry patted Louis’ arm softly, trying to comfort him. “Lou…”

Louis pushed Harry’s hand away, pulling his knees to his face, hiding himself. “I killed him.”

Harry’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head and he was struggling to keep himself calm, taken aback by Louis’ words. Louis had killed his father? His own father? Louis sure as hell didn’t look like a killer. Surely this couldn’t be true, could it?

Louis brought his face out of hiding and looked at Harry, his eyes red and full of pain. “Now before you run off, because I know you will, please let me explain. My dad, you see, he was very homophobic.” Louis was now shaking in such a way that if anybody else was watching them, they would be worried that Louis was going to have a stroke. “When he found out I was gay, he threatened to send me away, as if to get a counselor or therapist of some sort to ‘turn me straight’. He said the same shit over and over again, saying that it’s unhealthy and I’ll never populate, when really, who in the right mind would want to bring a fucking child to this world?” Louis was clenching his fists now and blinking hard, as if trying to keep the anger contained. “Things happened here and there, eventually he ended up disowning me.” He looked down, his breathing distorted, as he started to fumble with his fingers nervously. “I wasn’t completely lying about the divorce… things grew hectic at home. My mum and dad were fighting and eventually they laid out the divorce letters. And you know what?” Louis stifled a laugh, completely without humor. “You were wrong. The main reason for their divorce was because of their differences. Mum totally accepted that I liked boys, and well, that pretty much explains itself. They realised they disagreed on lots of things, and that ended their marriage. So yeah, my fault.”

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Louis immediately began talking again, as if he knew Harry was going to try to convince him otherwise.

“The custody had me and my sisters, Daisy and Phoebe, living with my mum. This was my mum’s second marriage and so Georgia was my dad’s daughter my stepsister. My dad would have had to take her and my other two sisters, Lottie and Felicite. I… I couldn’t let that happen.” The look on Louis’ face and the sudden shakiness in his voice made it obvious that he was on the verge of tears. “I didn’t want to risk getting in trouble for it, so instead of getting a gun like most people would have done, I poisoned him. The next morning…” Louis was blinking back tears now, and when Harry had set his hand over his shoulder, that was when Louis finally broke.

Sobbing now, Louis struggled to continue, “T-the next morning… my mum found him… dead. She was…” he paused, his sobs muffling his words. “She was crying. She was fucking crying. Even though she hated him as much as I did, she was still upset. My sisters… their reactions made me feel the worst. I want to say I regret killing him, but… in a way, I’m glad I did. I couldn’t see my sisters in the hands of that narrow-minded bastard.” He threw his head into his heads, and cried out between muffled sobs. “I’m so-fucking-messed up-!”

Harry wasn’t going to lie. That was seriously messed up, even if he had good reason. Surely Louis could have handled the situation differently. But even thinking that, everybody made mistakes, and now was a good time out of any to forget about it and move on. “Did… anybody find out?”

Louis shook his head, his words barely audible. “Y-you’re the first person I’ve t-told.”

“No, I mean… Did anybody know how he died?”

“My mum assumed it was from overdrinking.” Louis sniffed, his voice less shakier than before. “But frankly she was too upset for his death to really consider the possibilities. Nobody found out and even though it relieved me of punishment, it didn’t make me feel any better. I still feel guilty, even to this day.”

“Come here,” Harry gestured for Louis to move up next to him, and when he did, Harry enclosed him into a hug, the best he could ever give someone in pain. He rubbed small circles on Louis’ back, as if trying to ease the pain. “I’m horrible with words, but… what I’m saying is even though you had every right to stop your dad from taking your sisters away from you, what you did was still wrong.”

Louis pulled away immediately, a hateful expression on his face. “Fuck off, Harry. Like I don’t know that.”

“I wasn’t finished.” Harry’s face flushed at his words, making it harder on him to find the words to say. “Even though you might have made a wrong choice, there’s nothing stopping you from moving on. Everybody has made wrong decisions in the past, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make the right ones now. Hell, we’re in the Hunger Games, and I don’t know about you, but that looks like a second chance to me.”

“How?” Louis began playing with his hands again. “I can’t even consider killing another human. And for a game. That has to be worse than what I did, right?”

“We’re doing it to survive, but I suppose what we’re doing isn’t very moral either, having to end innocent lives and all. But hey, not our choice, remember?” Realising he was going off track and his point had gone nowhere, he brought the real issue back. “I understand that this is still bothering you and how hard it is to move on, but you have to say that you’ll at least try. Promise me you’ll try.”

“But-” Louis started to argue, then sighed, dropping it. “Fine. I promise.”

“Good.” He smiled slightly at Louis who was smiling back, looking a lot less than he had minutes earlier. Harry still had trouble figuring out Louis’ personality. There were just so many different sides to it. He could be so frivolous and enthusiastic at times and then there were times like this where he was the polar opposite. It was so unique and fascinating to Harry.

Louis broke the eye contact and looked back down on the grass. “So… since you asked me a question, do I get to ask you something now?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Why do you keep avoiding me?”

His question had caught Harry so off guard that he had no idea what to say. He couldn’t tell him that he might actually have feelings for this boy, because he’d most likely scare him away. Although since Louis was gay, there was also the chance that he felt the same way, but that was unlikely. There was no way he could find out. “It’s complicated,” Harry began as he thought up an excuse. “I’m trying not to be as close to everyone since… the Hunger Games and all, you know?” That wasn’t a lie. That had been the main reason he had been avoiding Louis. It wasn’t the whole truth either though.

A smirk played on Louis’ lips, which made Harry frown. He was so sure Louis would find confusion in his words or feel hurt by them. “What happened to living life to its fullest? You know, all that inspirational shit.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Harry, answer my question,” Louis demanded, looking absolutely serious now. Harry knew what he was doing, using his own words against him. “Do you honestly want to hide from everyone, or do you want to enjoy what’s left?”

“Louis…”

“Answer the question.”

“I suppose I want to enjoy what’s left,” Harry responded, though he was still unsure about his answer.

“Okay.” Louis’ voice was pitched higher than usual, as if it was his way of showing he was satisfied with Harry’s answer. “I should probably head back now then.” He started to get up then looked back down at Harry, his blue eyes piercing deep into Harry. “By the way, let me know if wanna talk about why you were upset earlier.” Louis leaned down, their faces close in proximity, causing Harry’s breathing to get shallow. “Don’t think I didn’t notice.” Louis’ face grew closer, a smile getting to show on his face. Harry had closed his eyes, anxious with the realisation that Louis was going to kiss him. He had never kissed a boy before, he had no idea what it would feel like. Harry suddenly felt Louis’ lips on his, brushing them for a brief moment, but before he could really grasp what was going on, Louis pulled away, an amused grin on his face, as he stood up from the ground. “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Wait!” Harry found himself running back to Louis, unsatisfied with whatever had happened.

Louis looked up at him, a cheesy smirk on his face, as if he knew what Harry was going to say.

Harry tried to avoid eye contact with Louis as he spoke, “Do you want to… stay at my cabin tonight? I’m sure Liam’s at Niall’s.” It was true, Liam and Niall had been spending an odd amount of time together lately. Harry shook out the images of them snogging earlier, and tried to refocus himself on the current situation.

“Who says we’ll need the extra bed?”

That wasn’t at all what Harry had been intending, but Louis’ words sent chills down Harry’s spine, causing his cheeks to burn at the intention of that statement. He was even surprised that Louis had something like that, because he was, well, Louis. He tried to think less dirtier thoughts as they made their way into Harry’s cabin, which was, as expected, empty. Harry’s bed was messy from earlier, and a pair of his underpants oh-so-conveniently lying there. Harry’s blush deepened and he was starting to get sweaty as he tossed the underwear to the ground, hoping Louis hadn’t seen it. They were both standing still, staring off into space, and Harry didn’t know where to go on from there. He really was looking forward to sleeping with Louis again but he didn’t want to make things awkward by asking such a promiscuous question after things had finally been sorted out between them.

Deciding to let things happen by themselves, Harry turned out the lights and threw himself onto his bed. He pulled off his shirt because he was sweating to death and he moved to his side, hoping Louis would catch the hint and come next to him. A few seconds later, he heard the silent sound of Louis removing his shirt, the realisation that they were both shirtless putting him on edge. Louis made himself comfortable on the bed, moving around until he settled next to Harry, close enough that he could feel his presence, even though they weren’t touching.

Harry was far from tired and he couldn’t relax with Louis sitting behind him. Images flashed into his mind and he instantly remembered their kiss, which wasn’t exactly a kiss. More like an almost kiss. He felt goosebumps all over and he wanted more than anything to turn around and look at Louis’ face. Simply look at that handsome face. And so he did.

Louis was expressionless, his eyes doing all the talking for him. He was so much more relaxed than when he had been crying. In fact, if Harry hadn’t been there with him earlier, he would never have guessed that Louis had been crying, which worried him because he didn’t know how often Louis broke down…

“What was bothering you today, Haz?” Harry shivered when Louis used his nickname. It was something only Liam called him and normally it was playful and ridiculous but when Harry had said it, it was like he gave it a new meaning.

“I was thinking about home,” he told Louis with complete honesty. “And I suppose since you told me your divorce story, I’ll tell you mine.” Harry shifted his body so he was laying down flat, his chest exposed to the air, the warmth from Louis’ body relaxing him. “Well there really isn’t much to tell. Basically my dad left my mum for a man, and it’s not that he’s gay, but that he left our family in our time of need.” Louis had a look in his eyes that screamed, ‘I totally understand you’, but even then Harry felt the need to clarify. “The divorce itself wasn’t what got to me today. It was just the realisation that I’ll probably never see him again, and he’ll never know how much I want to… forgive him.” That was the first time Harry admitted that, even to himself. Despite the abandonment, Harry was ready to move on, especially since he had given Louis that advice, and he couldn’t just ignore his own advice.

Louis moved his body closer to Harry, so that his head was now leaning against his shoulder, but still on the pillow. “There’s still a chance you’ll make it, Harry. I honestly think you could actually win.”

“But you deserve to win,” Harry said, firmly, moving his head so it was hitting Louis’. Then he found himself pressing his lips to his forehead, and said in the most colourful words, in the most meaningful way, “I don’t want you to die.”

Louis moved his head away and Harry had shifted to his side, that way they could look at each other. Suddenly, Harry came to the conclusion that he meant what he said. He couldn’t stand to see this boy die. He wasn’t talking sacrificing his life for him to win or anything, but he honestly didn’t want Louis to die. And at that moment, Harry decided he wanted this boy more than he ever thought possible. Louis’ bright blues were practically calling to him and before giving it any other thought, Harry pressed his lips to Louis’, not in a rough or desperate way, but rather, affectionate and full of passion. It took his mind a moment to register that he was kissing Louis but when it did, oh my god Harry was kissing Louis. Unlike the girls Harry had kissed in the past, Louis’ lips weren’t as smooth and soft but that didn’t mean he didn’t like it. There was a new feel to it, almost as if it was something that had been waiting for Harry to experience. This had been much different than kissing girls, and so much better.

Harry was the first to pull away, overwhelmed by how exhilarated he’d felt. A moment later though, he quickly pecked Louis’ lips, afraid that he made him feel rejected by pulling away too eagerly. Louis had moved his hand so it was over Harry’s waist, which caused him to sigh loudly at the new touch, as he moved his head to fit in the crane of Louis’ neck, the smell of his skin causing Harry’s heart race. Louis smelled better than most of the people he knew. The girls he’d been with usually had worn annoying perfume that were much too strong for his taste and, well, Louis was different. He smelled so masculine and different and Harry loved it.

At that moment, everything seemed perfect and Harry didn’t care what he was doing, nor did he want the moment to ever end. He felt so safe in Louis’ arms, since it was the warm embrace they shared that was keeping them safe from the burning world outside.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Harry awoke feeling unusually warm and he hadn’t noticed he was sweating until he pulled himself out of Louis’ arms. He heard Louis groan when he had rolled away from him, and Harry grinned smugly with one glance at Louis. His eyes were closed and he was sleeping deeply, snoring softly. Harry felt a warm feeling developing in his chest and couldn’t help but admit how adorable Louis looked at that moment.

He continued to stare, deciding it was the perfect time since he didn’t have to worry about Louis giving him any strange looks. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off of Louis in general, let alone his beautiful face, but with the realisation that he was shirtless, Harry found his eyes glued to his chest. He was remarkably toned, and Harry was dumbfounded by the fact that he hadn’t noticed this before. His skin had a golden tone and it especially complimented the abs on his chest that went down to his waist. To the sides of him, Louis’ arms, slightly hairy, were also toned as they reached the shoulders, and the whole foundation was just too hot to handle, Harry had to admit.

Harry’s breath hitched when he took a good long look at Louis’ entire being. He couldn’t believe that such a beautiful human being could exist, let alone share a bed with him. It all seemed so surreal, and too good to be true. Harry just wanted to stay in this bed forever, staring at Louis. That would be all it would take to satisfy Harry.

Harry began to drift into endless thoughts involving Louis, his fantasies starting to take on a new form. He remembered the previous night, the fact that he had kissed Louis, and how wonderful it had felt. He couldn’t get over how perfect it had been, the way his lips felt against Louis’ was astonishing. Before he even took to consideration the images in his head, he was already picturing himself snogging intensely with Louis, until things grew heated and they were undressing themselves whilst the kissing continued. His imagination was so vivid that he could even feel Louis’ fingertips as they brushed against his skin as he pulled Harry’s Topman underpants off. It was getting hot and Harry could feel himself getting hard with frustration, and before his thoughts could go elsewhere, Louis had rolled over to the side of the bed away from Harry.

Harry felt a little rejected, but the feeling quickly passed when he decided to be brave and move closer to Louis, carefully wrapping his arms around him, leaning into his side. He silently hoped Louis acknowledged his gesture, though that was unlikely since he was asleep. But since he hadn’t moved away, Harry was still feeling courageous, and with that bravery, he quickly pecked Louis on the cheek, smiling to himself in accomplishment. It was to his surprise that Louis had turned to the other side, facing Harry again, and threw his arms over Harry, causing him to blush furiously.

Their closeness was now a little awkward, not that Harry didn’t like it, but the fact that they both probably didn’t have the freshest breath and Harry was still a bit sweaty, made it harder for Harry to enjoy the other boy’s company.

He pulled himself out of Louis’ grasp and rolled over to the other side of the bed, then stood up, taking a brief glance at the bed next to him, which was just as empty as it had been the night before. To come to think of it, Liam was hardly in here anymore. And when Harry really thought about it, he hadn’t spoken much with him in days.

That thought sent other realisations into his mind like bricks falling on top of his bed. He knew once again he was only making it harder for himself knowing he still had to kill this boy, and at the same time, he didn’t care. For now, he simply wanted to be with this boy, and appreciate the time they had left. Maybe this was just his hormones talking, though this was the first time they were really controlling him, and surely this feeling had to pass sometime, sine he had fallen fast; regardless, Harry knew that for the time being, he only wanted Louis.

“Good morning.” Harry heard Louis say from behind him.

“Morning,” Harry said back, turning to see Louis getting up from the bed, yawning in a way that was too cute for words. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like a baby,” Louis grinned and Harry couldn’t resist returning the smile. “Today’s the assessment.”

Harry groaned, throwing himself back into his bed. “This is going to suck.”

Louis sat on the edge of the bed, setting his hand onto Harry’s forehead, and proceeded to play with his hair. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“I don’t even know what we’re supposed to do.”

“I think we just pick what we’re best at and try to wow the Gamemakers with it,” Louis explained, shrugging. “It doesn’t seem like it should be any difficult than that.”

Harry gave it some thought, feeling downright relaxed with Louis’ fingertips brushing against the top of his head, tracing along his hairline. Harry was best at throwing knives at this point since his primary focus had been to improve with that. He supposed he could impress the judges with that.

“You know,” Louis began after he had finished stretching his arms. “We’re training independently all day until the assessment. We should… I mean, if you want- we could maybe… train together?”

Harry couldn’t resist the urge to smirk at Louis, since the way he had asked made Harry want to shake his head disapprovingly. “I don’t see why you still sound so nervous around me.” He stood up from lying down and moved to the edge of his bed, sitting next to Louis. While he was at it, he set his arm over Louis’ shoulders. “I mean, we’re friends now, aren’t we?”

Of course, Harry obviously felt the connection they shared went way past a typical friendship, but staying on the safe side might be the best decision, considering it was unlikely the feeling was mutual.

Harry heard Louis sigh, and immediately knew he had made him uncomfortable. Did that mean Louis didn’t even think of Harry as a friend? Harry felt stupid and rejected, surprised that after all they’d been through Louis couldn’t even consider Harry a friend, but he was even more surprised that he was able to get all that from one little gesture.

“Of course.” Louis pulled Harry into a friendly hug and Harry’s mood automatically went back to the way it was when he was with Louis, blissfully happy. He found it incredulous how someone could make him this happy. Harry couldn’t even remember a time he had ever been as happy as he was now. It was a bit ironic, since this was the Hunger Games.

Louis and Harry both jumped at the sound of the door flinging open, Liam standing awkwardly in the doorway. Harry’s eyes went from Louis then to Liam, feeling awkward with the position he was in. He moved himself off of the bed, throwing a shirt on, then looked at Liam, trying to look normal.

“I need to talk to you,” Liam broke the silence, taking the words right out of Harry’s mouth. His eyes reverted back to Louis as a hint for him to leave them alone, and Louis understood right away, nodding his head as he left the cabin, mouthing a goodbye to Harry.

Liam closed the door behind him and leaned his body against it, sighing deeply. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he even said anything, Harry already knew what this was about.

“If this is about Niall, I think you should know how obvious you are.” The way Harry had said it was so blunt and comfortable, it reminded him how easy it was to talk to Liam.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” A blush appeared on Liam’s face and Harry could tell he was struggling to contain it. “Is it really that obvious?”

Harry nodded. “Especially when you choose to snog outside my cabin.”

Liam crossed his arms, his eyes wandering the room until they met Harry’s. “Okay, fine. We like each other. Is there something wrong with that?”

“No, not at all,” Harry responded quickly, not wanting to give his friend the wrong idea. “I actually approve, and I apologise greatly that I haven’t been there for you lately.”

“I should be the one apologising here. I don’t even sleep in here anymore and it sucks that we don’t talk much anymore, but-it’s just…” Liam was beginning to choke p and it became obvious that was he was going to say wasn’t going to be so pretty. “It’s the Hunger Games. We obviously don’t have a lot of time left together and chances are neither of us are going to make it, so we might as well live each moment like it’s our last, you know?”

As much as he wanted to argue with Liam and tell him to stop with his talk about dying, he resisted knowing that it wouldn’t help with anything. Regardless, it was difficult to keep himself from freaking out in that moment. Harry knew in his heart couldn’t live without his best friend. He couldn’t imagine his life without him. He didn’t want – couldn’t stand – to lose him, especially now when he needed him the most.

Harry finally forced himself to speak. “I totally understand. That’s exactly what I’m doing here.”

It seemed that Liam caught on right away. “If you don’t mind me saying, you and Louis have been very close lately.” Harry began to fumble with his fingers with uneasiness, knowing he had been referring to walking in on them this morning. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“We’re just friends.”

“Oh, really?” Liam raised an eyebrow. “So it’s perfectly okay for two friends to sleep in the same bed while shirtless.” He scoffed, crossing his arms. “Okay, Harry.”

“Maybe I do… fancy him a little,” Harry forced himself to admit. “It’s not going to go anywhere though.”

“Are you kidding me? I see the way he looks at you, Harry.”

“The way he looks at me?” Harry frowned, wishing that was true. Sure, Louis looked at him, but Harry didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps that was due to the reason Harry felt lost every time he stared into those pools of blue.

“You’re really that oblivious?” Liam shook his head in disapproval. “I’m telling you, Haz, this boy fancies you.”

“I doubt it… Besides, it’s not like it can go anywhere. We have, what, a week, if not less, until the Games begin, and it’s already hard enough considering I’m going to have to kill Louis. I don’t want to get attached or anything.”

“But aren’t you already dying inside?” Liam asked with a sigh. “I know it’s killing you. Take it from me. I’m practically in the same situation as you.”

“I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore, Li. All I know is I don’t want to kill him and I know it’s crazy, I’ve only known him for like a week, but I can’t help but want to be by his side all the time, and I just…” Harry pushed his curls back. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“I honestly can’t help you there.” Liam smirked. “It’s not like I’m totally sure of what I’m doing either. All I know is, I don’t want to waste what I have left of my life. We can die at any given moment, granted being here makes us more aware of it, but really, how is this any different than being outside of the Hunger Games? What I’m saying is… if you feel right when you’re around Louis, then why question it? Enjoy what you have while you still have it.”

“Alright.” Harry decided Liam was right. Why should be bother overanalysing this anyway? They didn’t have much time left. If Harry was going to die, he might as well die knowing he’d lived a long-lived life, even though that wasn’t the case. Although he did have his family, an amazing best friend, and maybe a possible lover. He blushed at the thought, now full of excitement to see Louis, but a bit nervous as to what he would say or do. Harry had never confessed his feelings before. Usually girls got onto him first and he either causally accepted or rejected their feelings like it was nothing. This was different. Harry really had feelings for this boy, and if Louis didn’t feel the same way, then what?

“Harry?”

Harry shook his head out of his thoughts to look at Liam, who looked concerned.

“What’s wrong now?”

“It’s just… I don’t know how to…” Harry searched for the right words. “How do I tell him how I feel?”

“That’s up to you. You can be blunt about it, or you could even show it. It’s different with everyone,” Liam suggested.

“But what if he-”

Liam cut him off, irritation in his voice. “Louis is falling head over heels for you, Harry. I know you don’t see it, but when you’re not around, he’s always so reserved and quiet. When he talks to me, he’s always asking about you because he wants to know more about you but he’s too shy to ask you himself. And when you spent all that time avoiding him, Louis came crying to me about it because he truly thought you hated him.”

“He thought I hated him?” Harry raised his eyebrows, the pitch of his voice rising with every word.

“He didn’t see another other reason you’d be avoiding him, and frankly, I was a bit angry with you for doing that to him.” Surprisingly, Liam didn’t sound angry at that moment. “I hope you made it up to him though.”

Harry did explain to Louis why he had been avoiding him, though he didn’t really get into the specifics. Louis had been happier since last night, so perhaps he had gotten over it. Even then, Harry still felt guilty that he had made Louis cry.

“Louis really cares about you, Harry.” Liam changed the subject. “I don’t know if he’s done anything to show you that, but I can tell he really does care about you. And I know you care about him too.”

“I do.” It was true. Regardless of the horrible things Louis had done in the past, Harry did still care about him. After all, that had been in the past, and Louis was different now. Louis wasn’t a killer. He was human, impulsive and driven to react by his emotions. And sometimes, bad things simply had to happen in order to grow from the experiences. He honestly couldn’t blame Louis for something that happened in the past. Besides, the way Louis was affected by his past was incredible, and it sickened Harry to see Louis so upset.

“And if that’s not enough to convince you that Louis feels the same way, take the risk anyway. So what if for some odd reason Louis doesn’t feel the same way? What have you got to lose?”

Harry didn’t even have to give it much thought because he really had nothing to lose. His lips crept into a smile, suddenly feeling a lot better now that Liam was on his side. He couldn’t help himself when he pulled Liam into a hug. “Thanks for everything, Liam.”

“No problem. Now go get him, tiger.”

“Don’t say that.” Harry scrunched his nose in disgust. “It’s weird.”

“Just go!” Liam opened the door for Harry, patting him on the back.

Harry left the cabin smiling, and feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The sun was shining and it really made Harry think of the simple things that he still had. He wouldn’t let himself dwell on anything anymore for the next few days. He wanted to enjoy himself, and that’s what he would do.

He walked into the dining hall filled with anticipation. Though talking to Liam had calmed his nerves, he was still nervous, but still reluctant, to tell Louis. He had to tell him now, while he still had the motivation. Besides, the sooner, the better. He began to head to their usual table, thinking of Louis’ perfect face and how beautiful he looked when he smiled. The butterflies in his stomach had disappeared when he caught sight of two boys kissing in the back of the cafeteria, and it had taken him a second to realise that one of them was Louis.

Harry, now beaming with tension, practically flew to the other side of the cafeteria, pushing everybody who got in his way. Now that he had a closer look, he could see that the other boy was Peeta. Harry was going to kill that motherfucker for ever touching his Louis.

“What the fuck,” Harry spouted out when he reached them. Louis had pulled away from the kiss first, a look of surprise on his face.

He continued to back away from Peeta. “Harry, it’s not what it-”

“Oh, really?” He was clenching his fists now, ready to throw a punch at Peeta, but it came to him that he didn’t know who had started the kiss, and violence probably wasn’t the best way to go. His eyes found the food laying on the table next to him and his first reaction was to knock it to the ground, and he did it so forcefully that he ended up pushing Peeta to the ground as well. His eyes were now stinging with the tears that had begun to form and he had pressed his hand against his forehead in an attempt to calm down. His eyes found Louis’ but he forced himself to look away. He was about to walk away but felt Louis’ hand pull him back.

“Harry, wait!”

Louis’ voice was filled with desperation and he sounded so upset that Harry almost gave in, but had to remember that Louis had been the one at fault here. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Harry pushed Louis away, then continued to assert his way out of the cafeteria, fighting tears along the way.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Harry jumped into his bed, pulling the covers over his head, as he proceeded to sob uncontrollably. How could Louis do that to him? More importantly, why? Looks like Liam was wrong. Louis didn’t like him like that at all. Maybe it seemed like he did, or maybe Liam was just trying to boost Louis’ confidence by saying he did, but all along, it was obvious Louis wanted nothing to do with Harry. He didn’t even want his friendship. He just wanted to mess with Harry’s emotions by getting his hopes up and shooting them down. He never wanted Harry. It was clear he’d had his eyes on Peeta the whole time.

Harry wanted to hate Louis for doing this to him. He wanted to be an arsehole and completely go at him with all his anger, even to the point where he’d bash him for his past, just to show Louis how it felt to be led on.But at the same time, Harry desperately wanted to smooth this over. He wanted to forget it ever happened, that Louis liked him back, that everything would be okay. But he knew with the aching pain in his heart that nothing was the same. At least now it would be easier to kill Louis, and if he still found he couldn’t do it, why not kill himself and get it over with. Louis had already made him feel the worst he had in years. Why make it worse by continuing to live?

Harry forced away his suicidal thoughts, and threw another pillow over his ears, bringing his knees closer to himself, tangling himself in the sheets, as if desperate to stay hidden from the world. He’d thought he’d felt alone just yesterday, and that made him want to laugh because that was nothing compared to how abandoned he felt now. He tried to assure himself that he still had people on his side. He had Gemma, his mother, Liam, even his father, despite the doubts Harry had about him.

Maybe Harry had been ridiculous about this whole thing. Hell, ridiculous didn’t even cover how stupid Harry had been acting. Thinking that he actually could get what we wanted for once in his life? As if. Harry should have seen this coming. But what did Louis see in Peeta anyway? Never had Harry even seen him talk to the boy, and now, out of nowhere, they were snogging in the fucking cafeteria. At least they had the decency to do it in public where they could be caught. Harry felt the knot thicken in his throat, more tears slipping down in his face, as he recalled what had happened. He just couldn’t picture Louis’ lips on anyone but Harry. The image was too frightening and the fact that he had actually witnessed it made him want to curl up and die.

He reached that point where he was shaking once he recalled the previous night and how close he had been to Louis. They had kissed for Christ’s sake! Harry could still feel Louis’ fingertips as he pushed back his curls, and then the warm sensation when his arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, his hot breath hitting his neck, causing him to shudder. Harry could remember every detail, and it was too painful to think about that Harry forced his eyes shut, wanting to fall asleep and stop thinking once and for all. Sadly, sleep wasn’t an option for Harry and it finally came to Harry’s senses that he needed to train if he wanted to get somewhere today. But that was the thing. At this point, Harry truly didn’t give a fuck what happened to him. He didn’t even care anymore if he died during the Games, let alone if he did well on this assessment.

However, as much as Harry wanted to stay here for the rest of the day and wallow in his misery, training might get his mind off of things. With that decision, he used his remaining motivation, which wasn’t much, to head to his regular setting, to practice throwing knives. At this point, Harry was sure he’d impress the judges with this. If it was one thing Harry was good at not screwing up, it was throwing knives. Surely he couldn’t do horrible today.

He threw a total of ten knives at the dartboards, releasing all his anger with every shot. He even started to feel a little better, until Louis’ face crossed his mind, and he felt just as horrible as he had when he started. Harry gave up on training after what had felt like forever, and decided to lay in the grass miserably until the buzzer rang to begin the assessing.

Since they were going in district order, Harry was unsure of when he would go. He wasn’t sure if the Capitol was considered first or last, and frankly, Harry didn’t care. If he went first, he could get it over with. If he went last, he could spend the waiting time cooling down and preparing himself. It turned out the Capitol would go first, and since it was also going by alphabetical order, Liam went first.

Harry felt tension, many mixed emotions stirring up inside him. He couldn’t help but glance across the room at Louis who was sitting next to his ex-girlfriend Danielle, with Niall to the right of him. As painful as it was for Harry to look at him, Louis seemed to be just as uneasy as Harry. He was being unnaturally quiet and Harry figured he only felt guilty for what had happened earlier, but only because he wanted to spare Harry’s feelings, nothing more. The uneasiness was building up as Harry waited for his turn. He was worried that something would go wrong. That he would mess up and the judges would start laughing. The last thing he wanted was to get a bad score. Although perhaps getting a bad score would manipulate others to thinking he was truly bad, and when the Games would begin, Harry would be the best and everyone would have underestimated him. Harry knew that was foolish thinking on his part, but a little confidence never hurt anyone.

When Harry’s name was called, he was hesitant to get up, all eyes on him as he made his way to the Training Centre, the main area where training took place. There looked to be about ten Gamemakers sitting in the small building next to the field, which was made up entirely of glass, probably for safety purposes and so that viewing was possible.

He decided he might as well address himself. “Harry Styles. Capitol.” He waited until he got the judges’ attention, then walked over to the end of the field, retrieving a small bag filled with several knives. He stood about twenty feet away from the dartboard, wanting to look extra impressive, and pulled out the first knife. He held it behind his head, and flung it at the dartboard, so very close to the target. Harry didn’t let it get to him when he grabbed the second knife. This time it did hit the target. Carrying two knives now, he shot the first one, followed by the second when another dartboard moved in place of the previous one. Perfect targets. For his last shot, he decided to go crazy and shoot two knives at once, at one dartboard. Feeling a bit unsure about himself since he’d only attempted this once, he decided to take the chance. Harry brought both knives behind his head, the way he’d been taught, and released, both of the knives hitting the dartboard, but only one of them reaching the center, the other one close to the edge of the board.

He looked back at the Gamemakers, who appeared to be scribbling something into a notebook. When one of them shot him an approving look that he was dismissed, Harry returned back to his quarters, feeling relieved that that was done and over with.

It was during dinner that the results were announced. Louis was sitting across from Harry, which made the entire atmosphere uncomfortable, but everyone was too into the anticipation to really notice it. There was a hologram that appeared in the front of the cafeteria, where a Gamemaker was reading the results out loud. “Liam Payne… Ten.”

“Good job, Liam!” Niall wrapped his arms around Liam in excitement, while the rest of the boys shushed him since Harry was next.

“Harry Styles…” Harry prayed he didn’t do too bad. At least a nine would satisfy him. He didn’t want to look bad in front of everyone, especially Louis. “Eleven.”

Liam cheered and began nuzzling Harry, and Harry smiled slightly at Liam’s gesture, and struggled to get out of his grasp. An eleven, huh? The point system went from one to twelve, with one being the worst. Harry hadn’t done bad at all.

The boys didn’t really pay much attention to the rest of the tributes, until they had reached District 7. Danielle had gotten a ten, which secretly made Harry feel accomplished knowing he’d done between than the girl who had originally been better at throwing knives.

“Louis Tomlinson…” Harry felt his heart sink when he heard the name being called. He wasn’t sure if it was only him that had felt the silence, which had been longer than the other tributes, or if it was there on purpose. “Twelve.” The entire cafeteria was filled with gasps as all eyes found Louis. If Harry’s heart wasn’t aching before, it was now. He swore his mouth had dropped in bewilderment that Louis had gotten a perfect score. How was that fucking possible? Louis had even said that Harry had a better chance than him. Of course, that had probably also been a lie along with the other things. If it weren’t for the other boys’ sake, Harry would have stormed out of there in that moment. Starting a riot wouldn’t probably be the best idea at that point, since Louis was now the best tribute in the cafeteria. It would be best not to get on his bad side, if he wasn’t already. Harry honestly didn’t care what happened from that point.

Zayn had gotten a nine, Niall a ten. Overall, all the boys had done exceptionally well. Harry had barely taken a bite out of his dinner, and he didn’t want to start a riot, so he stayed sitting until everyone else began to leave the dining hall. When he left, he tried to make it look natural, like he wasn’t upset. He decided on showering, since hadn’t done so this morning. Maybe a shower would even help him feel better.

Harry returned from his shower feeling cleaner, but not any better than before. He headed into his cabin, already suspecting that Liam wouldn’t be inside. With any luck, he would be alone to drown in his thoughts tonight. When he swung the door open, he half expected Louis to be sitting on his bed, ready to apologise. But when the lights revealed absolute emptiness, Harry felt heart-wrenching disappointment.

Harry was forcing himself to cry when he had tangled himself in his covers, but nothing would come, just whimpers. It was as if the wound had gotten too deep at this point that he physically couldn’t make himself cry. The wound was still fresh, however. With any thought of Louis, he could feel his heart breaking. He strengthened his grip on his pillow, as if clinging onto it for dear life. The pillow even had Louis’ smell on it, which hurt Harry all the more. He sighed loudly, his breath shaky and panicked. He wished he were at home, where his mum could tuck him in and sing him lullabies to help him fall asleep. He wished he had his iPod with him, he could do with some music. Harry knew in his heart that none of that was even comparable to being in Louis’ arms, and that thought broke him all the more.

He rolled over to his side, trying to shut his mind off, desperately wanting to just fall asleep already. He wished Liam would at least spend tonight here with him. Talking to him today made him feel a lot better, and right now, Harry could use a little bit of comfort, despite not wanting to talk to anyone. He sunk his head into his pillow, taking in Louis’ smell, making it harder for himself to get his mind off that boy. He figured he wanted to make himself suffer. It was far too easy to let this go by without punishment. Harry spent the next twenty minutes or so sulking, dwelling on every godforsaken thought possible in his mind, and pretty soon he was starting to grow tired of the repeated thoughts. His eyes had barely closed when he swore he heard tapping on his door.

Harry groaned, pulling himself out of his bed, irritated with the timing. The clock on his nightstand told him it was nearly two in the morning. What could anyone want with him at this time of night?

When he opened the door at first, nobody was there. Angrily shutting the door, a hand suddenly got in the way, and it took Harry’s mind barely a second to register that Louis was not only standing there, but had cuts and bruises covering his face.

“Who did this to you?” Harry reacted quickly by pulling Louis inside his cabin, turning on the lights, the sudden brightness burning his eyes.

Harry sat down next to Louis on Liam’s bed, pressing a hand to his face, evaluating what had happened. Cuts were scattered on his face and he had a black eye. Overall, it didn’t look too bad, but it still worried Harry to death that Louis was hurt.

“Louis,” Harry raised his voice. “Who did this to you?”

Louis pushed back his hair which was a greasy mess. Harry noticed Louis was also quite sweaty. Had there been a fight?

Harry was about to ask again, but Louis finally made eye contact with him. “Peeta.”

“Oh God…” Harry trailed off, now completely awake from his sleepy haze. Harry must have pissed Peeta off by pushing him down that he decided to use Louis as an outlet, and that was how Louis’ condition came to be. “This is all my fault.”

“No it’s not,” Louis argued. Harry was surprised, remembering how upset he still was, astonished that Louis was defending him. Louis let out a sigh. “I initiated the fight.”

“And what about the kiss? Did you initiate that too?” Harry blurted, forgetting the real issue here.

“No.”

“No?” Harry stood up from the bed, wanting to laugh. “No? Then what was that all about, Louis? I saw everything. You can’t lie to me.”

“Why do you care so much anyway?”

Harry softened a bit, Louis’ sudden words getting to him. “W-what do you mean?”

“Honestly, Harry,” Louis began to pace around the room, which was quite odd to see considering he was injured. “Why should it matter to you who I’m with?”

“Because…” Harry began then trailed off. No, he was not going to admit his feelings. Not now. Not like this. “I just… I didn’t want to see you get hurt. Peeta is dangerous, you should’ve known that from the beginning when you watched him fight with Cato.”

“You don’t think I don’t know that?” Louis shouted back. “I don’t even like the guy, for Christ’s sake! I didn’t kiss him. He kissed me! Okay?”

Louis’ words hadn’t even registered into Harry’s mind when he began to yell back, “How does that explain anything?” Then the words sunk in. “Oh.” Harry didn’t know what to say now. He felt bad for yelling at Louis. And he was still left with confusion, wondering whether Louis was really telling the truth or not. He decided to change the subject after glancing at Louis’ wounds. “I’ll get some ice.”

“Harry, it’s two in the morning.”

“I don’t care.” Harry disappeared from the cabin, and it came to him once he began to walk around that he had no idea what his intentions were. Where would he find ice anyway? The dining hall? Surely that had to be closed by now. Was there even a first aid kit nearby? Of course not! This was a survival camp. Why would they bother with the luxuries?

“So that was pointless.” Harry closed the door behind him, leaning against it, crossing his arms, completely frazzled on what to do with Louis.

“I think I’ll be fine. It doesn’t even hurt that much.” Louis pressed his hand to his forehead, then winced, obviously lying that he was very much in pain. Without thinking, Harry carefully wrapped his arms around Louis, causing Louis to flinch. The next moment Harry found himself pulling Louis’ shirt off curiously, revealing a couple of bruises on his chest.

“I swear,” Harry clenched his teeth, eyeing the injuries carefully. “If that bastard even comes within ten feet of you, I’m beating the shit out of him.”

“It was just a kiss.”

Harry had been referring to the fight… Why had Louis brought that up again? “I don’t think you understand how much trouble one little kiss has caused…” Harry began, averting his eyes away from Louis. “For starters, look at you. You’re a mess.”

“Yeah, and I’m the one at fault there. I had nothing to do with the kiss, trust me.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand, forcing him to look at him, causing Harry to get lost in the familiar blue eyes, having realised how much he missed them, even though Louis and Harry hadn’t been apart for long. All of a sudden, Louis’ lips were on Harry’s right cheek, pecking it softly. “You just happened to walk in at a bad time. If you’d walked in later, you’d probably see me kicking him off of me, or if you’d came earlier, you’d know I never wanted it to happen.” Louis tightened his grip on Harry’s hand. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I never wanted any of this to happen.”

Harry couldn’t resist the softness in Louis’ voice, and hell, he sounded very forgiving. Harry almost wanted to cry. He’d never been spoken to this way before. Ever. Not after the divorce, not when he was upset about his life… never. If Louis was putting effort into apologising to Harry, whether he actually meant it or not, that was good enough for him. He suddenly felt a million times better and couldn’t stop himself from throwing himself onto Louis, accidentally too aggressively, causing Louis to grunt in pain. Harry apologised quickly, loosening up, and then Louis whispered in his ear, “I missed you.”

Oh, you have no idea, Harry thought to himself. Then he realised now was the best time to confess than any. He might never get the chance again. Harry looked down then back up at Louis. “I… Can I say something?”

“Of course.”

“I…” Harry was totally set on confessing, but when he looked into Louis’ eyes, his beautiful ocean-blue eyes, he lost every thought he had. His heart now racing, he didn’t know what to say, so he gave up on that idea. “I missed you too.”

Harry bit down on his lip nervously, watching as Louis looked down, and he could have sworn he was grinning. When his eyes found Harry’s again, Louis looked absolutely serious as if he knew what Harry had been wanting to say to him all this time. He moved into the covers of the bed, patting his hand next to him. “Come here.”

Harry confidently laid himself down next to Louis after turning off the lights, pulling himself closer to Louis. He heard Louis moan in pain, and backed away quickly. “Sorry…”

“Shut the fuck up, Harry. I’m the one apologising tonight.” Louis’ words had caught Harry off guard but made him smile sheepishly as he brought himself into Louis’ arms. Louis had turned his head to face him, and slowly but surely, was moving his face closer to Harry’s, until their lips brushed. Harry expected Louis to be the dirty tease he was and pull away at that moment, but was shocked when Louis continued to move his lips against Harry’s, and before Harry knew what he doing, he was kissing him back. The kiss reeked of desperation and desire, unlike the last one which was full of passion, but Harry couldn’t help himself, he had missed Louis’ kisses. Harry was about out of breath, and Louis’ breathing was also getting heavier, but that didn’t stop them from the next moment when Harry felt Louis’ tongue enter his mouth. The kiss now growing more intense, Harry couldn’t stop himself from kissing down in chin, tracing his lips against his collarbone, and moving down to his neck, where he nibbled graciously, leaving a small, but noticeable pink mark. Harry grinned, feeling a bit satisfied knowing that it was a little way of claiming Louis as his own, and he hoped Louis saw it that way too. They had continued to kiss for a short amount of time until Harry finally pulled away, suggesting that it’d be best if they went to sleep soon, considering the time.

Harry felt so grateful to have Louis in that moment that he didn’t dare move away from him, not wanting any open space between them. He found it hard to believe how he had just been miserable and wanting Louis in his bed with him, and now here he was, holding him, with a fresh lovebite on his neck. The moment he closed his eyes he could’ve sworn he heard Louis mutter something under his breath, but Harry’s mind had already shut down.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Whimpers were the reason for Harry’s sudden awakening from a peaceful slumber. His eyes had sprung open, immediately finding Louis sprawled up against him, every part of his body shaking. Harry turned Louis so he was laying on his back, and he noticed that Louis’ eyes were closed, but he was having difficulty breathing and was continuing to shake. Harry wrapped his arms around the boy in an attempt to comfort him, until he shook him awake to save him from the nightmare.

The moment Louis awakened, the shaking and whimpering had come to a complete stop. Louis rubbed his eyes, stifling a yawn. He had a blank look on his face but immediately smiled when his eyes found Harry. “Hey.”

Harry looked at Louis with concern. “Are you okay? You seemed a bit shaken up there.”

“I’m fine. It was just a nightmare.”

“What was it about?”

“It’s just the same one every time.” Louis shrugged. “A recurring dream, if you will.”

Harry wanted to further question him, but he didn’t want to seem so nosy. He was absolutely curious as to what was lurking in Louis’ sub-conscience, and he had a feeling it had something to do with his past, but he didn’t dare to ask.

He looked down at himself, noticing that he was shirtless. Harry could’ve sworn he was wearing a shirt when he had fallen asleep… Had something happened last night that Harry wasn’t aware of? Images flashed in his head and he felt his face burn as he eyed the lovebite on Louis’ neck, recalling the events of last night. He also remembered that Louis and him had practically made up, and that made him feel happy when he remembered also being depressed over their fight yesterday. He also remembered the assessment and that he had gotten an eleven, Louis a twelve. Harry even started to feel bad that he hadn’t said anything to Louis about his achievement yet.

“Oh, good job getting a perfect score yesterday, by the way,” Harry congratulated him with a grin.

Surprisingly, Louis was being quite modest about it. “I’m surprised I actually did that well. I’m actually more surprised I did better than you, I mean… you’ve been training longer than I have and you’re obviously better with knives-”

Harry cut him off, Louis’ flattery making Harry a bit upset that Louis wasn’t acting too confident about it. “Gamemakers never lie, Lou. You’re obviously better than me, don’t deny it.”

Louis shrugged, his eyes meeting Harry’s as he rolled to his side. “Maybe better when it comes to the Hunger Games.”

Harry cocked an eyebrow in confusion. What was Louis trying to say?

“You’re a better person than me,” Louis clarified and immediately Harry felt his body sinking into the bed, in utter shock at how spontaneous that had been.

“That’s not true… Just because you’ve done something bad, that doesn’t make you a bad person,” Harry assured Louis, looking him dead in the eyes. “Besides, how do you know I haven’t done any wrong in the past?” That was a good point and made Harry realise that he knew more about Louis than Louis knew about him. That definitely needed to change.

Louis sat up on the bed, crossing his arms. “Name one.”

Harry turned his eyes away from Louis, staring up at the ceiling, trying to think of something that would convince Louis that he wasn’t as perfect as he seemed, which made him unsure if it was a good idea or not. He figured it was best if Louis knew him the way he was rather than the idea of perfect he seemed to have.

“There was this one time I stole bread from the bakery,” Harry began to explain, hoping this story would do the job. “I used to work there and one day, it was one of those times when there was food shortage, and I figured… I was already there and starving and, well, it was all in the spur of the moment really. Even to this day I don’t regret doing it.” Louis didn’t look too impressed, and that was a sign that Harry needed to think of something better. He decided on another story, completely on a different level of emotion that would touch a weak point with Louis. “When I was about fourteen, there was this boy, his name is irrelevant so I won’t bother mentioning it.” Harry continued, trying not to leave out much detail, “I’d never talked to him before and one day, out of nowhere, he told me he was in love with me. I didn’t… handle it well. Normally when I would reject someone, I would do it as kind as possible, so there were no hurt feelings. Well, this time it was a guy confessing his feelings for me, and it was so unexpected that I pretty much laughed in his face and… I said some harsh things to him here and there. I really hurt him though, and he was such a nice guy. I’ll always regret that.”

Unlike the other story, Louis was actually tuned in and listening, his face now expressionless, and it was obvious that he was trying to avoid looking into Harry’s eyes. Harry immediately wanted to take back what he said, ashamed that he even considered sharing that with Louis, who was indeed gay and now probably felt rejected after hearing that story. That was the last thing Harry had wanted. He only wanted to convince Louis that even he made mistakes, but he’d done more than that. Harry couldn’t stand to look at Louis’ boring expression, and impulsively, he quickly pecked Louis on the lips, hinting that the story had nothing to do with his feelings now.

“See? Even I can be horrible,” Harry admitted with a slight chuckle, and even now Louis was grinning back.

“People can change,” Louis said with a shrug, pressing his lips into a thin line, his eyes wandering around the room, until they made contact with Harry’s. They both smiled simultaneously. “Did you ever forgive him? Your dad?”

“No,” he responded sharply, surprised at the random question. “Like I said, I haven’t seen him since the divorce, and I’ve been upset since… but lately, I feel like I can forgive him, but it’s not like I really have a say in the matter anymore.”

“You don’t know that,” Louis assured him, setting his hand over Harry’s. “So what if I got a perfect score? I still think you have a better chance at winning.”

“Don’t fucking say that.” Harry threw his arms over Louis, pulling him close, in a rather possessive fashion, as if Louis would disappear if he let go.

“Are we honestly having this conversation?” Louis wrapped himself tighter in Harry’s arms, the embrace causing everywhere in Harry’s body to go wild. And if that wasn’t already too much, Louis’ hand had began to trace along the top of Harry’s back, goosebumps growing on his skin. He wanted more, and at that moment, he really thought that Louis felt the same way, so he took the risk and pressed his lips against Louis’, desperate to feel the same intensity that had been there the first time they kissed. The spark was still there and Harry was enjoying himself, until common sense had caught up with him and he finally realised that neither of them had brushed their teeth and right away, the idea of kissing had become unpleasant.

Harry and Louis had gone to breakfast after changing their clothes. They were sipping their tea and laughing at something Zayn had said, when the familiar, and now annoying, buzzer went off, Effie’s voice filling the room. “Good morning, tributes! There will be no training today.” She waited until the cafeteria calmed down, everyone cheering, obviously tired from training all the time. “Interviews will take place tonight in the main hall, and the make-up crew will arrive shortly. This is also a reminder that tomorrow will be the last day before the Hunger Games, so be sure to get plenty of rest!”

Harry’ heart sank as the noise surfaced in the cafeteria. Effie’s words bounced back into his head. Tomorrow will be the last day before the Hunger Games. How was that even possible? He could’ve sworn they had about a week of training left! Had he miscalculated? Or had time simply flown by? Harry immediately felt like crying and turned to look at Louis sitting next to him, looking just as upset as he felt. They only had today and tomorrow and that was it.

Harry noticed that the cafeteria had gone quiet, obviously nobody happy with the news. And to top it all, they had interviews tonight, and who knew if Harry and Louis would even see each other? Anger boiled in Harry’s blood, absolutely pissed off that it was like they were trying to split him and Louis up. Of course something like this would happen. Why should Harry have expected any different? He moved his hands off the table and to his sides, so he could clench his fists furiously, but before he could, he felt Louis slip his fingers into Harry’s, and his anger had disappeared so fast it was as if he was never angry to begin with. He was holding hands. With Louis. He maintained his composure, but on the inside, he was screaming with happiness, which only reminded him of the brutal reality, but he managed to push that away. For now, at least.

There were thirteen groups of stylists, one for every district. Liam and Harry were escorted to Cabin 23, the stylists waiting inside. Harry had waved goodbye to Louis, and it was much to his dismay that he wouldn’t see him until tonight, but he dealt with it.

The stylists had barely muttered a hello at Harry and he was already being dragged onto a stool, getting pampered immediately. It was to his surprise that nobody had asked him what he wanted, they simply did what they thought was best. After about forty-five minutes of what felt like torture for Harry, his face looked brighter than it had in weeks, the makeup covering up the bags under his eyes. They hadn’t done much to his hair, thankfully, other than washing it and fixing the curls. Harry was wrapped up in a towel and another stylist had walked into the room, a man with bright blonde hair with black streaks.

“You’re going to look fabulous tonight.”

Harry followed the stylist to the corner of the cabin, where there were a rack of clothes. The stylist had pulled out clothing so fast, Harry almost thought he had just randomly chosen something for Harry to wear. When the outfit was fitted on and Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror, he had to admit, he looked quite impressive. He was wearing a simple black blazer, with a red folded handkerchief in the pocket over his chest, which was open with a white t-shirt underneath. He was especially fond of the black skinnies, which weren’t too tight, but not too loose either. As for his shoes, he was given pure white sneakers. All in all, it was a simple look, and yet it seemed enough.

Harry had taken longer to finish, probably due to his curly locks, and Liam was already waiting outside for Harry. “Looking spiff, Haz.”

“Nonsense, darling!” Harry said in the most stereotypically gay voice possible and the two of them chuckled to themselves. Liam looked quite spiffy himself. He was also wearing a black blazer, but he had pulled off the professional look. The suit was red, with a white tie, and he was wearing baggy grey skinnies. Liam’s attention immediately went to behind Harry, as if excited about something. And when Harry turned around to see Niall and Zayn standing behind them, he could guess why.

“You look beautiful,” Niall told Liam and Liam smiled, grabbing Niall’s hand. Harry cringed, not because he was disgusted by them, but because he was jealous of how obvious they were, how much they seemed to like each other, and how him and Louis would probably never experience that. He had to admit, Liam and Niall looked good standing next to each other, especially since their clothing had somehow matched. Niall was wearing a button-up black silky shirt, with grey dressy pants, in skinnies form of course. Even Zayn fit in with them, with his grey blazer, a black shirt underneath, and black dressy pants.

Even when surrounded by so many people, Harry couldn’t help but feel alone. His eyes had wandered around the atmosphere, searching for any sign of Louis, until he spotted a figure emerging them, his heart immediately skipping a beat when he identified as Louis. He looked… well, beautiful would be an understatement. He was practically sex on legs. Louis was dressed differently than the rest of them, a more casual look, but it still looked unbelievable. What he was wearing couldn’t even be classified as ordinary. Louis had on a white button-up t-shirt, tightly wrapped around his body, exposing his muscles. Over that he had brown suspenders that clung to his red, skin-tight, skinny jeans. At that moment, Harry was absolutely positive he was drooling.

Louis approached Harry, a grin on his face. His hair was brushed to the side with some falling onto his face, looking the same as usual, except more organized now, and Louis’ golden skin was glowing with the radiation of the sun, and his lips were bright pink, showing white teeth when he smiled, looking absolutely adorable. All in all, Louis looked so amazing that Harry couldn’t find words to describe him and found it difficult to hold himself back from wanting to destroy the living shit out of him, and he meant that sexually, of course.

“You look fantastic, babe,” Louis whispered in Harry’s ear, causing him to jump back in surprise. Had Louis just called him babe? He liked the sound of that. Tingles ran up and down Harry’s body, and he tried to keep a straight face as he looked away from Louis and at the rest of the boys who were all wearing questionable expressions, except for Liam who was smirking at them.

The buzzer rang, announcing that it was time to head to the main hall for interviews and Harry and Louis had began to walk side by side with the rest of the boys. Louis had brushed shoulders with Liam then began to holler in a sassy voice, “Don’t you wish your boyfriend was hot like me!” Liam had rolled his eyes and managed a giggle while Harry was fighting the urge to burst into hysterics.

The main hall looked surprisingly industrial on the inside, disguised as an ordinary cabin on the outside, but an auditorium on the inside. There were lights hitting the stage, and people had filled the seats. The tributes were ordered to enter backstage, where they would stand in order of their districts, with the Capitol going first, and so Louis and Harry were separated once again.

Thankfully Liam went first so Harry could buy some time to think of what to say. It was natural for him to be nervous since he’d never been interviewed before. He knew interviews were easy, it was just questions being answered. He was just worried he’d end up saying the wrong thing and end up embarrassing himself, but he other than that, he wasn’t too nervous.

On the TV backstage, Harry could see Liam sitting next to Caesar, the host for the Hunger Games. He was acting confident, like he was perfectly comfortable to be up there. Harry listened in on what was being said, and tried to bring himself to be like Liam when his turn came.

He took a deep breath before coming on stage. He tried not to pay attention to the screaming crowd as he sat down next to Caesar, forcing a smile. Cameras were flashing at every angle and Harry felt a bit uncomfortable knowing everyone was watching his every move. One little mistake and he was dead.

“Harry Styles. From the Capitol,” Caesar grinned wildly at the audience, looking impressed. “How are you this evening?”

Harry tried to focus only on Caesar. “I’m doing well. And you?”

Caesar chuckled. “This one has quite the manners! I’m fantastic! So how are you liking it here?”

“It’s very different from the Capitol,” Harry spoke slowly, pacing himself. It was always a habit of himself to speak slower when he was in front of large groups of people. “It’s not as crowded, and there’s definitely more trees. I like it.” The audience giggled at that last part. Harry never liked speaking in front of others. He felt he didn’t know quite what to say.

“Nature is always nice,” Caesar agreed, looking at the audience then back at him. “Now tell me, Harry. How did you feel when you found out tributes would be selected from the Capitol?”

Harry maintained a straight face, trying to formulate his words in a way that he wouldn’t sound too depressing. “I… don’t really know honestly. Nobody knew about it until the reaping, and I blacked out after Liam’s name was called, so I didn’t really have time to react.”

“Ah, so you and Liam are good friends, huh?”

Harry nodded his head.

“Now I’ve heard a bit about you, and correct me if I’m wrong, but you used to work in a bakery, right?”

“Right,” Harry confirmed.

“And you’ve trained prior to the Hunger Games.”

“Yep.”

“And you got a score of eleven, am I right?”

“Yes.”

Caesar raised his hands to the audience, his expression growing excited, as people cheered along with him. “You seem to know what you’re doing!” Harry tried to smile as he continued. “Now what I really want to know is how you feel knowing your family is watching you right now. That’s right, this is a live broadcast.”

Harry forced himself to grin, facing the audience. “Hi, Mum!” He waved to the audience and immediately the crowd roared.

“Quite the charmer, I see!” Caesar talked over the screaming crowd. “I’m sure your family is happy to see you on TV. You’re pretty much a celebrity now.” Harry smirked, knowing his family was far from happy. “So Harry, let me ask you this, are you ready for the Hunger Games?”

“I think so,” Harry said with much confidence, though he knew was really far from ready. “I mean, it’s practically already here, right?”

“Right you are, Styles. Okay, last question! If you win the Hunger Games, what’s the first thing you’re going to do?”

That was considering he won, which wasn’t likely… “Take a shower,” Harry responded right away with a straight face, and then entire auditorium burst into a fit of laughter.

“And after that?”

“I’d definitely go back home,” Harry answered with an approving nod, looking directly at Caesar.

Caesar smiled at Harry, then stood up. “That sounds great! That’s all the time we have. Thank you for joining us, Harry, and good luck!”

Harry returned his smile and stood up from his seat and began to exit the stage, the audience cheering as he left. He breathed a small air of relief, walking towards Liam, who was leaning against a wall, standing close to Niall, or at least close enough to be making conversation. He greeted him with a small smile, then watched the TV screen. A few minutes later he caught sight of Katniss pushing Peeta up against a wall, obviously angry. Harry wondered what had happened there.

Niall and Zayn’s interviews were impressive to say the least. Niall won Caesar’s approval with his charming personality and Zayn seemed to know what to say, though he came off as more quiet and mysterious. Now they were all waiting on Louis.

“Good luck, Lou!” The boys cheered him on as he began to enter the stage.

Harry patted him on the back before he could leave, and grinned. “Break a leg!”

He then averted his attention to the monitor and watched as Louis confidently took a seat next to Caesar. He was smiling that cheeky smile of his at the audience, folding his legs, in a way that resembled Caesar and by the way that Caesar was chuckling, Louis had been meant to be obvious.

“So, Lewis… or is it Louis?”

“Louis,” he confirmed, smiling at the audience.

“Ah, French, I see.” Caesar threw his hands up, a look of amusement on his face. “You seem to be quite the handsome fellow. I assume you have the ladies all over you, yes?”

Louis scoffed in laughter, pressing his lips together in a thin line as he face the audience. He shrugged as if to say ‘well what can I say?’. “I guess you could say that.”

“Any girl in particular?”

Louis shook his head. “Nope, still waiting for that special someone.” He continued to grin towards the cameras, and Harry felt himself let up a bit, confused by Louis’ statement, though he knew he was only playing it up for the cameras.

“Aren’t we all?” The audience laughed hysterically and Caesar grinned wildly at the ruckus in the crowd. “Now this is completely irrelevant, but it’s really caught my eye. Your outfit, it’s unique, it’s different, I like it!”

Louis grinned and wagged his eyebrows at Caesar, all in all, looking totally silly. “Who doesn’t love suspenders?”

“And the trousers, they really do you well, Louis.”

Louis looked flattered, but almost as if it was a forced response. “Thank you.”

“Now I have to ask everyone this,” Caesar changed the subject. “What do you think of the new location?”

Louis folded his arms onto his legs, as if he was completely comfortable sitting up there in front of all the people, the opposite of how Harry had felt during his interview. Louis licked his lips, then began to speak, “I’ll admit, I’m used to the nature and all, but back at home, to be honest, I don’t go outside much, and so being here has been quite the change. I think it’s absolutely fantastic.”

Caesar nodded his head in approval. “You’ve been training a lot too, haven’t you? And congrats on your perfect score, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

“You seem very enthusiastic this evening. Is this normal for you?”

“I’d say so,” Louis replied back with confidence, and the audience roared at his response.

“Wow.” Caesar looked impressed. “What are you planning on doing tomorrow?”

For the first time during that interview, Louis actually looked somewhat serious, and it was hard for Harry to imagine Louis being anything but silly in front of a crowd. “Getting ready for the next day, I suppose. Training, resting… you know how it goes.”

“Preparation never fails,” Caesar nodded in agreement. “Okay, Louis. Last question. If you could say anything to anyone back at home, what would it be?”

Louis moved back into his seat, crossing his arms, appearing to be in deep thought. “I would tell my family I love them, of course. I’d also apologise for any wrongdoings. But most importantly, I’d tell them to quit worrying so much about me, and more on themselves. I’ll be fine no matter what happens, and simply worrying won’t solve anything.” Harry was complete awe, aware that that last answer was probably the only answer he’d been completely honest on.

“Did you hear that, Tomlinsons? Louis is perfectly fine,” Caesar encouraged Louis’ words. “You’re a nice kid, Louis. I hope to see you again soon.”

Louis entered backstage, the boys giving him high-fives and hugs, congratulating him for the great performance. Harry was showing the least support, his depression starting to settle in again, but he tried not to show that.

“Good job,” Harry finally told Louis when he was given the chance to talk. He did a double take, ashamed that after that entire interview, that was all Harry could come up with. “Especially that last part.”

“Thanks,” Louis stiffened a smile, and it seemed weak, and suddenly Harry felt a bit of coldness coming from Louis, and to shrug it off, he offered him his fingers, entwining them with Louis’, in hopes that he could get a brighter smile from Louis. And he did.

“You know what?” Louis’ smile went into a blank, serious expression. “Fuck training.” He tightened his grip on Harry’s hand and a smile appeared again, this time broader than before. “We’re spending the whole day together.”

Harry couldn’t stop himself from smiling after that, and he didn’t try to. The whole day together… He was surprised Louis had even suggested it, though that was what he secretly desired too. Harry was still confused on how Louis felt about him, since neither of them had really confessed, and for all Harry knew, this could just be normal behaviour for Louis… as odd as that sounded. Nevertheless, none of that truly mattered at this point. All that mattered was spending time with Louis before they had to part.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

“Rise and shine, Hazza!”

Harry let out a deep groan, pulling his pillow over his head, not wanting his sleep to be interrupted. He was having the best dream of his life. Harry and Louis were sitting on Harry’s couch, cuddling, with occasional kissing, and his mum had come by to say hello to them and to give them popcorn. Louis was just beginning to have a conversation with Harry’s mum when Harry felt something touch his face, warm and wet, and it wasn’t until he opened his eyes that he realised Louis had kissed him on the cheek, and even though it was much to his disappointment that that had all been a dream, what he woke up to was just as pleasant a sight.

“Honestly, Lou, you couldn’t have let me wake up by myself?” Harry teased the boy, suddenly becoming aware how comfortable he was starting to feel around him. Comfortable enough to tease him.

“Sorry…” Louis’ cheeks flushed pink, and it was obvious he was trying not to grin. “I just thought since it’s the last day, we might as well not waste it.” Louis scratched the back of his neck, then a smile crept on his lips when he looked at Harry. “Plus I’m hungry.”

Harry was tempted to go back to sleep, since he was feeling utterly exhausted from not getting any sleep last night. Of course, Harry was just overwhelmed with the coming of the Hunger Games, in fact, so overwhelmed that even wrapped up in Louis’ arms he couldn’t get himself to sleep.

Harry groaned again, throwing his hands in the air. “Help me get up.”

“Okay, princess.” Louis smiled obnoxiously at Harry, rolling over the side of the bed, and throwing the covers off of Harry. He grabbed his hands and dragged him across the bed, Harry laughing throughout this process. When he reached the edge of the bed, Louis sighed in defeat and said, “Alright, I think you can handle the rest.”

“I’m not that heavy!” Harry protested, smashing a pillow into Louis’ face, pretending to act offended.

“How much do you weigh?”

Harry held up a finger to Louis, and deepening his voice unnecessarily. “A woman never speaks her age!”

Louis scoffed, smirking following immediately after. “Wow, that actually sounded like something I would say.”

Harry couldn’t help but grin at the thought. He had been trying to sound ridiculous in the first place, and he was pleased that Louis was impressed with him.

“For the record, I weigh one-fifty,” Louis admitted.

Harry looked at Louis with an amused expression. “That’s only ten pounds less than me.”

“Well, what can I say? We’re a couple of fit chaps, wouldn’t you agree?”

A smile grew on Harry’s face, Louis had practically said he was fit. Although compliments weren’t completely necessary to Harry, it still made him feel good knowing it had come from Louis. Plus the fact that Louis didn’t find Harry unattractive made him hopeful that maybe he liked him back.

Harry and Louis headed to breakfast, talking and laughing, a polar opposite of how it had seemed to be their entire time there. They really were trying to make every second count. There was something special done for breakfast today. It was practically a Sunday brunch, so many food choices that Harry couldn’t even contemplate where to start. He eventually settled on pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon, wanting to eat as much as possible. He even went crazy and not only got his regular cup of tea, but also orange juice.

“You drink tea every day too?” Harry asked Louis, suddenly noticing a pattern.

Louis picked up his cup and set it back on the table. “All day, every day.”

Hysterical laughter and screaming coming from the dining hall entrance grasped both their attentions to the sight of Niall running towards their table, straightening his shirt, and breathing heavily when he sat down. Liam was chasing him, giggling uncontrollably, and when he caught up with him, he set his hands on Niall’s shoulders, laughing maniacally. “I got you good, didn’t I?”

“That wasn’t funny,” Niall had said, holding back a bit of laughter.

“What did you do this time?” Louis questioned them, slight irritation in his voice, but it was in a rather sarcastic manner.

“Uh…” Liam looked down uncomfortably. “I don’t think you want to know.”

“Trust me, you really don’t,” Niall backed him up.

“Anyway,” Zayn chimed in, looking happy to be changing the subject. “Are the rest of you going to train today? I mean, I know Niall and Liam are skipping, so-”

Louis cut him off, setting his elbow on the table, leaning against it, smirking. “Let me guess, kinky sex?”

Both Liam and Niall’s faces had flushed uncomfortably, and Liam had switched his body to stand further away from Niall, and it seemed to be an involuntary action, which made it an obvious reference to what Harry said next. “No way, Liam’s still a virgin.”

“No he’s not,” Niall blurt out, and everyone immediately dropped their jaws, grinning incredulously in surprise at him.

“Uh…” Liam’s eyes reverted to the ground. “I’ll just be a minute.” He had stood up to walk away, but he had tripped on Louis’ leg which had just happened to be there, and nearly fallen over, but Niall caught him before he could.

“Well, that was awkward,” Zayn said after breathing a large air of relief. He sipped his orange juice and proceeded to speak. “As I was saying, are you guys going to skip for… kinky sex?”

Harry’s face was starting to burn up at the images that were beginning to peak in his mind, but he fought them away by laughing it off. “No,” he managed between giggles, but didn’t know where to go from there.

Luckily Louis covered for them, which made Harry question why. “We’re training together.” Now why couldn’t he just tell Zayn the truth? There were so many reasons that he wouldn’t, but Harry found it impossible for any of them to be true. First there was the possibility that Louis actually liked Harry in a way that was greater than a typical friendship, and perhaps he didn’t want to share anything with the rest of the boys. And if that was true, what if Louis didn’t want to admit to what Zayn had said? Warm sensations spread through him at the possibility, and the fact that he wanted that to be true was what scared him the most.

After breakfast, Louis and Harry went for a walk around the arena, simply to enjoy the nature and talk about whatever crossed their minds. Little things like this meant the world to Harry.

“I don’t think I’ve ever climbed a mountain before,” Louis admitted, his eyes on the mountain ahead of them. “I bet you have, Capitol kid.” He punched Harry in the elbow playfully.

Harry rubbed his arm, pretending to be in pain. “I actually haven’t. I almost did when I was younger, but that was before I saw the mountain. I chickened out and Gemma, my sister, ended up going without me. She still never lets me live it down,” Harry stifled a laugh, then felt pain take over, remembering that he would never see her again.

“Siblings are just lovely, aren’t they?” Louis distracted Harry from thinking any further. “There was this one time my friend wanted to go clubbing with me and I couldn’t go simply because I would’ve had to bring my sisters with me if I went.”

Harry grinned at the image of Louis at a bar. Getting drunk. Something he would die to see. Which led him to ask… “So you’ve been drunk before?”

“Of course. Have you?”

“I wouldn’t really call it drunk,” Harry explained, recalling the experience. “I remember having a drink or two here and there, but I never drank enough to actually get drunk. I don’t fancy alcohol much.”

“I prefer staying sober as well. The only time I’ve ever truly been wasted, I think I told you, there was that one night stand…” Louis’ face had flushed a deep shade of pink, as if embarrassed to be discussing this. “It was actually after a horrible breakup, I was practically drinking away my feelings, and well, later that night…” Louis had trailed off, but continued a moment later. “I’ll spare you the details. The next day I still recalled the previous night, and I thought, hey, maybe I do fancy boys. I wasn’t sure if I had enjoyed it because I was drunk, but when I started seeing boys in a different light, I finally came to the conclusion that I’m gay.” Harry was pleased that Louis was talking more comfortably now. He absolutely despised when Louis was trying to hide something. “And there you have it, the story of how Louis Tomlinson discovered his sexuality.”

“How far have you…” Harry began but shook his head. “Never mind.”

Louis looked at him with disapproval and his expression was practically screaming, ‘Tell me!’

He decided to give in. “How far have you gone with a girl?”

“All the way,” Louis admitted with no shame. “Now that I think back on it, I don’t think I’ll ever like girls like that again. There’s just something about boys that are more interesting.” Harry was now staring at Louis and he must have noticed because he was blushing. “Sorry… sometimes I ramble on and on…”

“You’re fine.” Harry grinned at his play of words. Louis was indeed fiiine.

“Since we’re on the subject, I hope you won’t mind me asking.” Louis and Harry had stopped walking, sitting themselves down on a bench, their legs tired from walking. “Are you… a virgin?”

Harry looked down, though he could feel Louis undressing him with his eyes. “I think so… I mean, I’ve gone pretty far, but never all the way, you know?”

“With girls, right?”

“Right,” Harry confirmed, hoping that wasn’t another way of asking, ‘Are you straight?’ because Harry honestly had no idea how to answer that. He wasn’t sure if it was only Louis that was making him feel gay, and at the same time he still found girls attractive, so perhaps he was bisexual. Harry didn’t feel the most comfortable at that moment, so he lessened the tension by saying, “I’m tired.” He threw his head against Louis’ shoulder and Louis set his arm over Harry’s shoulder, causing Harry’s heart to race. God, the things Louis did to him.

“How does an afternoon nap sound to you?”

Harry grinned, confirming that he was definitely looking forward to lying in bed with Louis. But when they had reached Harry’s cabin, sleeping was the last thing on their minds. They were on the ground and Louis was on top of Harry, playing with his hair, and Harry was fighting to get Louis off of him, but Louis was too heavy and wouldn’t budge.

Harry sighed in defeat, a grin slipping onto his face at the realisation that had crossed his mind. “What if Liam walked in right now?”

“He won’t. He’s too busy fucking Mr. Leprechaun.”

A giggle surpassed Harry’s mouth, and he continued to attempt to push Louis off of him, but Louis had held him down firmer, a smile crossing his face, probably amused by Harry’s actions. They had both settled themselves a few moments later and were leaning against the bed, and Harry broke the ice. “You know, I’m really going to miss this.” He was really referring to being with Louis, and he wanted Louis to catch on, but when he saw those beautiful blue eyes, his intentions had fallen. “Being here, you know? It was fun.”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed, fixing his hair. “Strange to say, I’m glad I’m here, regardless of how horrendous this whole situation is. I could be at home right now, safe and sound, for the most part I mean, but it would just be so… boring. And if I hadn’t been chosen, I would’ve never learned anything new in training. I wouldn’t have gotten to eat such fantastic food.” He moved forward, his eyes piercing into Harry’s. “I would’ve never met you.”

Warmth rushed through Harry’s skin, Louis’ words bouncing inside him. He hadn’t mentioned the boys, only him. That had to mean something, didn’t it? Harry knew that this was his chance. He’d been prolonging it for days and this was his last chance. He had to confess now.

He was still the midst of trying to find the words to say when he felt Louis’ hand trace his neck, shivers running through him, and a moment later Louis’ lips were pressed against Harry’s. Now it wasn’t the kiss that had the most effect on Harry, but the way Louis was pulling him closer as their lips smashed together, forcefully now. It made Harry feel that Louis wanted to enjoy this as much as he did. He wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, rubbing tiny circles on his back, moving his hands until they crept up to his neck, and Harry cupped a hand under Louis’ chin as he felt Louis’ tongue enter his mouth. Words couldn’t describe how this kiss made Harry feel. It was different than their previous kisses. This one was so sure of itself, filled with so many conflicting emotions, but all the while seemed perfect, and nothing was holding Harry back from enjoying it this time.

Harry was pushed back against the bed, and their hips had collided, and something was hitting the bulge in Harry’s pants. Still caught up in the kiss, he didn’t even have to look down to tell that Louis was enjoying this as much as he was. Louis had set his hand on Harry’s leg and Harry, shifted uncomfortably, getting harder from the gesture. Louis smirked, removing his lips from Harry and brushing them down his face. As he reached his neck and began to bite down hard, Harry had shivers running down his spine.

“Just thought I’d return the favour,” Louis muttered in his husky, fucking adorable voice.

Harry grabbed Louis by the shoulders and pulled him into another kiss, feeling brave. His desperation had gotten to him, wanting to take control. He continued to brush his lips against Louis’, the gesture growing rougher, and Harry was so into the kiss that he didn’t even notice Louis’ hand that was making its way down to Harry’s waist. In fact, he was so into it that when Louis had moved his hand to Harry’s crotch, Harry had to do a double take because he was now at a full-blown erection, and he wasn’t doing anything to stop Louis.

Louis’ hand hadn’t moved and when he began tracing his fingertips around it, Harry released a low moan at the new sensation that surrounded him. It almost embarrassed him since they were kissing at the same time the second moan surpassed him. Harry didn’t want Louis to stop what he was doing, but at the same time, wanted Louis to feel what he was feeling. He continued to rub his lips against Louis’, biting Louis’ bottom lip down gently, practically throwing all his weight onto Louis to knock him to the ground so he was on top of him. Harry moved his lips in sync with Louis and let his hands wander Louis’ body. Their closeness was so incredible he could feel their erections brushing against each other which just turned him on even more. He caressed his fingers against Louis’ cheek, taking in every moment, knowing this was the only time he could show Louis how he felt, since he was too shy to tell him. With that in mind, he positioned his fingers on the fabric over Louis’ cock, feeling the warm bulk followed by a moan escaping Louis’ mouth. A smile crossed Harry’s face and he was pleased that he was able to make Louis feel this way. Harry was feeling confident, and getting a bit carried away, when he began to pull Louis’ shirt off, and surprisingly, Louis’ hand had stopped him, but only to gesture towards the bed.

The moment they got to the bed, their lips met each other and Louis had begun to take off his shirt, followed by Harry’s. He did it so carefully that it had taken Harry a moment to realise what was happening. The two of them shirtless, Louis began to explore Harry’s body further, kissing down his chest and his abs, which caused Harry to shudder profusely. Louis’ lips were travelling further down Harry’s body, until he reached the top of his pants. Louis looked up at Harry as if to ask if it was okay to keep going, and Harry nodded yes. Slowly but surely, Louis removed Harry’s trousers, as well as his underpants, his crotch now revealed.

“Wow,” he heard Louis murmur and a wild blush came upon Harry’s face, pleased that he had impressed Louis and also feeling very exposed.

He observed as Louis wrapped his fingers around his cock, moving them up and down, moans escaping Harry at the pleasure he was getting. It was heating up, and Louis’ thrusting was growing faster and faster, until he came to an abrupt stop. Harry was about to protest but saw that Louis was removing the rest of his clothing until he was completely exposed, his cock standing up, and all Harry could do was stare at the enormity of it. Of course, Harry’s had his fair share of seeing penises in his life, due to Liam being too comfortable around him, but this was different. So many thoughts were racing in his mind, and suddenly he wanted Louis now more than ever. All of him.

Louis’ hand had made its way back to Harry’s cock, this time putting himself fully on top of Harry, making kissing possible now. Their lips smashed together immediately, with no reaction time, and Louis’ hand had proceeded to move up and down again, causing Harry to shift with the shaking of his body. Words couldn’t describe how great this felt. Sure, he’d gotten handjobs before, but they were never as intense as this.

“I really do hope you’re enjoying this as much as I am,” Louis muttered and barely a whisper escaped Harry, for he was literally too caught up in the moment to say more.

Harry courageously moved his hand over to Louis’ crotch, wanting to return the favour. He’d never given a handjob to anyone but himself, and so this was all new for him, but with the moans that were escaping Louis as he moved his hand rhythmically, he felt pleased that he was doing a good job.

“Harry…” Louis said in a low whisper, which was either a way of telling Harry to stop what he was doing or to show that he was enjoying himself. Either way, Harry couldn’t deny the pleasant feeling it gave him.

Louis finally pushed himself off of Harry, sitting down in front of him, both of them breathing heavily as they made eye contact. Harry sat up on the bed as well, and Louis bent down until his lips met with Harry’s cock, and his eyes immediately went up to meet Harry’s.

“Is this okay?” Louis said in a pouty voice, which fucking killed Harry inside.

Harry didn’t even bother responding, his expression already giving away the right answer. Harry set his hand on Louis’ golden brown hair as he moved his lips down carefully, Harry immediately falling to moans when Louis’ lips went back up, but when Harry finally lost it was when Louis had looked back up at Harry, his eyes full of lust and desire as he continued to suck. Harry was thrusting into Louis’ mouth at this point, literally too horny to do anything else, and maybe he was enjoying himself a little too much, but that didn’t matter.

“Oh my God, Louis!” were the words that escaped Harry when he knew he was so close to finishing, and Louis seemed to catch on by the way he was picking up his speed. Harry cried out in pleasure as he felt the climax coming, his body no longer under his control anymore, and stars entered his vision as he came into Louis’ mouth.

His body sunk backwards into the bed, and he sighed blissfully, feeling satisfied with what had happened, and now he knew what was next. It wasn’t that Louis was making him or anything, but he felt the need to do it, simply because he wanted to hear Louis scream his name. He was a bit hesitant at first since he’d never given a blowjob before and had never expected to, but eventually he gave in, and he really did enjoy the feeling and warmth of Louis’ cock in his mouth. He didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to do, and he couldn’t exactly fit it all into his mouth, so he used his hand to make up for it, and traced around the area, giving the balls a tiny squeeze, and he heard Louis cry out. He wrapped his mouth around the cock once more, moving his mouth up and down, starting out slow but gaining speed as Louis’ moans grew louder and much more obvious. He could tell that Louis was ready to come and he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of having bodily fluids in his mouth, so he settled on finishing him with a handjob. Louis was thrusting against his hand faster and faster, knocking Harry down onto the bed, and finally came all over Harry’s chest, letting his body drop next to Harry, where they laid for several moments, both of them breathless.

Harry finally pulled himself closer to Louis, giving him a quick peck on the lips, and grinning when he looked into his blue eyes, which revealed that he was happy. Harry buried his face into Louis’ neck, feeling blissfully happy, not wanting this moment to end. He felt his eyes closing, suddenly feeling exhausted, most likely an aftermath from what had occurred. The realisation that this was their last day took Harry’s sleepiness away and he moved his head away from Louis to see that he was sleeping. A smile crossed his face when he thought of an idea.

“So you’re sleeping right now, obviously,” Harry began, feeling more comfortable to talk knowing that Louis couldn’t hear him. “I don’t know about you but that was… wow. Incredible. I can’t even explain it. With that being said, I just wanted to… say a few things. I’ve never been good with confessions or anything of that sort, but ever since I saw you walk up to that stage at the reaping, I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. Which is weird because I’m straight, right? Yeah, I don’t know about that anymore. There’s just something about you, Lou. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and maybe I’m just being delusional, but… I don’t know. There’s just something about the way you handle things. I’ve always been impulsive, and that usually leads to hurting people. Not that you can’t be impulsive, it’s just…. you handle things differently. You’re strong, you know what you’re doing. I love that about you. On the day of the reaping, I had so much respect for you. You were really doing a good job at hiding how you felt, even though with one glance, I could tell you were dying inside.” Harry took a deep breath, his throat starting to hurt from talking so much.

“You’re one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. I know it hasn’t been all fun and games lately, but when I watched your interview with Caesar, it took a lot to keep myself from laughing. I love how you can be outgoing one minute and then reserved the next. I can tell it’s not just a show – being happy – because nobody could fake a smile like yours. You are so talented. Getting that twelve wasn’t pure luck, believe it or not. You don’t always give yourself enough credit for what you do. I don’t know exactly what you did when you were assessed, but obviously the judges liked it, and you deserved the score you got. I honestly think you deserve to win the Hunger Games, because you’re honestly the greatest person I’ve met, and I know you would argue if you were awake right now, but I mean it, Louis. You’re amazing.” A knot was starting to develop in Harry’s throat, surprised by how fast he could become overwhelmed with his own emotions.

“Honestly. If anyone’s winning, it’s you. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t even care if I die, just as long as you get to win. I want you to go back home and win over the love of your family, whether or not you decide to tell them the truth, because you deserve that. I want you to live a happy life. I want you to do great things because I know you’re capable of that.” Harry chuckled a bit with the tears that were starting to form in his eyes. “I’m sounding really sappy here, I know. Good thing you can’t hear me. I almost wish you could, because I’ll never get the courage to tell you. But…” he gulped, ready to say it without a second thought, “I… I love you, Louis. I know that’s crazy and I doubt you feel the same way, in fact, you’d most likely be laughing if you were awake to hear this, but… I said it. It’s out now. I don’t even care if you feel the same way. It’s not like we can really go anywhere from here.” Harry was now struggling to speak, everything slurring together between his sobs. “Tomorrow’s the Hunger Games. God, Lou. I’m so fucking scared. I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna watch you die. Or Liam. Or any of the other boys. I just want everything to be okay. Why can’t everything just be okay?” Harry threw himself into Louis’ arms, continuing to sob, and Louis had groaned quietly, shifting his body until he woke up frantically wrapping his arms around Harry.

“What’s wrong, Haz?” Louis asked in a soft voice, running a hand through Harry’s curls, in an attempt to comfort him.

“Nothing,” Harry started, slightly disappointed that Louis hadn’t heard anything he said. “I’m just so… so scared.”

Louis pulled Harry closer to him, and Harry could feel their heartbeats colliding with their chests, Harry’s obviously racing. “Relax, Harry. I’m right here.”

Harry leaned into Louis’ chest, taking in Louis’ smell. And right away, he was so comfortable and relaxed that he couldn’t think of anything else but being in Louis’ arms. He took it all in, enjoying every moment, even the rising and falling of Louis’ chest as he breathed. He wanted to remember everything, just like this, when he would be fighting to the death tomorrow. His eyes were starting to close, and Louis had whispered, “Harry?”

Harry whispered back, “Yeah?”

Harry assumed Louis had fallen asleep right then, because he hadn’t gotten a response right away. But after what had felt like ages, Louis finally muttered, “Never mind.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Harry took one last look at the room before he left his cabin for good. Sadness had already taken over him, and he didn’t want to leave all the memories behind. Alright, sadness was an understatement because Harry was fucking shaking with fright and didn’t know what to do about it simply because there was nothing to do about it. It was hard to believe that it had only been minutes since Louis was here, and it wasn’t that this was their last goodbye or anything, but it sure had felt that way.

When Harry and Liam began to head to the main hall, where the tributes were to gather, Harry had no clue what to look forward to, and frankly, he didn’t care. He had spent the previous night preparing for his death until Louis forced him to go to sleep. Which wasn’t a bad idea considering he wouldn’t be able to get much sleep in the arena. Harry had reached that point where it didn’t even hurt him anymore knowing he was going to die. It wasn’t that it didn’t hurt him anymore really, Harry had just grown used to the idea that there was no way he was going to make it out alive, unless he killed Louis, and he sure as hell wasn’t going down that road. He found some comfort in knowing that he didn’t waste what he had of his life, living each day the best he could. Of course, excluding those days when Harry ignored Louis, but there was no use regretting that. Harry didn’t even mind too much that he would be dying a virgin. He’d messed around a few times here and there, withyesterday’s events being the most enjoyable, and that was all that mattered now.

Neither Harry nor Liam said a word to each other, in fact, none of the tributes were speaking to each other. Harry guessed they were all just as terrified as he was. He could only imagine what Louis was thinking, and that also made him wonder where Louis was. He was definitely somewhere in the crowd of people, and Harry had to fight the temptation to look for him, deciding the sooner he could get away from Louis, the easier it would be to let go of him. The whole thing was kind of ironic really. Harry honestly couldn’t live without Louis, and so this situation took care of that, he supposed. And obviously Louis didn’t feel the same way. Surely it didn’t even mean anything to Louis, the messing around the previous day obviously just his version of ‘last night on earth’. Harry figured with that knowledge Louis would be fine without him, and he hoped his strength would carry him through the Hunger Games. Harry wanted his death to at least have worth to it.

Harry’s guess had been right about the train, which would take them back to the Capitol, and then he didn’t know where they’d go from there. Harry sat next to Louis on the train, his head on his shoulder. The boys sat around them, eating the food offered to them, otherwise known as their last meal. Louis was eating as much as he could, whereas Harry couldn’t find the motivation to even touch his food. Not only did he find eating pointless, but he was too scared to move, let alone speak. Being this close to Louis was dangerous enough. Niall and Liam seemed to be taking everything well, but that could’ve been only because they were still speaking to each other, all their inside jokes and laughter locked away.

He pushed himself closer to Louis and Louis had wrapped an arm around him, the one that wasn’t holding a cupcake. Harry’s body shook furiously, the usual response that Louis could make him feel so many things at once. His heart nearly stopped at the thought that he would no longer feel his touch, or be able to look at his beautiful face. No more kissing or hearing that husky, slightly high-pitched voice. No more seeing Louis’ mood swings, or hearing him laugh and sounding so happy when he did it. He couldn’t forget the way Louis’ hands felt when they explored his body, and it didn’t help that they were touching even now.

As they approached the Capitol, Harry could see crowds of people waving and cheering at them. He was absolutely disgusted that so many people had come to witness them leave for the Hunger Games. Of course, Harry had done this in the past, and calling out people would be hypocritical. It was just one of those situations where you didn’t think too much on it until you were in that situation.

The train had come to an abrupt stop, and Harry couldn’t find the strength to move. Luckily, Louis had taken a notice and grabbed Harry’s hand, pulling him out the doors. Harry wouldn’t let go of Louis’ hand when they stepped into the Capitol, afraid that he would lose him if he did.

Louis had moved his head to Harry’s, whispering something in his ear, which Harry couldn’t hear since the crowd was too loud to speak over. They followed behind Liam and Harry looked ahead to see people getting inside a helicopter, which assumingly, would take them to the arena. Harry wondered if his family were somewhere in the crowd. He’d give anything to see them one last time, but he knew the odds were slim. More like non-existent, actually.

They had reached the steps that led to the helicopter, and Harry couldn’t keep himself from getting one last look at the world, knowing this would be the last time he’d ever see it. He tried to forget about the knot that had grown in his throat, and instead clung closer to Harry as they entered the helicopter. There were seats for each tribute, where they would be strapped in for safety purposes. Harry and Louis sat next to each other, and were forced to let go of each other in order to do so. Harry’s hand felt empty without Louis’ but the fact that he was still close to him made him feel a little better with everything that was going around them.

A lady made her way towards Harry, gesturing for his arm. He flinched in pain, as he observed her injecting something into his arm. She had moved on to Louis next and Louis had made an effort to ask what she was doing.

“A tracker,” the woman responded, shoving the needle into Louis’ arm.

Louis muttered an ‘ow’ as he rubbed his arm to ease the pain. He was now looking at Harry, and both of them had tried to smile each other, probably as a way to reassure each other that this couldn’t be all that bad. Of course, that was a lie, and Harry knew that.

They had landed sooner than Harry had anticipated and suddenly his heart had began to speed up again, worried of what was to come. They exited the helicopter and immediately followed the rest of the tributes to a building in front of them, the landscape around them resembling the area they had trained in.

Someone had stepped out of the helicopter, with a blow horn in their hands. The noise alarmed Harry at first. “Attention! You are to head to the building, and find the room marked with your district.”

Harry had immediately grabbed Louis’ hand, gripping it tight as they entered the building. People were starting to part as they headed in different directions, and Harry knew this was it. He turned to face Louis, knowing this would be the last time they’d see each other outside the arena.

Harry pressed a kiss to Louis’ lips quickly, then Louis pulled Harry into a hug for a matter of seconds, sighing. “See you on the other side, Haz.”

“See you, Louis.”

Harry watched Louis as he walked off in the opposite direction, sighing and trying to assure himself that this wasn’t the last time they’d see each other. With that comforting thought, it took him everything to pull his eyes away from Louis. He made his way down the hall, then felt Liam’s presence next to him just barely after he’d found their room. Liam and Harry marched into the room without a word, and their stylist greeted them with a grim smile.

“Put these on.”

Within seconds, Liam and Harry were scrambling to put their jackets on, loose and comfortable quality, specially made to last them throughout the Hunger Games. They had already dressed prior to coming here, and he guessed that was to speed the process.

“Thirty seconds,” an announcement blared, and Harry’s heart began to pound in his chest, and now he was overwhelmed that he was really here, about to get into the arena. He had been desperately trying to avoid this, and now that it was happening, it was unbelievable.

“Now I’m not gonna give you some speech that ends with that stupid motto that we’re all sick of hearing,” the stylist began, tugging his hair back behind his ear. “But you guys aren’t a bad looking bunch. Good luck out there.”

Harry forced a small smile and thanked him, his voice low and a bit shaky.

“Ten seconds.”

Harry and Liam moved inside their pods, slowly and regrettably, as the glass closed in around them.

“Make sure you don’t step off until after the countdown is over,” the stylist warned them, his last and final words before the pods had began to move, and Harry felt himself being lifted up.

His heartbeat was now so fast, he swore it was going to explode. It was in fact so loud that he could barely hear anything around him. Sunlight finally struck him, and he took a moment to observe the area around him. It was mostly just grass, but he could see trees in the distance, as well as the other tributes next to him, all enclosed in a circle. Undeniably, the first thing he noticed was Louis standing on a pod about ten tributes away to his left. So close, yet so far away. He felt a bit angry that Louis hadn’t noticed him yet, or at least wasn’t looking, but with the amount of the tension going on, he wasn’t surprised Louis was a bit out of it. As the countdown continued, Harry reminded himself not to be act surprised if Louis turned against him at any time. He was doing this for him anyway.

About one hundred meters away was the Cornucopia, a giant, golden horn shaped like a cone, with a tail. On the inside, material was placed on the ground neatly and spread onto the grass. There were bags, weapons, basically necessary supplies to survive. Harry knew from the previous Games he’d watched how this was going to happen, and he knew he had to be quick, or he would get killed. Sure, he had every intention of getting killed, but death this soon was just insulting to him.

“…Five… four… three… two…” There was a long pause, which was probably all in Harry’s head. He took that brief second to glance over at Louis again, before preparing himself to step off the pod. “One.”

Harry sprinted towards the first bag he set his eyes on and grabbed it. A feeling of triumph overcame him and he was surprised how easy that was. He was starting to head into the trees, where he could stay hidden, when he was pushed to the ground, nearly dropping his bag. He held it tight and Peeta was on top of him, a knife in hand. Inside Harry knew this was it.

“Give me the fucking bag!” Peeta exclaimed, shoving the knife down to Harry’s face, but Harry had dodged and he missed, hitting the ground instead. Peeta was ready to attempt it again when Harry was pulled away from the boy, his bag snatched out of his hands in the process. Peeta marched off, satisfied, and Harry felt a mix of emotions. Peeta hadn’t killed him, but he had taken his bag.

He was ready to turn around and punch the idiot who had gotten his bag taken away from him when he heard Louis murmur, “Come on.” Louis was pulling his hand as he led them into the trees, the sounds of brutal screaming fading as they went deeper into the woods. Harry observed that Louis had an average-sized bag hanging from his back, along with a bow and arrows in hand. How on earth did he get all that?

“Okay, first off, we need to find a water source. It can’t be too far…” The sound of Louis’ voice startled Harry who was now shaking, paranoid that someone was going to jump out from behind them.

“Louis, what are we doing?” Harry stopped them.

“Looking for a water source, I just said-”

“No, I mean, this is the Hunger Games.” It killed Harry to say the next part, but he knew it, and he knew Louis knew it too, so there was no point trying to get away from the truth. “Aren’t we supposed to be fighting to our deaths?”

“There’s nothing wrong with forming alliances,” Louis responded almost immediately, keeping his head down and walking ahead of Harry.

Harry almost wanted to argue and tell him that they would eventually have to kill each other soon, but even he was feeling like he’d already used up all his bravery for the day. His eyes kept peering to Louis’ materials and he couldn’t help but think that Louis really did deserve that twelve, he sure knew how to survive.

“Checking out my bum now, are we?”

Harry blushed, removing his eyes from Louis’ backside, unaware of how long he’d been unintentionally staring. “Yes, because right now is the perfect time to admire your nice bum.” The words had slipped out and Harry didn’t even care that he’d admittedly told Louis he thought his bum was nice.

“It’s as good a time as any,” Louis said with a shrug, sitting himself down on a pile of rocks. “Let’s sit for a bit, yeah?”

Harry sat himself down next to Louis after taking a quick look around them, making sure they weren’t being followed. The minute his bottom hit the rocks he threw himself into Louis’ arms, the warmth of the embrace creating an odd effect; calming his nerves but causing his brain to do crazy things at the same time.

“You’re cute when you scared.” Harry could feel his hot breath on him as he spoke, and he shook off the feeling, wondering how he could feel so happy when they were so close to death. But come on, Louis calling him cute? That had to mean something, didn’t it?

“Your eyes are very green today.”

Harry frowned. “Thanks…?”

Louis smiled smugly, pulling Harry closer to him, now practically sitting in his lap. “Normally they’re a mix of blue and green, of course the green dominating it, but today…” His eyes immediately went to the ground, flustered. “Sorry, rambling again.”

“Who fucking cares?” Harry found himself blurting, and now he was forced to continue since his random outburst had probably left Louis confused. “I mean, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Neither should you.”

Harry thought back on the previous day when he had confessed his feelings, indirectly, of course, and he wondered if Louis had heard him. He definitely wished he had, so he wouldn’t have to explain it again.

“I’ll tell you what’s on my mind, if you really want me to,” Louis began, moving his face closer to Harry’s, their noses brushing. “You.” As cliché as that sounded, Harry took in that one word, trying to take into consideration that Louis was thinking about him. “I guess that’s rubbish, considering we’re talking, and so obviously I would be thinking about you.” Oh. “I was thinking of yesterday, more so.” There was something about the way Louis said it that drove Harry insane, and made him wonder exactly what he was referring to. “I mean, other than the blowjobs, of course.”

Harry felt his face flush, surprised that Louis could be so blunt about it. Well, at least he was being specific.

Louis’ lips crept up into a smirk, and he had shook his head slowly, smiling as he did it. “Ohh, Harry.”

Louis continued to rattle on and on about something, and Harry had taken a brief moment to inspect the area. They could never be too safe. “What are you getting all hyped up about?” Harry crossed his arms in an impatient manner, though he was actually amused by this.

Louis looked back at Harry again, suddenly with a serious expression. “I don’t know if you’re aware… but I’m a very light sleeper. In fact, I hardly sleep at all.”

What was he trying to say? “Are you trying to tell me you’re a vampire?”

Harry saw him grin smugly as he shook his head. Then his expression returned to normal. “Sometimes people like to tell me things when they think I’m asleep, and sometimes I hear it, sometimes I don’t.”

Harry pulled himself out of Louis’ arms, knowing exactly what Louis was talking about. He forced himself to keep a straight face and tried to find something to say back to that.

Louis smiled at Harry, the kind of smile that made him want to die because it was just so perfect. “First of all, I’d just like to say how cute it was to choose that time to tell me. Why?”

Harry was at a loss for words, still unsure if Louis felt the same way. He knew Louis loved teasing him, though, so maybe something was coming up. Most likely rejection. “I, uh… I guess I lost too many opportunities and I dunno, it was just the spur of the moment really.”

“I thought we agreed we wouldn’t be afraid to tell each other anything,” Louis protested, and Harry was under the impression that Louis was upset until he spoke again. “You know, I have so many things I’ve been wanting to tell you lately… since I met you actually. And I’ve never had the chance to say it. I really think we need to a better job at communicating.”

Harry nodded his head in agreement, taking another moment to check the area around them. He swore, the paranoia was eating him alive. “I just want to make sure… Did you hear everything I said?”

“Every word,” Louis responded sharply, which made Harry gulp in nervousness. “And it made me realise that maybe I’m not so crazy for liking the curly-haired boy after all.”

Harry nearly fell off the rocks, taken away by Louis’ words. “What?”

“Come on, Harry. I think you know what I’m getting at,” Louis nudged him playfully. “You know, ever since that first day when you bumped into me, wearing that ridiculous outfit, I knew you and I would become close. Well, actually, it was completely the opposite. You acted a bit out of it, I guess, and that made me feel like I didn’t even stand a chance at becoming your friend.” Harry thought back on their first encounter, remembering how he had acted so cold that day, but mostly because it was the first day. “I’m not going to lie, the first time I saw you without that horrendous makeup, I wanted to fuck the living shit out of you.” Louis was fighting off a blush, and Harry could tell since he was also struggling to keep a straight face. “Maybe it’s those eyes, or your stupid beautiful curly locks, but there’s something about you, yeah? The first time we kissed – the time before that I was teasing you, yeah? That was fun, I’m not sure why I did it. Probably to see if you’d show interest. Which you did.” Louis smirked. “The kiss really did have chemistry though. Sparks like movies and such. It made me realise how strong my feelings were. Well, that and how much you not talking to me affected me.” Harry remembered those dreadful days when he was still in denial about his feelings. He wished he could have them back. “At first I thought you hated me, but I knew that couldn’t be true from the way you kissed me. I’ve actually been confused this whole time, until you cleared it up yesterday. Now I think I know why you did it. Your feelings were confusing you.”

Harry looked up at him with a surprised expression. He wondered how Louis had figured all that out. Maybe Louis had looked into him deeper than Harry had thought.

“I don’t blame you either,” Louis continued. “I was in denial at first too. I didn’t really know how to label myself either. At first I thought I was bi, then when I looked at other women and realised I didn’t see them the same way I used to anymore, I realised I only like men. Now I don’t know what’s going on in your mind, and frankly, it doesn’t matter. Who cares who you like? Plus, labels are stupid and trying to figure them out is just unwanted work.”

“I’m thinking I’m bi…” Harry muttered to himself. “You are the only guy I’ve ever been attracted to.”

“Like I said, don’t bother labeling yourself,” he repeated, his eyes gazing at Harry again. “So I dealt with unrequited feelings for a while. I started to think that maybe you felt the same way for some time, but it mostly just confused the hell out of me. You’re just so bloody brilliant, you know that, Harry? I swear, you’re so oblivious about your actions. I mean, thinking back on it… the way you comforted me when I ran out of the dining hall the first few nights. I doubted it at first, thought that you were only trying to mock me or something. But when you kept showing up after that and actually showed interest in learning about my life… it was all just surreal to me. Nobody’s ever shown that kind of interest in me before. It made me feel… important. And when I told you about my past, you didn’t judge me, when any normal person would have. You put your optimistic input into it and pretty much cheered me up. Something so few people put effort into doing. And for that, I thank you eternally.” Harry couldn’t hide the smile that was now very obvious on his face. Louis returned the smile then went for Harry’s hand. “You know, I understand why you did the things you did. How you avoided me. You tend to overthink, don’t you? I know how that can be, I try to stay out of the habit myself. But believe it or not, that’s one my favorite things about you. How you can get so lost in your thoughts, allowing them to eat you up… It’s all just so beautiful. You’re beautiful. I… I just…” Louis tightened his grasp on Harry’s hand and his voice grew shaky. “I love you.”

Harry had almost forgotten how to speak, and he had to pinch his own arm to convince himself that he wasn’t dreaming, that this was really happening. Louis loved him… “I…” Harry began, then remembered they were still in the Hunger Games, making him question how he had lost himself in the moment. “Can I kiss you?”

Louis gave him an intense look that screamed, ‘why are you even asking?’ then he puckered his lips, pressing them against Harry, the kiss strongly resembling their first one. Full of passion, and pure of emotion. Harry released everything he was feeling in the kiss, which varied from fear and tension to adoration and pure bliss. He slid his tongue between Louis’ lips, wanting to show him how much he loved him, though he know that was physically impossible, at least right now. The kiss hadn’t lasted long when the sound of laughter filled the air and Louis and Harry pulled away from each other, turning to see a knife being hurled at them.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Harry and Louis went sprinting into the woods, away from Peeta and Cato. Harry was in downright shock and absolutely baffled that the two of them had joined forces, after all they’d been through. He supposed that was always smart, but he hoped that wasn’t what Louis was doing to him.

It seemed they were running for ages when silence finally surrounded them, and it was actually a bit too quiet. Harry was completely breathless and his body ached from running, and Louis was panting as well, clearly exhausted. A boom suddenly sounded, indicating the death of a tribute. Harry hadn’t count on there being more, but the booms continued until it finally stopped after thirteen tributes.

“Fourteen tributes, Jesus,” Louis muttered, shaking his head slowly. He sighed, throwing his backpack onto the ground and sitting down next to it. “Well, that’s fourteen less to worry about.”

Harry remembered what had happened before they were attacked, and he blushed, making it completely inappropriate for the situation. He decided now was as good a time as any to discuss everything with Louis. Now that they were both aware of their feelings, he could explain what he planned to do with them. “I don’t plan to kill you, you know.”

“That makes two of us.”

Harry frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. “One of us is going to die eventually…”

“And that will be me.”

Harry swore his eyes were bulging out of their sockets as he tried to retaliate and conclude that Louis had just admitted he was willing to sacrifice his life for Harry’s.

He sat down next to Louis and looked him dead in the eye, every inch of him burning with uncertainty. “No, Lou. I’m not letting you.”

“Then what else are we supposed to it, Harry? Honestly. Do you really think I’m going to let you lose? After all you’ve been through?” Louis dropped his hands onto his knees. “Look, you have a family to go back to.”

Harry began, “So do y-”

“Don’t even say it. I knew you were going to do this. I don’t even know why you brought it up. But… needless to say, I’m glad you did. That way we don’t end up killing each other by accident or something.” Louis sat up straight, straightening out himself. “Listen, I may have a family, and they might love me, but they don’t know what I did, and frankly, I don’t want them to. Believe it or not, and I know we’ve discussed this, but… I’m not as great as you make me out to be. I don’t deserve to go back to the people who still think I’m that innocent kid who never did anything wrong. You haven’t done anything wrong. You deserve to live. And this isn’t some stupid religious shit either, I’m just stating the facts.”

Harry took a moment to think of something to say that didn’t involve trying to convince him he was wrong, because Louis would just continue denying it and they wouldn’t get anywhere. “You deserve to live as much as I do. There’s no telling who will win and who will die. Hell, we might even both lose for all we know, let’s not get cocky.” He grabbed Louis’ hand and clutched it towards himself, grasping it loosely. “I want you to know that I don’t want to lose just so you’ll win. Or that I believe I have nothing to go back to. I can’t even explain why I’d rather have you win. I guess… it’s just how much I love you. And if that’s not a legitimate reason, I don’t know what is.”

Harry had a hard time figuring out what Louis was thinking with the blank expression he was wearing. He was drawing easy breaths and Harry was trying to decide if Louis was going to fight back or let him have his way. “We should probably find food,” Louis had instead said.

Harry sighed, deciding to let this go. At least he’d gotten Louis’ input on this, and had planted the idea in his mind. Harry figured that was good enough for him.

The two boys stood up, beginning to walk again when Harry heard a loud boom which nearly made him trip, but Louis had saved him. “Thanks.” Okay, that was fifteen lives lost now. Harry gulped. This seemed to be going by way too fast. Hopefully Niall, Liam, and Zayn were okay…

Louis and Harry spent the next hour rummaging the arena for food. They still hadn’t found a water source, and they had reached the point where their mouths were getting dry and desperate for some liquids. Well, okay, desperate to an extent. Harry had his mind set on trying to kill a bird, but so far he hadn’t seen any, which was odd since there was all kinds of chirping in the background. Harry finally averted his attention to the ground rather than sky, and spotted a rabbit running past them on the forest floor.

“Look!” Harry pointed out, as the rabbit moved past them, and Louis claimed to have seen nothing, which ticked Harry off a bit. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that another rabbit entered their sight, and this time had made its existence noticeable. Harry aimed, and shot an arrow into the rabbit, ready to take it apart and eat.

Half an hour later, the two of them were cooking the rabbit over a small fire, quickly putting it out after they were finished, not wanting to blow their cover, since it was getting dark out. It was a surprise, really, how fast the day had gone by. Then Harry remembered this was the Hunger Games and that the Gamemakers controlled the days. They obviously wanted the tributes to let their guards down at night, so more people could die. This was all a show after all.

Louis and Harry ended up sleeping on the forest floor that night, since there was really nowhere else to go. They could have slept in the trees, but they didn’t have enough rope for the two of them. That and Louis was afraid of heights. Instead, they took turns sleeping to make sure nobody got to them in their sleep. Louis took the first shift, and Harry was truly grateful since he was utterly exhausted from the first few hours of the Hunger Games. He felt like a wimp for admitting to that, but what harm could extra sleep do anyway? He had fallen asleep in Louis’ arms, clinging onto his jacket for warmth. The arena wasn’t exactly the warmest at night, and lighting a fire was too risky. Thankfully, he had Louis to keep him from freezing to death.

He was shaken awake what felt like moments after, and desperately begged for five more minutes. Then he felt familiar lips on his neck and found himself smiling, rolling himself into Louis’ arms. Unfortunately, Louis wasn’t smiling and they weren’t in bed. The dreadful realisation finally hit Harry as Louis reminded him it was his turn to watch. Harry almost groaned, wanting to go back to sleep, but he knew he couldn’t do that to Louis, especially since Louis needed sleep if he was going to win.

Louis shifted himself so he was now lying on the ground. “Goodnight, Haz.”

Harry pressed his lips to Louis’ forehead, then let Louis’ body lean against his, holding onto him. Harry felt warmth throughout his body immediately, and it wasn’t just being warm. Just the idea that there was someone so close to him that they were practically one person made him feel less alone, but also more depressed at the brutal truth. The fact that Louis was sleeping in his arms made him smile though. He looked down at Louis’ sleeping face and he couldn’t keep from smiling, feeling a bit creepy for watching him sleep. But he couldn’t help it. Louis’ expression was so relaxed, as if he had completely detached himself from the world into peace and quiet. He looked so happy, as if nothing was bothering him, as if he wasn’t having nightmares. That made Harry question if he was even having nightmares anymore, which made him upset to think that Louis was so bothered by his past that he couldn’t even escape when he closed his eyes. He could only hope things would improve significantly for him after he was crowned victor. Harry knew by now that his death wouldn’t go unnoticed, but someone like Louis could easily find someone to make him happy. Harry couldn’t find any reason to doubt that.

Louis was breathing silently, and everything was still, other than the rising and falling of Louis’ chest against him. It was quiet, and Harry was getting tired himself and caught up in the moment. He almost wanted to just fall asleep with Louis, but as tempting as that was, he knew he had to keep watch, or something could happen.

Leaves began to rustle, and at first Harry assumed that was the wind, but when the rustling grew louder, he found himself shaking Louis awake, trying to be quiet in case someone was coming. He grabbed the knife laying next to him and grasped it tightly in his hands. Louis had sat up, his eyes wandering the area, and Harry knew that someone was coming when he heard footsteps.

Harry was ready to send a knife at the oncoming tributes, but when he heard the familiar sound of Liam’s voice, he brought his knife back down, relief sweeping over him.

“Harry, you’re still alive!” Liam threw his arms around Harry, holding him tight as if he had come back from the dead. When the hug ended, Harry looked behind Liam to see Niall approaching him.

“Good to see you, Nialler,” Harry said in relief, feeling Louis’ body move closer to his.

“We were starting to get worried about you guys,” Niall spoke, his voice a little shaky, ranging from loud whispers to soft murmurs. “There were so many deaths, and we didn’t know if you made it or not.”

“We’re sorry if we scared you,” Liam apologised, setting himself down next to Harry on the ground, Niall moving down as well. “It was actually a coincidence that we stumbled here. We didn’t know we would find you, but we’re so relieved we did.”

Niall nodded in agreement. “It’s been so hard for us. We don’t have any materials. We didn’t want to risk going through the mob of people to get what we needed.”

“There’s a river nearby,” Liam pointed out. “We’ve had our share of water, but other than that, zilch.”

Louis chimed in to the conversation, “We ate a rabbit. They’re actually all over the place, you’d be surprised. When the sun is back up, I’ll show you.” By saying that, Harry now knew that Louis was inviting them to be part of their alliance. And he sure wasn’t going to object to that.

“Why don’t you all go to sleep?” Harry suggested, deciding the best thing to do right now was rest while they still could. “I’ll keep watch.”

“No need,” Louis grabbed Harry by the waist, pulling him closer to him. “We have enough people to have an alliance. Nobody is dumb enough to attack us all at once.” Harry was about to argue, but Louis pecked a kiss onto his cheeks, making him forget what he wanted to say. “Go to sleep, love.”

He was sure Liam and Niall were looking at them with baffled expressions, but he was now so tired that he didn’t even care. He fell asleep the minute his eyes closed, drifting off into his dreams. It seemed he had just barely blinked when he opened them again to see sunlight hitting him from every end. He stretched his arms, careful not to hit Louis, who was still asleep next to him. His attention went to Liam and Niall, who were laying in front of him and Lou, huddled together. Harry couldn’t hold back a smile. They were just too cute. He no longer felt jealous of the two, since he now felt what he and Harry had was really special. Just the way it was.

Harry decided he might as well make himself useful since he was awake. He grabbed the bow and arrows laying next to Louis and wandered off into the woods, careful to know how to head back. He returned about half an hour later, with two dead rabbits in hand. He had prepared them and was cooking them over an open fire when Niall woke up, probably to the smell of food.

“Rabbits?”

Harry nodded, handing one of the legs to Niall. “Here, try some.”

As usual, Niall dug in right away, taking it all in. Throughout training, Harry had observed that Niall had a keen interest in anything having to do with food. Normally this might have seemed a bit ridiculous, but considering he had been starving, it was reasonable for him to be eating this way.

He put the fire out after he was done cooking, and decided it was time to wake Louis up. He didn’t trust leaving the food to Niall, since he wanted it to last for all of them, so he ordered Niall to wake up Liam, while he took a moment himself to wake up Louis.

“Breakfast is ready, babe,” Harry whispered in Louis’ ear and Louis fidgeted, rolling over on the ground, grabbing onto Harry’s leg.

Harry stifled a giggle at the odd gesture, rubbing his fingers over Louis’ delicate face. “Come on, Lou. Wakey wakey.”

“I wish I could say you’re annoying when you’re trying to be cute,” Louis began, his voice lower than usual, obviously taking time to adjust to its normal pitch. “But then that would mean you were always annoying.”

“Ha-ha,” Harry said with sarcasm. “Smooth.”

“It’s too early to make fun.” Louis pulled himself off the ground and walked over to where the cooked rabbits were laying, picking up his share and tossing some of it into his mouth, moaning at the taste. “Mm. So good.”

After they had all eaten their share of food, Liam and Niall lead the way to find their water source. Louis and Harry were so thirsty at this point, they were practically yelling at Liam to hurry up and find them some water.

“If you’re so thirsty, just drink your damn urine,” he finally snapped at them.

“Maybe if I had any and wasn’t dehydrated…” Louis rolled his eyes, legitimately getting annoyed of Liam. Harry did his best to help Louis calm down, assuring him that they were close, and that there was no reason to blame Liam for his dehydration.

When they finally reached the river, he swore the four of them were running to it as if it was calling out to them, ‘drink me!’ which was a bit scary and maybe they were hallucinating. They didn’t drink any of the water until they filtered some of the other particles out with the water bottle in Louis’ bag. They took turns drinking, filling it up again and again, until all of their stomachs ached from drinking too much. They left the river with satisfaction, and Harry felt a lot better than he had this morning. He felt more prepared, ready to shoot at someone if they tried to attack. He was no longer tired or hungry, and he had plenty of water to hopefully keep him hydrated for the rest of the day.

Niall and Liam were back to laughing about random things, and Harry had to constantly remind them to be alert, since anything could happen at any given moment. They had been pondering around for hours, being as quiet as possible, and surprisingly, they hadn’t been attacked.

“Maybe we should stop and rest. We’ve been going around in circles. It’s clear we don’t have an intent on going anywhere else,” Louis pointed out and Harry couldn’t agree more.

“I’ll just be a minute. Nature calls,” Harry announced, then couldn’t help but smirk. “Ha, literally.”

“Be careful. Remember, you’re being watched at all times,” Louis warned him, handing him a knife. “Take this in case.”

Harry almost called him out for being too protective, and he would’ve done so if he didn’t like that Louis cared about him to that extent. As he undid his zipper, Harry thought about how Louis had undressed him… and well, that was all it took to get him a semi. He was still infatuated in his thoughts that he forgot what he was doing in the first place. The moment he zipped his pants back up, he felt something sharp hit him in the back of the arm, as he fell to the ground, grunting in pain. He looked back up to see a young lady staring down at him. Katniss.

Harry remembered he had a knife with him, he would have to thank Louis with kisses later. He was still figuring out what to do when Katniss had knocked him down on the ground, his knife flying a foot away from him. Katniss was on top of him, trying desperately to shove her knife into his face, but she missed every time, except for the last time when she had grown increasingly close. Louis reached for his knife, but he couldn’t get it. He grunted and tried to get Katniss to flip over, but she was too strong.

“You’re really cute. What a shame,” she muttered, a smirk playing on her lips. She had pressed the blade against Harry’s throat, and he gulped, still trying to reach for his knife. He was ready to give up, to die right then and there, when another strategy came to mind.

“Can I just say something?” Harry began, trying to sound as calm as possible. “You have gorgeous eyes.” And he wasn’t lying. She did have pretty blue eyes. Kind of like Louis’, except, well, not.

Sadly, she wasn’t fazed one bit. “Nice try.”

“But wait…” Harry stared deep into her eyes, moving his eyes down to her lips, hoping he can seduce his way out of this. Katniss’ face had softened and she had loosened her grip on the knife. He moved his face closer until their heads were inches apart, and before anything could happen, Harry flipped her around, grabbing the knife from her hands, and pressed it against her neck.

“I’m sorry.” Harry didn’t let the guilt of taking an innocent life get to him, and as Katniss’ facial expression saddened, he slit her throat right then and there, cleaning the blood off the knife with his jacket. He retrieved the other knife and headed back to where the rest of the boys were at.

“What took you so long?” Louis demanded, anger in his voice. His expression softened when he saw that Harry had an extra knife with him. “Where did you get that?” Then he pointed to the obvious cut on Harry’s arm. “What happened?”

Harry explained, “Katniss attacked me.” He didn’t feel the need to go on and explain every detail, since he figured what he had intended was obvious. He tried to forget that he had just killed his first human, as he handed the knife to Louis, revealing blood on his hands.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

“She’s going to fucking pay for this,” Louis growled, grabbing Harry’s arm. He had taken off his jacket, tearing off the sleeve of his shirt, and using it to bandage Harry’s wound.

Harry winced at the pain shooting up his arm. “She already did.” He was surprised he could be so blunt about it, but then again, it’s not like he was ever close to her or anything. Even that thought made Harry worry, the fact that he found taking away a life wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t that he didn’t care or feel guilty. But this was the Hunger Games, where the trick to survival was obviously putting yourself ahead of others, so it wasn’t like Harry had a choice.

“Good,” Louis responded after he finished bandaging Harry up. Niall and Liam had looked worried before, but they had both softened up a bit, relieved that Harry was okay. “There.” He sighed, his eyes full of concern as they pierced into Harry’s. “Don’t you ever leave my sight again, you got that?”

“I won’t.” Harry pressed a kiss to Louis’ right cheek, wrapping his arms over his shoulders, pulling him close. “I can’t thank you enough for giving me the knife.”

“I’m always looking out for you, Haz. You should know that,” Louis whispered that last part into his ear, and Harry couldn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot, once again, feeling unbelievably happy at an inappropriate time.

Harry suddenly backed away from Louis, his eyes squinting together, in horrible pain. He couldn’t forget the excruciating pain in his arm, which was beginning to spread throughout his body. “It hurts, Louis…” He began to complain.

“I swear, if you hadn’t already killed her, she’d be dead by now,” Louis threatened, grabbing onto Harry in an attempt to prevent him from falling over. “I’m gonna go find some rabbits. You stay put.”

“Don’t leave me…” Harry begged, his voice trembling.

Louis smiled slyly, assuring him, “I’ll be back, love. Don’t you worry.”

Harry watched as he headed off into the woods, a bow and arrows in hand. He sighed loudly, pressing his hand against his wounded arm, attempting to ease the pain, but finding he only made it worse by touching it.

“So I see you and Louis finally worked things out,” Liam muttered, moving to stand next to Harry.

“Uh… yeah…”

“You guys are cute,” Niall commented, setting a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “Really, we’re happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Harry forced a smile.

Niall returned the smile and left to get wood to make the job easier on Louis. After all, Harry was the only one with a legitimate excuse to sit out.

Harry looked at Liam and gestured him to sit down next to him. Harry threw his head on Liam’s shoulder, his level of pain sinking as he relaxed. This was different. It was a completely friendly gesture, and simply only to relieve himself of pain. If this had been Louis, it would have affected Harry much differently.

“Word of advice, Li,” Harry began. “Don’t ever get stabbed in the arm. Hurts like a bitch.”

“It’s a shame Katniss had to do it. I kind of liked her. She had a chance,” Liam admitted. “Of course, she did get the same score as you.” He knew Liam was suggesting that Harry had a good chance of making it out alive, but he wasn’t about to explain that he wanted Louis to win more than anything.

“What are you two going to do about… all of this?” Harry found himself asking, curious what Niall and Liam had planned.

“Honestly, we can’t live without each other. I know it might seem silly, but Liam’s everything to me now. And… I just can’t imagine by life without him. We decided we’ll do what it takes to end up together. Even if that means a reenactment of Romeo and Juliet.”

Harry wanted to argue and convince him that that was wrong, but he did find reason with their decision. At least neither of them would have to deal with grief afterwards. Nevertheless, suicide was wrong, but that might be hypocritical in the sense that Harry was practically going through with it. He sighed, his arm forcing him to think of nothing but the pain that was passing through his every nerve, causing every part of his body to wince in excruciating pain. He had to admit, even though everywhere hurt like hell, at least the pain had gotten his mind off other things.

Niall came back with chunks of wood in hand, throwing them onto the ground. He eyed Harry and Liam suspiciously, probably at the position they were in, which was completely harmless. Harry expected him to react badly, but instead Niall moved to sit next to Harry, leaning against him. “How’s the arm?”

“Could be better.”

“I wonder if Zayn’s okay…” Niall sighed, uncertainty in his voice. Harry began to wonder why Zayn hadn’t been with them in the first place, and he felt bad that he hadn’t thought of him sooner. But now that Niall had brought it up, where was Zayn? The thought provoked the whereabouts of Louis, and Harry was starting to get a little worried about Louis. He had gone out all by himself and he hasn’t returned yet. Of course, he did have weapons and with his perfect score, who was stupid enough to mess with him?

“I’m sure he is,” Liam reassured him, giving him a meaningful look.

Thankfully, Harry’s worry disappeared when Louis appeared from between the trees, carrying a dead rabbit covered in blood. “It’s all I could get, I’m sorry.”

“It’s better than nothing,” Liam assured him as Louis set the rabbit next to the pile of wood, ready to make a fire. Liam immediately sat himself down in front of the wood, then shook his hand at Louis. “Sit down. I’ll take care of it.”

Louis looked like he was about to argue since he was hesitant to stop what he was doing, but finally he gave in and stepped away from the wood, letting Liam take over. Within seconds, an open flame sprouted from the wood and the rabbits were ready to cook.

Harry had to eat with the hand that wasn’t wounded, which wasn’t too difficult, since eating wasn’t usually a two-hand job. He finished sooner than he wanted to and found myself wanting more, but he knew there wasn’t anything left. He would have to deal with it for now. After all, it could have been worse. He could be starving.

“So,” Niall wiped his mouth after swallowing his last bite. “How far have you guys gone?”

Harry’s face immediately went red and Liam elbowed Niall followed by a startled shout. “Niall!”

“What? I’m just curious.”

A smirk grew on Louis’ face, an expression Harry hadn’t seen for a while now. He threw an arm over Harry’s shoulder and grinned. “Figure it out, Nialler.” And that shut him up for some time. Things stayed quiet as they began to walk again, deciding it would be best to relocate. Harry was planning on a silent stroll when Louis randomly broke the silence by asking, “Has your hair always been curly?”

The question was so random that Harry had to do a double take. He giggled. “What?”

“I’m serious. How do you manage to get it to look so luscious? What’s your secret? Quality shampoo? A lifetime perm?”

Harry continued to laugh, flattered that Louis was paying so much attention to his hair. “It’s natural, I promise.”

“Really.” Louis looked impressed, and Harry couldn’t hide back a smile when Louis tangled his fingers with Harry’s, as they continued to walk, following Niall and Liam.

The sun had set when the boys heard a cry from the distance. They followed the sound which led them to a river, with a giant rock sitting next to it. It was a cave.

“Help…” Harry heard a soft voice murmur, and his eyes set on the body lying next to the river, practically falling into it. It took him a minute and as they grew closer to the body, they realised it was Zayn, bleeding profusely. He was laying on his back, and Harry saw a huge gape of blood on his chest, obviously not in his heart, otherwise he wouldn’t be alive right now. His jacket was missing, and his white t-shirt was the only thing covering his wound. His dark hair was ruffled up, in a tangled mess. His face was covered in dirt, and Harry could see cuts underneath.

“Oh my God…” Niall murmured, throwing his arms around his best friend. Zayn winced and Niall backed away, not wanting to cause him any more discomfort. “Zayn, what happened?”

“Peeta and Cato… they attacked me.” Zayn grunted, trying to continue to speak. “I stayed in the cave for a while. I came out to get water and they had weapons, I didn’t – I didn’t even see it coming. They aimed the arrow at my heart, but they missed.” Tears sprung from his eyes and his voice was cracking up. “I’m so glad you found me.”

“Those fucking arseholes,” Niall swore silently, kicking the ground next to him, and Liam had set a hand on his shoulder, trying to relax him. “If I’m killing anybody, it’s them.”

“We need to get you help,” Liam eyed the wound carefully, tearing off a part of his shirt, and sticking the fabric to Zayn’s chest. Zayn shook violently, groaning at the pain. “Our sponsor will do something about this, right?”

“Why would he?” Zayn muttered, his breath shagged and uneven, his eyes snapped shut, obviously in excruciating pain.

“I have an idea…” Niall suggested, looking directly at Liam, who was frowning with confusion. Harry was still trying to contemplate what Niall was trying to say when he saw Niall smash his lips against Liam’s, immediately going into a passionate kiss. They pulled away moments later, and Niall smiled. “Okay, we should be good.”

The boys were all confused, curious as to why Niall had done that, when it clearly wasn’t helping Zayn at all. Zayn was still groaning in pain when Liam decided they should head into the cave for the best safety, since it was getting dark out.

“But what if they come back?” Zayn protested the minute they sat him down against the rock in the cave.

“They wouldn’t attack us all at once,” Louis assured him, dropping his body to the ground.

It was quite the place, actually, considering it wasn’t really a real cave. It was really bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. It had an opening in front of them, which was small enough for one person to fit through, and so they had to take turns entering the cave. On the inside, there was a puddle of water to the right of Zayn, which brightened up the cave when sunlight hit it. It was fairly dark on the inside, but not dark enough that they couldn’t see each other.

Harry moved his head to fit in the crane of Louis’ shoulder, and sighed, happy to finally be sitting down after walking for so long. His legs ached and he was starving, but he was sure nobody had the energy to get up and find food. Or at least he didn’t.

Everybody was sitting and it was quiet inside the cave, the sound of water dripping from the top of the cave filling the air. It was peaceful and Harry felt his eyes droop, getting lost in Louis’ embrace, feeling as comfortable as possible. He was just about to fall asleep when he heard a loud buzzer go off, causing him to jump. There was a light coming from outside the cave, and everyone, besides Zayn, went outside to see what was going on.

Up in the sky revealed the names and districts of the tributes that had been killed so far. Harry gulped with uneasiness as each name flashed by, realising that one of these days Louis was going to have to sit here and watch Harry’s face pop up in the sky, just like that. He took a deep breath, trying to remain strong, as he crawled back into the cave, the rest of the boys eventually following behind.

Harry sat back in his original spot and Louis gave him a look of concern, but Harry simply threw himself onto Louis, not wanting to talk about it, since further discussion was pointless. Liam crawled back into the cave, looking happier than he had for hours. He was holding a small bottle in his hands. Whatever it was, it sure had excited him greatly, as well as the other boys.

“What is that?” Louis finally questioned, obviously just as curious as Harry.

“Medicine,” Niall answered with a grin, opening the cap, sticking his fingers inside. “This will heal Zayn.”

“But wait, how did you get your sponsors to give it to you?”

Niall looked at Louis then back at Liam, a smirk covering his face, and Harry seemed to have an idea of what he was referring to. It was the kiss, wasn’t it? “I have my ways…” With Niall’s now obvious expression, Harry knew it had something to do with that. What, had he kissed Liam to put on a show for the audience? Thinking of that made Harry realise that they had really been watched this whole time. He thought through the moments he’d shared with Louis, not just the intimate ones, but the ones where they spoke about their lives, and confessed their feelings. He hoped nothing too personal had slipped his mouth. But it wasn’t like the Gamemakers were watching their every move, right? Either way, Harry wasn’t too worried about what his family thought of Louis. He wouldn’t make it alive to see their reactions anyway.

Zayn sighed with relief as Niall pressed the medicine into his wound. “So much better.”

When Niall finished, a smile had made its way on his face, and Harry could tell he was feeling just as relieved as the rest of the boys knowing that Zayn was going to be okay. Even though Harry and Zayn weren’t particularly close, Harry felt so much more relaxed with the comforting thought that everyone was safe. And with that thought, he closed his eyes and leaned into Louis’ chest, warm sensations filling his body when Louis wrapped his arms around Harry.

“I love you,” Louis whispered in Harry’s ear, and Harry couldn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot.

Subconsciously, Harry heard himself respond with, “I love you more.” And just as he predicted, Louis had smashed their lips together forcefully, completely dominating the kiss, as if to prove Harry otherwise. Unlike usual, Harry wasn’t feeling competitive, and let Louis take over. And frankly, he enjoyed the feeling of being dominated by Louis. He allowed Louis to slide his tongue between his teeth, both of them now practically in each other’s mouth. What had started off as an innocent kiss had now turned into an intense snogging session, and Harry wasn’t quite fond of the idea of having sex while being watched, but the tightness in his pants was telling him otherwise.

Louis pulled away as if he was sharing the same thoughts as Harry. They both smiled at each other bashfully, and it took everything Harry had not to kiss those perfect, pink lips again, which were now redder due to the kissing. Sadly, his attempt had failed when his lips found Louis’ again, pecking them repeatedly. He caressed Louis’ back and pulled him close, having that typical fear that Louis would disappear if they let go of each other. At that moment, nothing else mattered. Harry didn’t even care that the other boys were here with them. Or that they were watching.

Eventually, Louis’ settled in Harry’s arms, the two of them clinging together. Harry smiled and pressed a kiss to Louis’ forehead, resting his head over Louis’. “Goodnight, Boo-bear.”

Harry awoke what felt like minutes later, with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Though he was hesitant to move since the most beautiful man alive was next to him, he came to terms that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. He quickly wormed himself out of Louis’ arms, and made his way out of the cave, careful not to wake anybody up, which was difficult, since it was practically pitch dark. He immediately cursed at himself for forgetting to take a knife along… just in case. When he left the cave for good, Louis’ words from earlier were screaming in his ears.

Don’t you ever leave my sight again, you got that?

The thought almost had Harry turning back, but his bladder got the better of him. He distanced himself from the cave, moving to the darkest area he could find, so that he could have some privacy from the cameras. He finished quickly and started to retrace his steps, which was presumably difficult since it was pitch black and the cave was nowhere to be seen. Harry, now panicking, continued to walk frantically in every possible direction, trying desperately to find his way back, but he knew in the back of his mind that he was lost.

He didn’t know what to do at that point, and there was no point in continuing to try since he was already lost, so he figured he might as well crash here for the night. He forced comforting thoughts to enter his mind as he laid his body down on the ground, imagining Louis’ arms around him so he could get to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

When Harry’s eyes first opened, he didn’t notice the sudden sunlight shining down on him. He also didn’t notice that his body was wrapped inside a net, completely restraining him into a trap. He must have been captured in his sleep. His first reaction was to reach into his pocket and grab his knife, and thankfully, his knife hadn’t been taken. He cut himself out of the ropes, breathing heavily at the amount of energy it took to complete that one task. He remembered that he’d ended up here last night after getting lost, and Louis’ face peaked inside his mind, reminding him that he was in deep shit for leaving. He had only begun to evaluate his surroundings when he felt hands cover his face, knocking him to the ground.

“Get off me!” Harry yelled feeling a body jump on top of him. He didn’t know who it was until the hands were removed from his face, revealing a petite female with blonde hair, almost looking familiar.

“Because saying that will totally get you laid,” the girl rolled her eyes, and Harry tried to push her body off of him, but the girl had already proceeded to wrap her hands around Harry’s neck. Harry made a choking sound and tried to breathe, but it was no use. She was strangling him to death.

Harry grunted, using all of his strength to bring the knife up off the ground to kill this bitch. He dodged the knife into her throat, blood immediately flowing onto him. Disgusted, he pushed the corpse off of his body, shuddering at what he had just witnessed. He couldn’t help but feel that that had been too easy, and frankly, he had been expecting more of a fight.

The forest was quiet after the boom went off, and Harry was still trying to catch his breath. Then he could’ve sworn he heard something approaching him from behind. He heard heavy breathing and the sound of footsteps rustling over the grass, and turned around to see a young lady crying before him. He took a moment to familiarise himself with the face and finally guessed it was Eleanor.

Harry walked over to her, his knife still in hand, and a solemn expression was written on his face as he tried to understand why she was so upset, without getting too close.

“You killed my best friend!” Eleanor spat out, angry tears rushing down her face. “How could you?!”

“She tried to kill me!” Harry protested, trying to calm down the screaming girl.

“I don’t care! You…” Eleanor’s eyes moved to the ground, and she was shaking her head softly. Then when she looked back up, her eyes pierced directly into Harry’s, cold and dead. “You’re selfish!”

Okay, that hurt Harry more than he was going to admit. He didn’t usually let insults get to him, but to think that someone could judge him so quickly without even getting to know him, really upset him. He hadn’t even noticed the angry tears that were springing out of his eyes when he lunged at Eleanor, fighting to keep the grip on his knife. He swung it back and forth, but soon discovered she was a difficult target. He was ready to send the knife into her chest, but then her arm came forwards, smacking Harry across the face, blood immediately rushing to his cheeks.

“Ugh!” he groaned, his face burning. Harry, now pissed off, used every bit of his energy to jab his knife into Eleanor’s heart, not only wanting to make sure she died for good, but that she would die slowly and painfully.

Eleanor went flying towards the ground, screaming and shaking, until her voice receded, her eyes becoming still as well as the rest of the body. “Y-you deserve… to d-die,” she had barely managed to stutter her last words when Harry lunged at her again, stabbing her repeatedly in the chest, as tears continued to stream down his face. He wasn’t sure what upset him the most. The fact that this stranger had hoped for him to die or that he had killed an innocent human simply for insulting him. Harry tried to convince himself that that wasn’t the only reason he had killed her.

He wanted to get up and find the boys, and forget what he had done, but he couldn’t find the motivation to get up. What if Eleanor was right? What if he really did deserve to die? Not once in Harry’s life had he believed he was truly horrible enough to get a death wish, but now that he had brought the idea into consideration, he found himself agreeing with the dead body lying beside him.

Eventually Harry pulled himself together, his stomach demanding that he eat something. He cleaned the blood off his knife, deciding that was a good idea before he used it to hunt for food. He devoured the rabbit quickly, tastes filling his senses, helping him forget what wasn’t important. What was important now was finding his way back to the cave. Lucky for him, it was bright out now, and it shouldn’t be too difficult for him to retrace his steps.

After spending what felt like forever traveling down different areas of the forest, he finally found a familiar river, with the same cave lurking behind it. He knew that spot anywhere. He was feeling anxious to see the boys again, knowing Louis was going to bite his head off for leaving him again, but excited that he would get to see Louis after being apart for so long. It was beginning to worry him how attached he had gotten to the older boy. Just the thought of him made him weak to the bone.

He crawled into the cave, prepared to see the four boys inside, but the empty space he faced shot complete disappointment through him. Now where could they have gone? Harry didn’t know how long he’d been gone exactly, just that he had been gone for the remainder of the night. Had they gone to look for him? Harry’s breathing grew narrow as overwhelmed thoughts began to fill his mind, worries hitting him at every end, warning him that something was off.

Harry inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to relax himself, but didn’t find the need to do so. He had to find them. He needed to see Louis again. He began to make his way around the forest, searching every corner for his friends. He was ready to collapse from exhaustion at this point, but desperation had gotten the best of him, and there was no way he could stop now.

He heard sudden screaming from a distance, and his heart leaped in his chest with the unintentional fear that something had happened to Louis. He held his knife firmly in his hand as he tried to follow where the noise had come from. He made paces to the area, by hiding behind trees and making a run for it, in case he was being followed. Within the next few minutes, he spotted two bodies from the distance, and it had taken him a moment to identify them as Louis and Liam’s. Relief washing over him, he made his way over to Louis, a wide grin on his face. Unfortunately, his happiness disappeared when he noticed the expression on Louis’ face, and how upset he looked. In fact, his entire physique practically screamed that something was wrong. With that realisation, he then looked down at Liam, who was lying motionless on the ground.

“What’s wrong, Lou?” Harry asked in a calm voice, laying a hand on Louis’ cheek.

Louis’ head fell over Liam’s chest, and Liam was groaning, appearing to be in much pain. Harry’s heart skipped a couple of beats at Liam’s condition. What happened?

“Louis,” Harry repeated himself, the uneasiness settling in again. “What’s wrong?”

“L-liam… he…” Louis was now sobbing uncontrollably, his head still on Liam’s chest. When he lifted his head back up to look at Harry, Harry nearly jumped five feet when he saw the enormity of the blood covering Louis’ face, obviously coming from Liam.

Harry’s eyes went to Liam, who was now breathing uncomfortably, his body shaking in pain. Blood covered his chest, and it filled Harry with uneasiness as he hurried to grab his hand, hearing his pulse which was slowing down with every second. Harry could feel every part of his body aching to save Liam. “We need to help him.”

Louis automatically replied, “H-he’s already d-dying-”

“He’s still alive!” Harry shouted back, letting his anger get the better of him. He shook Liam by the shoulders, carefully at first, then more violently. He convinced himself that this was working, that Liam would be okay… but the stillness of Liam’s body had Harry jumping at his throat. “Liam. Liam, speak to me.” Liam didn’t move. “Fuck! Wake up, Liam! Please!” Harry exclaimed, tears rushing down his face, blurring his vision. He wiped them away quickly, then used his anger to slap Liam’s cheek as hard as he could, not once, but twice. “Wake up, damn it!”

He threw his head on Liam’s chest, and immediately slammed his hand against his chest in a desperate attempt to hear him breathe, but there was nothing. He continued to hit Liam, sobs escaping him as he eventually gave up, throwing himself onto Liam, begging him not to die. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Wake up! You’re not dead, do you hear me?! You’re not dead! LIAM!” Harry wailed, pressing his face into the blood in Liam’s chest, desperate to get a heartbeat out of him. A loud boom pounded in Harry’s ears, and his wailing grew louder. His mind refused to grasp that his best friend had just died.

Harry remained on Liam’s chest, motionless and numb, and it seemed that eons of time had passed when Harry finally picked himself off of Liam’s body to face Louis, who looked equally as upset as Harry. Harry began to speak, his voice undoubtedly shaky. “W-what… h-h-happened?”

“An… arrow was shot into his heart,” Louis responded in a calm tone, his fingers trembling as he spoke.

Harry was still suppressing sobs between his words, and he only managed to get out, “Who s-shot it?”

“Harry…” Louis trailed off, the look his face penetrating into Harry’s soul, and Harry predicted that this wasn’t going to be pretty. Louis looked awful, to say the least. His face was drenched with sweat and tears, and he was shaking everywhere, just as he had when he’d told Harry his secret. If Harry wasn’t too overwhelmed with his own emotions, he would’ve hugged him at that moment. Louis was also blinking rapidly, as if he was trying to blink the tears away. “I…” His face grew wrinkled as he finally broke, sobs exploding out of him as he hid his face into his hands. “It was me.”

Harry’s expression deepened into a frown, unsure of what Louis had meant. “What?”

“I killed Liam!” Louis shouted, sobs being pressed into his hands, his words muffled and confusing. “I didn’t mean to-”

Harry picked himself off the floor before Louis could continue to explain, and he stomped his feet onto the ground, as if trying to find a way to release the newfound anger. He didn’t know what to do, what to think, what to feel. Every part of him had tensed, making him absolutely furious, and he couldn’t even bear to look at Louis, unable to believe that Louis, this boy he was in love with, had killed his own best friend. The anger had continued to built up until he was finally convinced of Louis’ wrongdoing.

“How could you?!” He yelled at Louis, staring into the familiar blue eyes that he used to trust. “He was my best friend! What the fuck did he do to deserve this?!”

Louis’ voice beamed under Harry’s outburst, “Harry-”

“Why did you kill him?!” Harry shouted back at Louis, continuing to pace frantically, his hands clenched, as he fought the urge to punch Louis in the face. “I thought you liked him! I thought you loved me!” The tears that Harry had been holding back now released again, like a waterfall, except this time, it didn’t stop.

“I d-”

“Don’t even…” Harry raised his fist at Louis, a threatening glare surpassing his face, directed straight at Louis. “Don’t even say it! If you loved me, you wouldn’t have killed him. Or you know, maybe it’s not even that. You just care about yourself! You just want to win! What do you have to go back to anyway? Your fucking family? As if they’ll want to go back to a killer!” Harry paused to catch his breath, his anger immediately fueling itself. He paid no attention to Louis, who was now sobbing worse than him, but also shaking in a way Harry had never seen before.

“That’s what you are, right? A killer. That’s all you’ve ever been! Maybe I found it okay that you killed your own father, but this? Liam?! Are you fucking kidding me? You know, I hope you do make it out of this alive, so you’ll go back to your family and they’ll see how disgusting you are. Maybe if you’re lucky they won’t disown you like your father did!”

“Shut up!” Louis finally shouted back, the anger exploding out of his voice in a way that Harry had never seen. “You know what? I was wrong to have ever trusted you! To think that you would understand me? That you actually accepted the fact that I’m a monster?! That’s right. A monster. I said it! Just-just don’t bother. Trust me, I don’t need you pointing out how horrible I am, because trust me, fucking trust me, Harry! I already know!”

“Do you? Do you really?! I don’t think you understand what you’ve done! You took away an innocent life, and worse, it was your own friend!”

“You’re such a hypocrite,” Louis spat out, clenching his teeth, looking as if he was ready to blow again. “How is that any different than what you did?! At least think about what you’re saying before you actually say it!”

That was the problem. Harry wasn’t thinking. It was all pure impulse now. Louis’ words brought back the incident earlier, and Eleanor’s words bounced through his head, reminding him that he deserved to die. It seemed that everything that had happened in the past had only prepared him for this moment. Harry threw his hands in the air, blinking hard. “Just stop it, Louis! Honestly. Your attitude fucking sickens me! Acting like your life sucks so much when it’s not even that bad! You’re just a crybaby who wants attention, and you know it!”

“At least I had good reason to kill him! At least I never picked on someone for being gay. I’ve never bulled anyone!”

Harry couldn’t believe Louis was doing this. Blaming him for something that had happened so long ago. He ignored the consideration that he had been doing the same, and continued to toss words at Harry, as if it was necessary to relieve himself of everything he felt. “You don’t even know what you’re saying, do you? Of course you don’t! You never do!”

“Like you know what you’re talking about half the time! Half of what you say is complete bullshit. I bet you didn’t even mean the things you said when you tried to comfort me! It was all just an act so you could get close to me and hurt me! You’re a liar, Harry! A fucking li-”

Harry threw a punch at Louis’ cheek, cutting him off, and Louis reacted quickly, sending his arm flying into Harry’s face, and as they continued to punch blows at each other, they were both on the ground in a matter of seconds.

Harry began to shove Louis off of him, wanting to get him at the right angle to punch him in the stomach. Punch him in the fucking guts. He grimaced, his breath staggered, but his words fully audible. “Why not go easy on me? After all, you are the killer here.”

“Fuck you!” Louis shouted at Harry, his voice now at its highest peak as he shoved Harry further into the ground, sending blow after blow into his chest, then continued to kick him when he couldn’t move any longer.

Harry groaned on the forest floor, as tears began to escape his eyes, not only at the pain, but because it was Louis who was inflicting the pain. He couldn’t believe this was the same man he had said he loved last night. Harry tried to shake off the pain, attempting to fight back several times, but eventually gave up and allowed Louis to continue to hurt him.

Harry coughed, his throat raspy from the amount of tears he’d shed. He groaned, wanting this to be over already. At this point, there was nothing to live for anyway. “Just kill me already,” he choked out, the blood pounding in his cheeks as he tried to refrain from crying again.

Louis’ punching and kicking continued for a matter of seconds, and Harry was preparing himself to die, waiting eagerly for Louis to finish him, but instead watched as Louis moved away from him, his eyes full of mixed emotions, revealing how upset he was.

“You know, Harry? I loved you, I r-really did,” Louis’ voice cracked, his nose sniffling. “I still do now but if you’re just going to act like this, then I don’t know how this is going to work.”

“At least we agree on one thing,” Harry admitted, his voice calming down, but his sobs still muffling his words together.

Louis sighed, breathlessly, his expression immediately growing bitter again. “Stay out of my sight,” he spat out in a monotonous tone, as he took off in the other direction, leaving Harry lying motionless on the ground.

Harry snapped his eyes shut, desperately trying to forget that this ever happened, that him and Louis never happened. But he couldn’t. The pain was too fresh and Harry didn’t know how to handle it. His entire body had stiffened and he refused to move – no, he couldn’t move. He wished Louis had killed him, he really wished Louis had just put him out of his misery, because now he would have to do it himself, and he knew he didn’t have the willpower to do so.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

After hours of mental struggle, Harry eventually dropped his knife to his side, an indication that he wasn’t going to resort to suicide, for the matter of the fact that doing so would only make him look weak, not that he was feeling particularly great at that point. He drew in an easy breath in an attempt to relax and forget about Louis. He tried to remember his life before he had met the selfish bastard, but found it hard to do so. Even after the horrible things Louis had said to him, and even the physical violence, Harry was still having a hard time believing that whatever they had before was over.

Tears were threatening to escape his tired eyes, and memories were filling his head as if feeding wood to a fire, and he was on the edge of breaking with every thought. Other than the intense pain he was undergoing, his condition could be best described as paralyzed, or rather, numb. As each memory robbed him of his thoughts, the sensations overthrew him, but even then he couldn’t find the strength to move. The suicidal thoughts had passed, but not the feelings of hopelessness, and Harry was simply tired of feeling, and had shut down. He wanted nothing more than to forget everything and move on and maybe even win the Games, since he had no reason not to anymore. But Harry just didn’t see the point in that.

He wanted to say that he felt guilt over the terrible things he’d said to Louis, but after everything that happened, he didn’t feel any remorse to bringing Louis down. In fact, he believed Louis deserved every bit of the taunting. He would never forgive him for killing his best friend. Harry didn’t care what his intentions were, whether he meant to do it or not, whether this whole thing was just a silly mix-up. None of that mattered. Harry would have been just as angry even if Liam hadn’t been killed. At least the incident helped Harry see the person underneath Louis’ shell. And that person wasn’t who Harry thought he was.

Harry never found it difficult to trust anybody, in fact, he practically trusted everyone who seemed to be on his side. Never had his trust truly been broken before. Even when his father left, nothing was lost in the end because there wasn’t really any trust to begin with. But this was different. Nothing could have prepared Harry to losing the one person he cared about the most, or so he thought. It wasn’t that he didn’t know he was going to lose Louis, but that he never thought he would lose him like this. Everything was unexpected and Harry was having the most difficult time trying to convince himself that this was real, that this really happened, but his mind refused to acknowledge that. Instead, he spread his body across the ground, pretending that everything was normal and nothing hurt. In fact, he was so preoccupied in trying not to think that he didn’t notice the sound of footsteps approaching him.

Even when Harry finally caught on that there someone was coming, he made no move to get up. He remained still, watching and waiting for them to reveal themselves. His body tensed slightly when he saw Niall and Zayn emerge from the trees, slowly making their way over to Harry, passing Liam’s corpse, which still hadn’t been removed. Harry could see the horrified expression Niall’s face and it was obvious he was pretending his lover’s dead body wasn’t lying before him. When the two boys neared Harry, they simply sat down in the grass next to Harry, without a word.

Harry observed their faces, both scrutinized and devastated. Zayn looked bloody awful as it was, but that wasn’t saying much in comparison to Niall. Niall eyebrows were pushed together, creating a frown. His eyes were bloodshot and fluttering rapidly, and his lips were trembling as if he was trying to hold back the tears. His breath had grown shallow, and he had his arms crossed over his knees, in an attempt to pull himself together, which wasn’t exactly working. Harry was doing a better job at composing himself, since he’d had more recovery time, but he knew with the tension in the air that the two of them were far from okay.

“Louis killed him…” Harry finally blurted out, a bit resilient at first from being quiet so long. He figured they needed to know the truth, despite how staggering it was.

“We know,” Zayn responded, his voice soft and downcast. “He told us.”

Harry should have been angry. He should have been swearing every name in the book. He should have cared that Louis had gone and told his friends about this little incident, that it was a foolish endeavor to turn the others against Harry. But Harry felt nothing as Zayn’s words lulled over him.

“I-it was an accident, Harry,” Niall stammered, his words muffling together. He had stopped talking, but only for a brief moment to collect himself. “He didn’t mean to kill him.”

Harry stared into the sky, still rejecting the need to care. “Why should I believe that?”

Niall settled himself, removing his hands from his knees and now sat on the grass with his legs crossed into a seemingly comfortable position. “When we all woke up this morning, you were gone. Louis threw a fit, saying that you promised you’d never leave him… All in all, he was freaking out and maybe a little too much.”

Harry felt a bit unnerved to the fact that Louis had cared, but he shook it away with the realisation that that had been the past.

“He wanted to look for you, and Liam insisted that he didn’t go alone, so the two of them left while I stayed behind with Zayn. Well, apparently they were jumped. By Peeta and Cato,” Niall nodded his head in affirmation, as if he knew Harry was going to question him. “They had to split up to confuse the two, since they couldn’t possibly go after them both at once. I don’t know the details very well, but all I know is Louis was on the verge of getting a knife down his throat, but he somehow escaped and ran off. He was by himself now, you see… and then…” Niall stiffened, relapsing back into the condition he had been in minutes ago. “He was panicking… he couldn’t see… he heard someone approaching… He was barely looking when he shot the arrow…” A few tears had gushed out from Niall’s eyes and he made no effort trying to brush them away. “I-it was an accident.”

Harry had a minor setback, taking a minute to consider everything Niall had said, trying to play the event out in his head. He remembered the way Louis had acted before today. How he seemed to care for Harry, how he said he’d always be there. The fact that he’d go out of his way and risk his life to save Harry was believable, as well as what it had triggered. The sudden realisation that Niall had been very convincing struck a nerve, and Harry couldn’t stop the sobs that were already seeping out of him. What if it really had been an accident? He put himself in Louis’ position. The way Harry had mocked him for his past, judged him so cruelly, and all because he was upset with him. Even then, Louis still had his share of insults, but Harry presumed he had only said those things to defend himself. He couldn’t even put a finger on how his words must have affected Louis…

Harry hadn’t even meant a thing he said to Louis. He didn’t understand how he had even brought up half the things he said, when he hadn’t thought of them before. Calling Louis an attention whore? Louis hardly ever spoke to anyone about his problems, and he had trusted Harry, and what did Harry do in return? He let him down in the end. Harry had even done what he regretted the most, taunting Louis for his past when that was something he swore he would never do. He never intended to hurt Louis in the first place. Louis’ actions were unintentional, whereas Harry’s wasn’t, and that’s what was the harbinger of the guilt Harry felt.

He was torn between apologising to Louis or simply letting this go and moving on with the Hunger Games, just as he had planned before anything had happened between them. That was what he always wanted, wasn’t it? To avoid the boy he loved in order to save himself the grief. But the way Harry felt without the boy was horrendous and the only way to get around that would involve an apology. Harry wished it were only that easy. Louis had told him to stay out of his sight, and Harry knew talking to him was only an invitation to make things worse. But he couldn’t simply leave this alone. He had to do something to show Louis that he was sorry and believed that he had made a mistake. If only he knew how.

Harry recollected himself from his thoughts and it was to his surprise that Niall was bawling his eyes out hysterically in Zayn’s arms. Harry himself had moisture on his cheeks, but seeing Niall this way only caused more tears to frantically spill down his face. He sighed, inserting himself into the hug, feeling the warmth of the other two bodies against his, which helped him relax a bit.

Harry patted Niall on the back delicately, muttering sympathetic words to him over and over, “It’s gonna be okay, I’m so sorry…” Harry didn’t know if sympathy was what Niall wanted, but he couldn’t stand to watch him act this way.

He had been so focused on thinking of Louis that he hadn’t even made time to reminisce the good times with Liam. Harry couldn’t believe that he was really dead. He half expected Liam to come running to them, smiling and laughing like he usually did, questioning why they were all crying. He tensed again, angry at Louis again for doing this to him. To all of them. As memories of Liam flooded Harry’s mind, he had to take a break every now and then to convince himself that what Louis had done really was an accident, and that he needed to stop blaming him for Liam’s death no matter how much he wanted to.

He remembered that they were in the Hunger Games and that they were being watched. Hell, this whole incident was probably the highlight of the show. He wondered what was going on back at home, how everyone was reacting to everything, to Liam’s death… Harry took to consideration how Liam’s family felt about his death. If they were watching, Harry could only imagine how petrified they were with the unspeakable news. And thinking back to the row with Louis, what would his parents think of Harry after his explosion at Louis? And more importantly, what were Louis’ parents thinking now that they knew the truth? That only gave Harry more guilt, and made him truly regret saying anything to Louis. He should have done the mature thing and left Louis alone for a while. That way Harry could have released his anger in a healthier way than blowing up on Louis.

“Where do you think he is?” Zayn asked, Harry immediately giving the question some thought. “Louis.”

“I sure hope he’s okay,” Niall said in an undertone, his voice soft and lifeless.

It wasn’t long until darkness had begun to settle in, and the three of them were fighting to stay awake, afraid of what would happen if they were to close their eyes. They had spent the past thirty minutes circling the area, picking the best flowers they could find. Harry decided Liam deserved a proper memorial before the Gamemakers disposed of his body, whether or not Louis was here.

Harry had four tulips, six magnolias, and as many daisies his hands could carry. All three of the boys held about the same amount of flowers in their hands as they carefully set them down on and around Liam’s body, the essence of it all bringing tears to Harry’s eyes. He could only sit himself down next to the boy to keep himself from sobbing right then and there. Niall and Zayn gathered to the opposite side, all three of them gazing at the corpse beneath them.

“I suppose I’ll go first,” Zayn intervened, sighing softly to himself as his head hung low, giving his full attention. “Liam. I know we weren’t close, but you were always so much fun to talk to. You had a great sense of humour and you always cheered us up – all of us – when we were feeling down. You were also very kind, especially to Niall. God knows the wonders you’ve done for him. And I can’t thank you enough for coming into our lives. It’s just a shame you had to leave us so soon. But I suppose everything happens for a reason, and whatever reason that might be, God knows what he’s doing. And hopefully you’re seeing that where you are.” Zayn paused, another sigh surpassing his mouth as he grabbed hold of Liam’s left hand. “I’ll see you in the next life, my friend.” Silence filled the air for a matter of seconds as the words absorbed into each of the boys’ heads, the perfect atmosphere now falling into place.

“Liam James Payne,” Harry commenced, the volume of his voice elevating as he struggled to keep himself together. “I’ve never spoken on behalf of anyone, since I haven’t had the chance to ever attend a funeral. I’m sure you’d do a much better job at this if you were here, but since you’re not…” he lingered, fighting to carry on despite how much he wanted to simply dissolve into tears. “You were my best friend, Liam. Li. Li-Li. We were so close. So close I’m surprised we weren’t born brothers. We were always too comfortable around each other. We told each other everything, even when it wasn’t completely necessary. Especially when we really didn’t need to know about certain things. But that’s okay because that’s exactly how our friendship worked.

“You know, I’ll admit, sometimes your light-heartedness and optimistic attitude could get a little annoying. Very annoying most of the time,” Harry emitted a laugh after a few droplets of water escaped his eyes. “But that’s what I adored the most about you. How you could make anyone feel better just by smiling, or cracking a joke. Sometimes you’d even laugh to hide the pain, and that seemed to get you through it. You were always so supportive. No matter what I told you, you always seemed to accept it without judging me or anything, granted you did have some pointers here and there. I’ll never forget the first time we met. It was the second day of fourth grade and you were new to the school. You were really shy back then, which is funny considering how outgoing you were. But I managed to get you out of your shell in no time.”

Harry stared up at the sky above him then back down at Liam, sighing deeply. “You know, it’s funny how even though you’re not here with us anymore, I can still feel your presence. I guess in a way you’ve become a part of me – a part of all of us – and we’ll always feel you right here,” he pressed his hand against his chest, gesturing to his heart. “I know you didn’t choose for any of this to happen, but I hope that wherever you are now, you are happy. As Zayn said, everything happens for a reason and even though this was a mistake, I really do believe God has a plan for you and everything will be okay in the end. And I hope you know that your death isn’t going unnoticed either. Not by me, not by any of us, not by your friends and family back at home. I know I could say so much more, but I feel like if I keep talking, I’ll only start babbling nonsense.” Harry took a deep breath, trying to slow down his heartbeat so he could finish speaking. “I’ll never forget you, Liam. You were and always will be my best friend. You are so special and dear to me and I hope you know that nobody will ever replace you.” Harry stared at Liam’s face for a matter of seconds, until his tears slipped off his face and onto Liam’s, and he wiped them away, sniffing his nose. “You will be missed.”

Niall knotted his fingers with Liam’s, moving closer to the body, and when he spoke, he surprisingly sounded the most relaxed out of the other two boys. “It’s kinda funny how we always fought over the last goodbyes, and, well, it looks like you’ve won fair and square,” Niall scoffed, smiling a little with his eyes full of tears. “You know, it’s not the fact that you weren’t supposed to die that bothers me most, but that I wasn’t here for your last minute on earth. But then again, how was I supposed to know this would happen?” Niall tightened his grip, sinking further into the ground, his voice still completely fluid and coherent. 

“I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I know we weren’t together for long, but during the short time we had together, I realised a couple of things. That you’re the most important person in my life and I don’t regret a moment I spent with you. I’ve never met anyone like you, not even remotely close. You showed me things nobody else could. You showed me that I’m capable of being loved and most importantly, you showed me how to love. I never got to show you how much you truly mean to me, but I, Niall James Horan, love you, Liam James Payne, with every fiber of my being.” His nose sniffled and he pressed his hand to his nostrils. “If only we had just one more day together, because I know it’s too late and you’re already in Heaven, looking down on us. I guess that was just something I had to get off my chest.”

Niall stifled a small smile, sighing softly as he repositioned himself on the ground. “I know it’s silly to ask and I’m not good with words, but if you could save a spot for me up there… I would really appreciate it. I miss you so much, as do the rest of the boys. I hope you know that it was all an accident, Louis didn’t mean to do it. Please…” His voice cracked, as he stiffened when the gathered tears finally fell down his cheeks. “Please don’t forget about me, Liam. Please know I will never forget about you. Ever. You have touched my life to such an extent, I don’t think I’m capable of ever moving on, but I promise you I will try. I know I’m pouring my heart out to you and ruining the good nature of your memorial, but this is my one and only chance to say what I wanna say. What I would give to hear your voice again, to feel your kiss…” Niall broke into tears, cries escaping him, but Harry could see that he was still trying to contain himself.

“I love you so, so much. I can’t believe… I can’t believe you’re really gone. I don’t think I’ll ever accept it.” Niall pulled his hand away from Liam’s, falling into Zayn’s arms where he proceeded to cry. “G-goodbye, Liam.”

Harry patted Niall on the back, trying to comfort Niall even though he wasn’t exactly stable himself. The boys spent the rest of the night, tangled in each other’s arms, motionless and quiet, until they fell asleep, exhausted and wanting to escape from reality.

When Harry awoke the next morning he felt a warm body underneath him. At first he presumed it was Louis but when he recalled yesterday’s events and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he realised it was only Niall. He carefully lifted himself off of Niall, not wanting to disturb the poor boy. Niall was expressionless, his eyes closed, his soft and steady breathing alternating to troubled breathing then back to normal. Harry looked for Liam’s body next to him, but when his eyes found the empty space in place of where he was supposed to be, he came to the realisation that his body had been removed while they were asleep. It was a good thing they had his memorial already. Harry just couldn’t help but wonder what they did with his friend’s body.

He set matters aside and decided it might be a good idea to get up and find food, but honestly, that was the least of his worries. Instead Harry laid himself onto the ground again, thinking of Louis and speculating where he was. Harry hadn’t said a word to him or seen him since yesterday when hell broke loose between them, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to see how that had affected Louis. Surely Louis couldn’t have gone and done something stupid, could he? Harry could only hope and pray that Louis was okay, and not lying in the middle of nowhere, crying and contemplating suicide, like Harry had yesterday.

“Attention, tributes,” an announcer blared out of nowhere, catching the boys off guard. Zayn jumped himself awake while Niall rolled to his side in confusion. “In a few minutes there will be a feast, if you will, where each of you can get something that will help you survive. It is recommended that you show up.”

Harry wasn’t sure if they really wanted to help the tributes, or were using this as a way to kill more of them. Either way, Harry wasn’t thrilled with the idea of fighting over materials with the promise of death. Although going would be a death wish, Harry didn’t particularly favor living much at this point, so perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea to go.

“Are you guys ready?” Zayn asked the two boys, after devouring his share of rabbit, and straightening himself out.

Harry didn’t say anything, but proceeded to stand up with reluctance. He looked back at Niall who was still seated next to the extinguished fire, sitting still. It was like he was in his own little world. He was so out of it that he hadn’t even touched his food, which was completely unnatural since food was a sixth sense for that boy.

As if Harry wasn’t worried enough about the boy, Zayn shot him a look of concern, obviously just as affected by Niall’s odd behaviour. “Niall?”

“I’ll be fine,” Niall responded in a snappy tone, rolling himself onto the ground and into a fetal position, his eyes staring at the food he’d left behind.

Harry took it that Niall wasn’t going with them and he wasn’t fond of forcing him to go when he was trapped in this state of shock. Zayn and Harry left their friend lying on the forest floor, as they headed towards where the ‘feast’ would be held.

It was strange. The idea of continuing to live their lives without Liam. It almost felt wrong leaving the crime scene, as if they should have stayed behind to grieve and mourn Liam’s death. But Harry knew they would be getting nowhere if they were to allow themselves that.

It didn’t seem to take very long for them to find the Cornucopia, which made Harry consider the size of the arena. Had it shrunk? He could have sworn it had been bigger before. Perhaps Harry had just gotten used to it that it was simply easier to navigate. The familiar area looked just as it had the first day of the Hunger Games. Inside the Cornucopia, there were bags full of material that also spread into the grass, just as it had been before. Harry and Zayn were still hidden inside the trees, inspecting the area seeing that the coast was clear and maybe it was a little too quiet.

A little girl popped out from the forest, the opposite side of the boys, and sprinted to the Cornucopia, grabbing a backpack and quickly heading back the way she came from. It was almost too easy. With that in mind, Harry and Zayn shared a glance where they telepathically questioned whether or not they should go for it.

Eventually, Harry found himself running towards the horn-shaped structure as if his life depended on it, and the irony of that thought almost made him smile. He was about to grab a bag when he heard a scream and turned to see Zayn being hurled to the ground by none other than the famous Peeta.

Harry inched towards Peeta, struggling to pull him off of his friend. “Oh no you d-” Then he was pushed onto the ground, his eyes automatically shutting down as a reaction to his head being smashed against the ground. Pain shot through him immediately, and when he opened his ideas, his jaw dropped open at the sight of Louis on top of him.

Louis looked relatively the same since the last time Harry had seen him, the bags under his eyes indicating that not only was he exhausted, he wasn’t particularly thrilled to see Harry either. Harry opened his mind to speak, but Louis threw a punch at his face. The gesture didn’t just hurt Harry because it was a punch, but the fact that Louis was still upset made him feel like absolute shit. And as if that wasn’t hinting it already, it only took a moment of disbelief for Harry to realise that Louis had defended Peeta by keeping Harry from saving Zayn.

And that’s when he understood that Louis had joined forces with Peeta and Cato.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Louis’ gaze fell upon Harry and Harry could feel the tension between the two of them, for once the closeness was sending him flying off the edge, and not in the good way either. Louis stared at Harry, his blue orbs intensifying as they peered into Harry’s soul, as if tormenting him for thinking that Louis had meant to kill Liam.

Taking that now was as good a time as any, Harry tried to speak under Louis’ taunting gaze, finding it hard to do so. “Louis.” It came out abrupt and snappy, as if it was truly a struggle to say his name. Louis was still staring, in a way that didn’t reveal what he was thinking, and that made Harry all the more afraid. “I believe you when you said you didn’t mean to kill Liam. Niall told me all about it. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Louis’ expression hadn’t faltered and Harry knew that wasn’t the end of his apology. “I’m sorry about all the horrible things I said to you. I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just angry and stupid and didn’t know how to react so I put it all on you. I’m truly sorry, Louis,” Harry choked out, his breathing becoming quick and narrow at how unnaturally fast he had spoken. He noticed that Louis looked less troubled and seemed to be in a muse of thoughts, but that didn’t keep him from going on. “I want you to believe me when I say I didn’t mean a thing I said. You are not a killer, Louis. Just because you killed one person, that does not automatically deem you a serial killer. With that knowledge, the real killer would be me.” Harry had even lost track of how many tributes he’d killed, which was definitely not a good sign and proved how everything he’d said to Louis was hypocritical. “Please know that everything I said was out of pure rage and I never meant to hurt you. I’m so, so sorry.”

Louis surprisingly looked convinced with his face cleared of tension, reminding Harry of the way Louis acted normally. Though Harry still wasn’t comfortable with Louis on top of him in this situation, he found himself growing a bit relaxed with the emotionless look on Louis’ face. He finally let out a sigh, his eyes beaming into Harry’s, solemn and a bit upset. “You really hurt me, Harry. And whether you meant it or not, you still said it to me.” Louis paused, and Harry opened his mouth to defend himself but fell to silence in hesitation. “As much as I want to forgive you, and believe me, I do. But,” his voice grew high-pitched on that last word, which gave Harry anticipation as to what he would say next. “I can’t. And really, I’m glad you finally believe that it wasn’t my fault. But the fact that you believed it when you heard it from Niall rather than me… that really hurts, Harry. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me.” His words sent shudders down Harry’s spine, and the sensation was so real, it was as if he could feel Louis’ pain.

“I do trust you, Louis,” Harry interrupted, feeling absolutely confident with his answer, since it had been with full honesty. Despite everything that happened, Harry found himself trusting this boy with his life more than anybody else. He moved his hand into the air and began to caress Louis’ cheekbones, but before he was fully mesmerised in his beautiful, delicate features, his hand was pushed away.

The gesture should have been what had surprised him the most, but the very words Louis spoke next had him questioning its meaning. “You shouldn’t.”

When the meaning was revealed, Harry also came to remember that he was being held down by none other than Louis himself, but in offence to stopping him from saving Zayn. His expression scrutinised, and he struggled not to falter under Louis’ gaze, still piercing into his soul. “You allied with them?” He finally questioned in disbelief.

Louis looked shockingly fazed, and it was this time in particular Harry was grateful he could read Louis like a book. “Why are you surprised?”

“Are you serious?” The words exploded out of Harry, and he had a tough time trying to understand how Louis assumed this wasn’t the least bit surprising to Harry. “You’re expecting me to believe you allied with them with the goodness of your heart? What’s the catch?”

“There is no catch,” Louis snapped, his expression immediately falling back to the way it had been minutes before. “I can’t expect myself to ally with traitors anymore.”

Harry’s eyes bulged out of his head, and he was skeptical as to why Louis was still under the impression that Harry had meant to hurt him. “I’m a traitor? What have I done? You’re the one who killed Liam, accident or not.”

“See…” Louis grinned, though it wasn’t a smile of happiness or humor, but of complete and utter sarcasm. “You try and apologise, leading me to believe that you actually mean it, when really, you’ll never forgive me. Don’t think I don’t know that.”

That was cold. Harry didn’t want to admit it, but the fact that Louis had pointed that out made him feel twice as horrible only because… he was right. As much as Harry wanted to believe that Niall had been telling the truth, there was still a part of him that despised Louis for doing this to him. And if it weren’t for the feelings he still had for the boy, he would probably have no respect for him.

“Bad things happen to good people,” Harry recited the quote off the top of his head, deciding it applied well to this situation. “It’s not your fault Liam’s dead. It’s not my fault my parents are divorced. And it sure as hell isn’t your fault that your father was homophobic.”

“But I killed him, so it was my fault,” Louis retorted, then proceeded to roll his eyes. “Honestly, Harry. We’ve discussed this too many times, I don’t know why you even bother bringing it up again. I’m already fucked since this is all being broadcasted, why make it worse?”

“I’m just trying to h-”

“If you really wanted to help, you would stop talking. Now please be quiet, and allow me to apologise for what’s about to happen.”

Harry frowned and had only just began to interpret what Louis was inferring, but then he felt something hit him hard on the head, and then his vision went out, surrounding him in darkness as he blacked out. When his eyes opened again, there was a thumping in his head and everywhere was throbbing with pain. He swore something was booming in his head, absolutely sure that he was hearing noises, until his mind finally recognised the familiar booms, going off a total of nine times, proving that the feast had really been a bloodbath to eliminate tributes.

His vision was blurred at first, but as soon as his eyes focused, he started to evaluate his surroundings, seeing Peeta and Louis in front of him, and when he looked down at himself spotting the ropes over his body, he observed that he had been tied to a tree, after apparently being knocked out. Harry struggled to move, tried to pull himself out of the ropes, but grunted in frustration, giving up on his attempt to escape. What was going on anyway? And why were Peeta and Louis just standing there?

Another focus came to mind. “Where’s Zayn?”

“Gone,” Louis responded sharply.

Harry frowned, raising an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“He’s run off,” he clarified, as relief immediately swept over Harry that he had simply misinterpreted what Louis meant.

The two boys were still standing next to each other, and as odd as the situation was, Harry couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy simply watching their lack of distance. It wasn’t that either of them cared for personal space, but simply the thought of Louis standing next to the same boy that had tried to get with him before made Harry’s blood boil. It wasn’t just jealousy that Harry was feeling, but the fact that it had been Peeta who was at fault for Liam’s death, and with that knowledge, Harry was already so furious, he felt he had the confidence to force himself out of the ropes just so he could bash Peeta’s head in.

“So, where’s your Irish friend?” Peeta poked at him, a cocky grin shown in his expression.

Harry clenched his teeth, trying to hide the fact that if he wasn’t tied up, he would be up smacking that stupid smirk off Peeta’s face. Then he decided he might as well verbally abuse Peeta since doing so physically wasn’t possible. “I don’t know. I think he’s either crying, or committing suicide, you know, since you killed his boyfriend.” The way he had said it was so repugnant and vile, that it even caused Harry to shake, feeling terrible for saying such horrible things.

“That was all Cato, believe me,” Peeta replied, his voice steady and even. “I didn’t even witness Liam’s death.”

“Liar,” Harry snapped at him, refusing to care about his bluntness and angered attitude, only wanting to put it all out on Peeta. “You and Cato were both there.”

“How do you know? Were you there?”

Harry’s face flushed, his voice softening as he attempted to give an answer. “Well, no. Liam and Louis were looking for me, that’s why they were out in the first place.”

“Then when you think about it…” Peeta moved past Louis, inching closer to Harry with a strange look on his face, making it hard for Harry to figure out. “Liam’s death was really your fault.”

Harry had opened his mouth to argue, but as Peeta’s words sank into his brain, his mouth slowly closed and he gulped nervously, putting the pieces of the puzzle together, trying to force himself to believe that that wasn’t true. But the guilt he suddenly felt was telling him differently. Everything really did seem to go back to Harry… If he had been able to control his bladder that night, and hadn’t made the foolish decision of stepping outside in the middle of the night, then that could have prevented Louis and Liam from going after him, and maybe his best friend would still be alive. No wonder Harry had felt so horrible about all of this. It really was all his fault, and now that he knew, he couldn’t even consider it.

He hadn’t noticed that he’d been sitting, or his case standing, for the past five minutes, simply staring at the ground before him, with no expression on his face for anyone to indicate what he was thinking. This had been the perfect instance for Harry to burst into sobs in pure agony, but even though Harry knew the truth now, he still couldn’t bring himself to cry about it. He could only stand still, paralysed and afraid to say or do anything.

Eleanor was right. He couldn’t believe he was thinking back on something a complete stranger had told him, but he really did deserve to die. Louis’ situation was nothing compared to this. Harry had unintentionally killed his best friend, ruining all his relationships, and putting everyone’s lives in danger. And on top of that, he was probably never going to earn Louis’ trust back. That was why Louis was upset with him, wasn’t it? Harry should have considered it before. That Louis knew it was Harry’s fault. But why hadn’t he mentioned it? Maybe Louis didn’t want Harry feeling guilty even though he deserved it?

That couldn’t have been the only reason, though. Louis had completely abandoned his friends for Cato and Peeta, for some unknown reason. In fact, there was no reason why Louis would form an alliance with them, since they were indeed irrelevant to this entire situation. Maybe he still had a shred of sympathy for Harry and didn’t want to leave him completely alone, and in order to do that, he had to leave the entire group. But even then, out of all the remaining tributes, why them?

Harry didn’t even know how many tributes were left. He spent the next few minutes trying to list the names of the dead, finding it impossible to remember every single one. There were only six tributes left, and it seemed like many at first, but when names started to pop into his mind, he realised that other than himself, Louis, Niall, Zayn, Peeta, and Cato, everyone else was gone.

“Oh hey, you got him all tied up and everything. Nice, Peeta!” Harry heard another voice as his head flew up to see light blonde-haired boy smirking down at him after giving Peeta a high-five. “So, what’s up, Styles?” Cato teased him, getting uncomfortably close to Harry.

Harry didn’t answer and Cato simply laughed, turning his attention back to the other two boys, his feet shuffling against the ground as he paced back and forth, closer then further away from Harry.

“So Peeta, I really think you should go find the others.”

“What do you want me to do with them?” Peeta questioned and Harry was pretty sure he knew the answer to that.

Cato moved closer to Peeta, then pecked him swiftly on the lips, completely catching Harry off guard, making him wonder if they were together. “You’ll figure something out.” Cato smiled wryly at Peeta and Harry noticed that Peeta’s face was flushed as he began to head in the other direction. It was almost cute, if they were together. Almost. If Harry forgot about the raging hate he felt for them.

“Remind me to get rid of him later,” Cato said to Louis, and Harry did a double take, remembering that just a moment ago they had kissed. Unless they weren’t together and Cato was simply using Peeta for his own benefits which was so wrong that Harry couldn’t find a way to react. In fact, he didn’t.

“Now, Louis.” Harry flinched, wanting to shout at Cato for even using his name in such a repulsive way, even thought Cato had merely said it. “Does your friend know?”

Louis’ eyes met Harry’s, and Harry bit down his lip nervously, confused with the deteriorating look on Louis’ face that had him questioning what Cato meant. Harry’s breath staggered and since nobody was saying anything, he figured he might as well. “Do I know what?”

Cato cleared his throat, and his smirked widened as he peered closer to Harry once more. “Tell me, Harry. Do you think you’ll win?”

Harry didn’t say anything.

“Do you even care if you die?”

Harry stayed silent, not letting Cato’s words faze him.

“See?” Cato turned back around to Louis, setting an arm on his shoulder, and Louis’ face was a mix of emotions, and Harry hoped he was feeling just as confused. “Harry doesn’t even want to live anymore, am I right?” He shifted his body to Harry again and Harry fidgeted, the words doing more effect than he expected, sadly because he was right. “Go on, Louis.” Cato gestured for Louis to come forth. “Make him regret what he’s done.”

Harry gulped, eyeing Louis suspiciously who was making his way to Harry, with a knife in hand. As if Harry didn’t already know what was to come, his stuttering heart continued to beat irregularly, and his breath had hitched and he was absolutely terrified. But even when he saw Louis’ angered expression, he still couldn’t help but feel comforting that it was Louis who would kill him. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t trust Louis, and frankly, he trusted that boy with his life. Literally.

Louis was inching his way forward to Harry, and beneath all the uneasiness, Harry could see that Louis was in deep thought, and struggling to get any closer. He didn’t even look like he knew how to hold a bloody knife, which Harry knew wasn’t the case.

Harry had given up on his desperate endeavor to escape, and simply stood still, ready to end his life. He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t afraid, but he had been contemplating this moment too many times that surprise wasn’t an option. He spent the next few seconds shutting his eyelids then opening them again, finally deciding that he at least wanted to see Louis one last time. The thought made his stomach churn and as the memories flew into his mind, the times they spent together, a tear had made its way down Harry’s face, and he was starting to lose it.

He paid close attention to Louis and the angle of his knife as it touched his neck.

“I trust you,” Harry muttered his last attempt at saving his life.

Louis’ eyes flew to Harry’s, and suddenly the intensifying expression gave Harry another sign. That Louis was upset about this. That maybe Louis didn’t want to kill him. It wasn’t until a moment later that he was proven wrong, when Louis’ solemn look transformed to a grimace, a look of betrayal and pure rage. Harry snapped his eyes shut, preparing himself for the pain, but then he heard screams that didn’t belong to him.

He opened his eyes to see Cato falling to the ground, a blood-covered slit on his throat, and Harry watched as Louis’ knife dropped to the ground and Louis was breathing so heavily he was practically heaving.

“Louis…” Harry began, confused at what had just happened. Louis’ eyes shot up, taking one look at Harry, then back down on the ground. He retrieved the knife and proceeded to cut Harry out of the tree, swiftly but carefully. As soon as he was out, Louis immediately pulled Harry close into his arms, in a way that created no distance between them. Louis was patting Harry on the back gently and Harry’s breath caught in his throat, and he was fighting whimpers, completely overwhelmed with the feeling of once again sharing an embrace with the boy he loved.

“I’m so sorry, Harry…” he muttered in an undeniably shaky voice, and Harry could feel Louis’ body trembling as the hug prolonged. “I wish none of this… ever happened.” Louis was saying in muffled tones, and at this point, Harry was positive he wasn’t the only one getting choked up. “I wish I could take back the things I said to you. I just want you to know that, that-” He coughed, with short hasty breaths that followed after. “None of this was your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.” Louis pulled himself out of the embrace, his hands still caressing Harry’s shoulders, his eyes undressing Harry’s somber expression. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people.”

“Then why did you ally with them?” Harry demanded, staring deep into the older boy’s eyes, blinking back tears.

Louis moved his head back in the other direction, gesturing to Cato’s body. “I just showed you that, didn’t I? You should know I’ve always got a plan.”

“So you weren’t ever really mad at me?” Harry frowned, still deeply puzzled.

“No, I was. I was very upset.” His eyes traced back down to the ground but he looked back at Harry a moment later. “To be honest, I didn’t actually have a plan, but it wasn’t like I was joining them in the goodness of my heart. I just thought that, I don’t know, I could find some way to get rid of them, and then,” Louis gulped, shifting his attention away from Harry, “you.”

He had paused for a good second or two, and that left Harry wondering what to say next. It was an awkward position, and what would Harry say anyway? ‘I kinda wanted to kill you too’?

Luckily, Louis beat him to the point. “Then I began thinking. I thought about the things you said, and the way you said them, and then I started to realise how ridiculous everything was. Literally every point you made had you sounding like a complete hypocrite, and it was obvious you knew it too.” Harry’s face heated up in embarrassment, surprised that Louis had caught on to that. “Besides, after all those times you convinced me that I’m not a killer, why would you suddenly start saying the opposite, considering that moment in particular? I’ll admit, I felt horrible for a while. I still do now. I’m really sorry about Liam.” Louis spoke softly, apologetically and candid. “But anyway, it was a pointless row really and I saw to it that I’d apologise to you soon. And I tried to… but then when you showed up at the feast, and Peeta was watching my every move, I couldn’t just take sides with you like that. So then I thought of a plan. A plan to fix everything.”

And suddenly Harry understood. Other than the fight, Louis wasn’t upset with him at all. It hadn’t been his fault. Even though he still regretted triggering all the events, he knew it couldn’t have been entirely his fault. And that went the same with Louis. If Louis’ father hadn’t hated him for his sexuality, nothing would have rose the decision to kill him. It was simply fate that chose this to happen, and sometimes, bad things happened to good people.

Louis’ face softened and now he was smiling incredulously. He moved his face closer to Harry’s so that their foreheads were touching, their eyes locked together. “And I’m really hoping it worked.” Harry’s chest tightened as he felt Louis’ warm lips over his, and happiness subsided inside him, the satisfaction of being this close to him after so long, in a way he thought had become impossible. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’, enhancing the hug and Harry felt warmth covering every inch of his body, feeling absolutely thankful to have Louis by his side, the way it had been before, as if nothing had changed.

“I love you,” Louis muttered in Harry’s ear causing him to shiver, grateful to hear those three words again.

Harry pressed their mouths together, giving Louis a delicate peck. He pulled away, smiling when their eyes met. “I love you too. I was so afraid I was going to lose you-”

He was cut off when Louis kissed him again, probably as a way to shut him up. “You’ll never lose me. Even if you tried, Haz.” He smirked at the younger boy, causing Harry to smile like an idiot. He then shifted his gaze from Harry to the area surrounding them, looking curious as if he was in search of something. “I hate to kill the mood, but where is everyone else?”

“Shit…” Harry pulled away from Louis, now sensing genuine concern for the other boys. His eyes searched the area, skipping over Cato’s dead body, until he found the knife on the ground. He picked it up and began to pace across the forest floor, and Louis hadn’t done anything to question him, until he decided it might be best to try to find them. “Come on.”

Harry tangled his fingers with Louis’, with the hand that wasn’t clutching the knife, and together, they left the scene, paying close attention to their surroundings, wanting to be extra cautious. As if Harry wasn’t ecstatic enough from having Louis with him again, he was just itching to find his friends before Peeta did. There was no way in hell he was letting another friend die for another foolish mistake.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

It didn’t take long to find Niall and Zayn piled up against the Cornucopia, untouched materials surrounding them. Harry had to remind himself of the many tributes that had been killed today, and that was the reason for all the backpacks left behind.

The moment Harry and Louis reached them, Zayn immediately sprinted towards Louis, hands gripping his shoulders, knocking him to the ground, but Louis picked himself up quickly, the entire situation mortifying Harry.

“What the hell?!”

Louis frowned, running a hand through his greasy, filthy hair. “What?”

“How could you leave us for them?” Zayn shouted back, the anger evident in his tone.

“It’s a long story-”

“Everything’s fine now, Zayn. Relax,” Harry stepped between the two boys, raising his hands in the air as if to calm them both down. He expected Zayn to act this way, and he didn’t blame him either. When Harry hadn’t known what was going on, he was freaking out just as much.

Zayn stiffened, the tensed lines on face disappearing.“You have a lot of explaining to do.”

And then two booms went off, leaving them very confused. One of the booms had to be for Cato, since neither of them had heard anything after his death, but they were curious about the second boom.

“I killed Peeta,” Niall announced, as if reading Harry’s thoughts. He shifted his body to get off the ground, proceeding to sit on top of the Cornucopia. Harry couldn’t say he hadn’t expected Niall to be the one to kill Peeta. He knew Niall was still devastated with their loss, and killing someone who was the most at fault was his way of dealing with it. That and for ways of self-defense, thinking back on when Cato had ordered Peeta to go after the boys.

“Cato’s dead too,” Louis pointed out.

Zayn looked at Harry and Louis with sadness filling his eyes, a reaction Harry hadn’t anticipated with the words that followed. “We’re the only ones left.” The statement should have been good news for them, until the realisation hit that only one of them could win. Somehow that had slipped Harry’s mind.

Suddenly Harry’s moment of happiness was replaced by the thoughts that were arising in his head. He knew only one of them made it alive, and he wanted Louis to be that one, since he’d been planning that from the start. But as he watched the equally somber expressions on Niall and Zayn’s face, he came to realise that he didn’t want them to die, either. And it only brought his mood down knowing they would have to eventually.

“Nobody’s dying,” Louis spoke determinedly, and three pairs of eyes looked at him with curiosity. He blinked hard, crossing his arms, turning his attention to Harry. “I don’t care that there’s only supposed to be one winner.” Then he averted his eyes to the rest. “I refuse to kill any of you.”

Harry let out a sigh, knowing this wasn’t going to work. As much as he wanted to agree with Louis, the truth was still there, and he knew they couldn’t avoid it forever.

“I second that.” Zayn moved his hand in the air, looking more relaxed compared to five minutes ago.

“Niall? Harry?” Louis looked at the two boys, but neither of them spoke.

Finally Niall responded, giving no eye contact to the eldest boy, speaking in a low tone, void and expressionless. “I don’t care.”

Harry’s heart tugged in his chest, suddenly feeling sorrier for Niall. It was hard to see him acting like he didn’t care what happened to him, and frankly, Harry was convinced Niall favored death at this point, and that scared him the most. Even though he hadn’t known Niall for long and they hadn’t really touched bases, he couldn’t stand losing another friend if he could help it.

He felt a hand set on his shoulder, immediately recognising it as Louis. “Harry?”

“I like the idea,” Harry answered honesty, remembering what they were discussing, “but how long do you think we could get away with it? We’re not all going to win.”

“It’s worth a shot. Better than having us kill each other,” said Louis and Harry mentally agreed that yes, avoiding the alternate wasn’t a bad idea.

“Okay,” Harry finally came to an agreement, sighing as he felt Louis wrap an arm around his waist. Almost immediately, a loud growl filled the air and it took him a second to realise it was his stomach that had made that sound.

“Let’s find some food, I’m starving,” Harry heard Louis say, then had a moment of embarrassment which quickly passed when he remembered how comfortable was around the older boy.

They had been scouring the arena for what seemed like forever but had only been about an hour, still having no luck finding any rabbits. Harry had resorted to searching the sky for birds, but was surprised to see nothing in the sky, except, well, the sky. They were all watching the ground closely, and even with their concentration, not a single rabbit revealed itself. Now this was just odd. The rabbits couldn’t possibly be gone, not unless…

“Gamemakers,” Harry said aloud. “They’ve gotten rid of all the food sources.”

Zayn groaned. “But why?”

“We’re the last four tributes,” Louis pointed out, jabbing a stick into the ground. He’d picked it up about fifteen minutes ago, when he thought he’d seen something, but it had only been his imagination. “They’re not going to let us all live.” And then all four of the boys seemed to understand. If the boys weren’t going to resort to killing each other, the Gamemakers were going to do it for them. And Harry couldn’t even bring himself to imagine what they had planned.

“Ugh,” Harry complained, his stomach growling, begging for food. He had eaten a rabbit this morning, but that seemed so long ago, and right now, Harry was starving. He sat himself on the ground, deciding he might as well save his energy. Without food, he hardly had the motivation to keep walking.

Louis had reacted quickly to Harry’s sudden stop, and moved to sit next to him. He crossed his legs, slinging his arm over Harry’s shoulder, caressing the top of his arm gently. Though Harry was feeling famished, a simple touch from Louis seemed to automatically improve his mood. A sly smile made its way onto his face as he relaxed his shoulders, allowing his head to lean into the crane of Louis’ neck, and even though he was the taller one, it still worked out well.

Niall had sat himself down across from the two boys, leaning against the tree, and the grave expression on his face indicated that he was feeling even worse than before, and Harry had an idea why. With the position Harry and Louis in, he could understand why Niall might be feeling overwhelmingly jealous, that he no longer had anyone to hold him, to love him, and if Harry were to put himself in his friend’s place, he honestly wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Deciding this was the best time for sympathy, Harry pulled himself out of Louis’ arms and though he was hesitant to leave, he eventually made his way over to Niall. Right away, he pulled his friend into a hug, patting him on the back several times as Niall whimpered, obviously holding back tears. He looked over his shoulder to see Louis’ gaze, expecting him to look jealous or anything along those lines, but instead it was a look of sorrow, and that’s when Harry knew he wasn’t the only one who had sensed Niall’s pain.

Harry heard a loud sigh as Zayn dropped his body next to him. “I give up. There is literally nothing to eat.”

Harry sighed at the news, as if it was something new, and tried to forget about the rumbling that had continued in his stomach. They seemed to stay in the same position for about half an hour, and then a new sound filled the air, which could be identified as buzzing. At first Harry thought he had been hearing things, but when the other boys looked as confused as he did and the noise grew louder, he knew he wasn’t the only one hearing it.

Harry had been staring at the ground, trying not to focus on his empty stomach, when he felt Louis tug on his arm, pulling him up from the ground, the action so sudden that Harry nearly tripped himself.

“Run!” was the last thing Harry heard as he felt himself being dragged away, and his legs felt like jelly when he ran. If it weren’t for the continuous buzzing from behind him, he would have stopped and sat down again, but he knew by the speed they were running, that wasn’t the best idea. He turned his head to look back and his jaw dropped at the sight of what looked to be a swarm of bees flying towards them.

Harry continued to run, faster than he had before, and Niall had just surpassed him. He tried to grab Louis’ arm but Louis was already falling behind. “Louis, what are we-”

“Tracker jackers.”

Tracker jackers were genetically-made wasps, created by the Gamemakers, used mostly in the past and now exclusively in the Hunger Games. They were similar to wasps, except can be powerful enough to kill if bitten enough times. Harry picked up his speed, his adrenaline and fear overcoming his hunger, which wasn’t important now.

“You guys-” Louis spoke between gasps of breath, his next words barely audible. “Look for a river!”

Harry ran as fast as he could and kept his eyes open for a water source. There had to a river somewhere! The Gamemakers couldn’t have possibly gotten rid of it, could they?

“Shit!” Niall exclaimed, now falling behind the rest of the boys, but still continuing to run with all his might, and Harry could tell with one glance that he was trying, but not hard enough. He slowed himself down a bit until he caught up to Niall, then pulled him further away from the swarm of tracker jackers, until they reached the other two boys.

In the corner of his eye, Harry spotted the familiar looking river with the cave concaving it. He ran faster, pulling Niall along with him, until they trudged past the other boys, heading straight for the water. They dived in with a splash, the coldness from the water sending chills throughout Harry’s body. Zayn and Louis followed their strategy a moment later, and when Harry came up from below, he breathed hastily, trying to catch his breath, and when his heartbeat slowed, he noticed the four of them were alone, and the wasps were gone.

“Is everybody okay?” Harry asked in a relaxed voice, looking directly at Niall since he was right there in front of him. Niall nodded his head but then his attention went to the left side of him, looking down into the water.

“Louis-” Niall began but cut himself off by plunging into the water, leaving Harry confused momentarily, until he came back to the surface a moment later, Louis’ head resting on his shoulder.

“Louis?” Harry frowned as Niall set his body down on the grass, his head falling directly into Harry’s face. Louis’ eyes were alternating from closing and opening again, and his vision went from being somewhat focused to his eyes crossing, and suddenly Harry understood that Louis was probably hallucinating, one of the effects of being bitten. Harry reacted immediately, pulling himself out of the water, his clothes clinging to his skin, and since he was already profoundly dirty to begin with, the sudden wetness wasn’t doing well with him.

“Zayn got stung, too,” Niall pointed out, setting the other boy’s body next to Louis on the grass. “We need to take out the stingers.”

Harry nodded his head in agreement, knowing the sooner they removed the stingers, the less pain Zayn and Louis would have to endure and the sooner they could recover. He wasn’t particularly trained in the field, and so he stepped aside and let Niall handle it, since he seemed to know what he was doing. Harry observed as Niall moved to Louis, carefully pulling a stinger out of his arm, and surprisingly, Louis had only flinched slightly. The hallucinations had probably already stopped, and he had fallen asleep. God forbid the dreams he could be having. Thankfully, he had only been stung in one place. Harry sighed in relief, thankful that this wouldn’t be a life or death situation for him.

Zayn was asleep as well, and the two boys found two stingers, both on his left arm. Harry shuddered, unable to imagine the pain he must be in. He hoped he never got attacked by tracker jackers in his life. He didn’t know if he could handle the things he would see, feel, hear. In fact, Zayn was sleeping so deeply that even after Niall pulled out the second stinger, he barely even moved.

Harry heard a loud gasp from behind him and he could feel Louis’ head hitting him in the side of his leg. Louis’ body was trembling effortlessly and whimpers were escaping him, causing Harry’s heart to stutter. Harry scooted closer, setting Louis’ head on his lap, slowly brushing his fingertips against his warm cheeks, and Louis continued to shake atrociously.

“Louis, it’s okay,” Harry tried to comfort him, trying not to imagine how he was feeling. He knew the hallucinations were capable of making the victim feel sensations that made the experiences seem real, despite the fact it was all in their heads. Harry wondered why Zayn hadn’t reacted to it yet. Of course he’d gotten stung twice and obviously his condition was a bit worse than Louis’. Even with that, Harry was surprised that Zayn was just laying there, motionless.

“Here,” Niall spoke breathlessly, setting crushed leaves in the palm of Harry’s hand, setting his body down next to Zayn. “Put these in the sting. It should take away the poison.”

Harry held the crushed leaves in his hand, trying to position himself so he could press them against Louis’ arm, and it didn’t help that Louis continued to move. He brushed his hand against the wound, a bulging, pink swelling at the top of Louis’ right arm. When he pushed the leaves to the sting, Louis hadn’t cringed, regardless of his already troubled movements. Harry kept his hand to the wound for what seemed like forever, but he didn’t mind, knowing he was helping Louis. He focused his attention on Louis’ face, his cheeks warm and pink, sweat curdling down his face. His eyes were closed, and his breathing had grown more relaxed after a matter of minutes. Harry had only just began to feel relaxed, letting out a breath of relief, that Louis was healing, and he only hoped that Niall was treating Zayn’s wounds in the same fashion as Harry.

Harry sniffed, a frown crossing his face at the smell of smoke in the air. He would assume it was a campfire nearby, but since they were the only tributes left, it threw him off. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of leaves rustling followed by a bright light behind them that they realised there was a fire.

As if any warning was needed, Harry picked Louis off the ground, throwing his body over his shoulders, and if it weren’t for all the sudden adrenaline, the weight of Louis’ body would have caused them both to hurdle to the ground. Niall had slung Zayn over his shoulders following Harry’s example, and they all began to head off in one direction. Harry turned his head back around to see flames spreading onto treetops, growing faster and faster. It was odd that the fire seemed to be following them as they went onwards, and that made it obvious that the Gamemakers were at fault.

“Harry…”

Harry’s breathing shook when he heard the familiar voice. “Louis, close your eyes, okay?” He shouted at the older boy between gasps of breath, the addition of running and the lack of oxygen making it harder to suck in air.

Louis didn’t speak anymore after that, and Harry was getting exhausted, his sudden adrenaline slipping away, but that didn’t stop him from running for his life. He turned his head back again, hearing the sounds of branches falling down and he gasped when he heard something break on top of them. A large branch fell in their way, nearly hitting Niall and Zayn, and covering their path. Harry quickly ran into the different direction, panting as he struggled to keep up with the areas that weren’t clouded with fire. He emitted a cough, his lung decapitating, causing his running to slow down. He blinked through the smoke and when his eyes opened the second time, Niall and Zayn were gone.

“Niall!” Harry cried out, coughs spilling out, his eyes searching the area for his friends, but all he could see was the “NIALL!”

“Harry,” Louis spoke, his voice barely audible underneath Harry’s desperate cries. “Harry… we need to get out of here…”

Harry jumped to his left, then to his right, frantically searching for an open path, but it was no use. They were blocked on all sides, with no way out. They were going to die.

“Louis…” Harry brought his body down from his shoulders, hearing a sharp cry of pain escaping Louis’ mouth as he fell onto the ground. Harry pulled their bodies together, pressing each other into a tight hug, pressing his head against Louis’ shoulder, trying to reassure himself that at least they wouldn’t have to kill each other, and that they weren’t dying alone. “Everything will be okay, Louis. I love you.”

Louis sniveled, his hands tracing the back of Harry’s neck, and Harry tried to forget about the flames that neared them, and tried to replay the details of his life. They say that your life flashes in your eyes when you die, and Harry wanted to remember everything, the good and the bad. He wanted to remember this moment spent in Louis’ arms. He thought of nothing but how content he was with the time they spent together.

“I’ll see you soon, Harry.”

Harry snapped his eyes shut, inhaling the smell of Louis mixed with the drenching sweat, but still a pleasant gesture. He tried not to cry, and instead smile, as he felt the warmth radiating from Louis, ignoring the heat around them. It was unbelievably hot, but the next moment, it suddenly became cool.

Harry’s eyes shot open and he was astonished to see droplets of water falling from the sky, and all the flames disappeared in a matter of seconds. Harry got up from the ground, pulling Louis up with him, remembering that he was still wounded. He was still in shock that the fire had stopped then and there, right when they were about to face death, but didn’t have the time to question it.

“Come on, we need to find Niall and Zayn.” And right away, Harry began to walk through the rain pounding down on them. He felt calmer, the water washing away the sweat drenching his body. He looked back at Louis who looked calmer than he had in a while. Harry’s expression softened as well, and he grabbed Louis’ hand, his attention now on the boy. “Are you feeling better?”

“Still a little dizzy, but I’ll manage,” Louis answered in a reassuring tone, and relief swept through Harry almost immediately, thankful that Louis was back to his normal self again.

Harry searched for a matter of minutes, the other two boys nowhere in sight. He was stricken with worry, afraid for their lives, hoping they had survived the fire. They couldn’t have gone far, it had only been half an hour since the fire had stopped, and the arena wasn’t that big. He let out a sigh, his hands further gripping Louis’, as the two of them continued their search.

Almost expectedly, panic surged in Harry again when he heard a buzzer go off, mistakenly thinking it was the tracker jackers again until a voice boomed in their ears. “Ladies and gentlemen! I present the victors of the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games! Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, and Zayn Malik!”

And then Harry blacked out.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Seeing the Capitol again in such a long time had never been a bigger relief for Harry. It was almost like coming home from a holiday, even though it was far from it. Although Harry wasn’t going to lie and say he didn’t enjoy any of it.

Harry had held onto Louis’ hand the entire trip on the helicopter from the arena to the Capitol. Even when he stepped foot on the ground for the first time, they never let go of each other. Confusion still hung above the four boys, wondering how they had all won the Hunger Games. Surely it had to be impossible. But then again, with all the new rules that had taken place, Harry almost expected something like this to happen.

The minute they reached the main building, they were practically taking acid baths, or so it felt like. At the end, it was worth it considering how filthy their bodies were. While Harry was being pampered, he could only think of what the Gamemakers were thinking when they declared them winners. What was the point of having four winners anyway? Harry decided not to question it, already graciously thankful that they had all made it out alive.

They weren’t allowed to leave the Capitol until after the interviews, one of which had taken place back where they hd trained. Nobody would explain anything to them, only orders were given and expected to follow. Harry was growing impatient over the span of the next two days, tired of all of this being a show, and desperately wanting to see his family again. He was sure they were watching everything at home, and surely they knew he was okay.

“It’s nice to see you again, boys!” Caesar exclaimed as the crowd went wild. A smile slipped Harry’s face as he remembered the first time they’d been here. He had been so clueless of what was to come, not to mention afraid, and now here he was again, alive and confident. Harry was sitting the closest to the interviewer, Niall sitting next to him, followed by Louis then Zayn. “You guys all won, how do you feel about that?”

“Good, I guess,” Zayn said chuckling.

“Of course,” Caesar smirked, crossing his legs. “I’m really surprised though. I really thought there’d only be one winner.”

Harry shrugged. “We’re just as surprised.”

“I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.” Caesar grinned at the four boys, then directed his attention back at the audience. “Now let’s get serious. I saw some love back there in the arena.” The crowd roared and Harry’s cheeks flushed, remembering that everyone had watched everything that had happened. “Do you have anything to say about that?”

Harry moved his head forward to look at Louis, and Louis was already staring at him, a sly smile making its way onto his face. “Harry and I are together,” Louis announced to the audience, an unmistakable grin on his face, causing Harry’s heart to race with every word he said. The audience went inside, everybody screaming and whistling, clearly excited about their relationship.

Caesar was smiling himself as the cheering continued. “You make a lovely couple.”

“Thanks,” Louis and Harry said simultaneously, more cheers erupting when their eyes met, people obviously loving the two of them together.

“Now I hate to be blunt,” Caesar spoke when the auditorium silenced, “but you all seemed to be close with Liam. Niall, in particular. I’m sorry for your loss.” He gave Niall an apologetic look, and Niall forced a smile, obviously hiding how he really felt. Harry was a bit upset that Caesar had brought it up, but he supposed it wasn’t fair to leave the audience hanging.

“I have to say, at the beginning, I really pictured all of you sitting here today. And I’m not just saying that,” Caesar looked at them, absolutely serious. “You were all really brave, and deserved to win.” The boys all smiled and the crowd cheered. “Now Zayn, how’s the chest?”

“Better,” Zayn replied. “The medicine really did wonders.”

“Your sponsor was very kind for helping you,” Caesar commented, nodding his head. Then he directed his attention to all four of them. “So what are you planning to do now that you’re free?”

“Go back to our family, most likely,” Harry answered for all of them, although he was sure Louis wanted the opposite, but nobody needed to know about that. Besides, the simplest answer was always the least questionable.

“That’s a great idea! I’m sure they’re excited that you won.” Caesar grinned as he stood up, patting his hands against his silky pants, straightening himself. “And that’s all the time we have! Thank you for joining us today. I hope to see you again soon!” He left the stage as clapping thundered in the auditorium. Harry wanted to get up and leave, but the clapping had continued, and nobody else was making the first move to leave, and suddenly he was wondering why.

Then a female voice spoke through the speakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, President Snow.”

President Snow made his way up to the stage, his head covered with white hair, a bald spot at the top. His wrinkled face and prominent facial hair added to the familiar look, and the room went silent as he sat in Caesar’s typical seat. 

“Congratulations, boys, on being this year’s victors of the Hunger games.” And surprisingly, he smiled. An actual smile. One that didn’t involve a smirk, or mischievous grin. “Today I will be clearing up everything for everybody, as I’m sure you’re all very confused.”

Harry’s face lit up as he scooted closer in anticipation. He’d been dying to know why they had all won, and now he was finally going to find out. He could only hope it was something good, and not another Hunger Games to get only one winner, or anything stupid like that.

“For the seventh-fifth Hunger Games, we have decided to do something different. We wanted to try something new that might be more successful in the future. And in order to do that, we needed training more tributes and a new location, built prior to this event.” So that would explain why they Harry and Liam were chosen, and why training had been held away from the Capitol. “In all honesty, we want to improve life. Ever since The Dark Days, conditions have been harsh, and we’ve had the Hunger Games to keep things under control. But looking back on it now, this event has created nothing but grief for everyone.”

The entire room fell to silence, everyone was listening intently on what Snow had to say, since it was obviously important if he was discussing the cons.

“I’m not saying we’ll see a change right away, but I’m hoping things will get better, economically and politically. Right now what we need are leaders. More people to keep our nation from falling apart. And that’s what we’ve been trying to do this year.” President Snow’s eyes fell on the boys as he continued to speak, “We needed about five tributes to make this work, but unfortunately, we didn’t stop the event soon enough for Peeta to be here.”

What a shame, Harry couldn’t help but think.

“Nobody knew about this other than myself and a select few others. The Gamemakers knew nothing until they were informed last minute.” That explained why they had still tried to kill them in the end, even though that was unnecessary. “Harry, Niall, Louis, Zayn, you four have not only won the Hunger Games, but have been selected to defend the nation of Panem.”

Harry sucked in a large breath of air, letting Snow’s words sink in. They were going to become leaders? Harry barely knew how to take care of himself, and now he was given responsibility over the entire nation. It was all too much at once, and he didn’t know how to answer. The other boys looked as shocked as Harry, and nobody said anything, the room still screaming with silence.

Niall finally broke the ice, “Could you give us a little more insight?”

“Right now, we’re in need of a new system. There is so much we need to do to fix this nation, and a new government is a good place to start. We’re open to ideas, and we’re willing to listen if you have any. There isn’t really anything specific to tell you, other than you will be allowed most rights, as long as you don’t abuse them of course. More will be explained later, but right now we just need a yes from you.” Snow stared at them expressionlessly, his eyes practically pleading for them to agree.

“Where will we go?” Louis questioned him. “Like, will we go back to our districts, or-”

“You will live here at the Capitol. Arrangements have already been made and a condo has already been made available for the four of you.”

“What about our families?” Zayn chimed in. “Are we just going to leave them behind?”

“They won’t be moving with you, if that’s what you’re asking,” President Snow replied. “But they’re always free to visit.”

“What happens if we say no?” Harry tested, honestly curious. Would they be sent back in the arena? Would they have to die? Surely it couldn’t be something horrible like that…

“Nothing will happen to you personally. But if we don’t take care of matters for our country, everyone will eventually suffer long-term consequences.”

Nobody spoke for a matter of seconds, the information still so new to the boys and difficult to take in. It was just such a huge responsibility, and Harry wasn’t sure if he could handle it. And if he said no, the entire nation was at stake.

“I…” Louis began and all eyes went to him. “Could you give us a moment?”

“Sure,” Snow agreed instantaneously. “Be back in ten minutes with your final decision.”

Zayn led the way off the stage and into the back, the other three boys following behind. The minute they were alone, Louis looked more relaxed than he had been on stage. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m actually okay with this.”

And Harry understood why. His primary reason for wanting to agree was obviously to get away from his family, even though Harry knew Louis couldn’t run away from the problem forever. Nevertheless, Harry was okay with this too, since he did live in Capitol to begin with.

“Me too,” Harry finally said in agreement. “Zayn?”

“I’ve always wanted to change the world and now that I have the chance, how could I say no?” Zayn shrugged, a sly smile crossing his face.

All attention went on Niall, who was standing still, looking as terrified as ever. He didn’t speak a word, and Harry wondered if Niall was even aware of everyone staring at him.

“Niall?” Zayn said in a soft voice.

Niall inhaled and exhaled slowly, as if breathing was a difficult task for him. “I don’t know.”

“It’s a great opportunity, Niall.”

Niall shrugged, his eyes looking down at his shoes.

Harry set his hand on Niall’s shoulder, as a way of comforting the boy. “Liam would want you to do this.”

Niall’s eyes wandered around the room in deep thought and finally he sighed in defeat. “I suppose I’m in.”

The boys cheered in success and decided it was time to get back on stage and give President Snow their answer. As they sat down, a random thought crossed Harry’s mind, and suddenly he began to wonder how Zayn and Louis knew each other. It was weird that he remembered that from the first time they met, but now it really got him thinking. He would have to ask Louis about it later. 

“We accept,” Louis answered for all of them, and the crowd literally went insane. Harry stared at the audience with a small grin, a bit flattered that all their hopes and dreams really had depended on their answer. He could only hope they had made the right decision.

And once again, a grin played on Snow’s lips, looking the happiest he had in a long time. In fact, Harry didn’t think he’d ever seen their president this happy. He spent the next few minutes thanking the boys, giving them a meaningful speech on how this was going to change everything, and when the audience clapped in the end, Harry and the boys left the stage, smiling with honor.

The moment they stepped outside, shrouds of people gathered around them, cameras hitting them from every angle, shooting question after question at the boys. Harry wasn’t used to all this attention, and he was surprised they were getting so much of it so soon. He pushed past the people as politely as he could, following behind Zayn as they moved inside the black vehicle waiting for them, to drive them back to the Capitol, where they would finally see their families.

Louis and Harry sat next to each other, Louis leaning onto the younger boy, and Harry was petting him on the arm in an attempt to relax him, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy for Louis. He couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to him. Would his mum be upset now that she knew? Would she let him off the hook or would Louis have to be punished? Surely he had suffered enough with the Hunger Games. He really, really didn’t deserve any more problems in his life. Harry moved the older boy’s body closer to him, holding him tight possessively.

About twenty minutes later, they arrived at the Capitol. Harry expected to be dropped off at the Centre, but they were at a smaller building, in the latter parts of the city. Probably so they could see their families without all the commotion.

Harry entered the building first, his eyes scanning the large room until he saw his mother running up to hug him, her eyes flooded with tears. She pressed her lips to his cheeks, pecking him multiple times, and Harry smiled, unable to believe he was really seeing his mum again.

“I knew you would win,” she muffled through her tears.

“I missed you, Mum,” Harry admitted, pressing his head into her shoulder, the warm embrace they shared causing his smile to widen, happy that she had believed in him from the start.

“I’m just- I-” She pulled away from her son, pressing her hands to her face to wipe the moisture off her cheeks. “I’m so proud of you. I always knew you would change the world.”

Harry smiled, trying to remain modest. Though he was happy to see his mother again, his eyes kept reverting to Louis who looked to be having a conversation with his mum, things looking seemingly calm.

“He’s fine, Harry.”

Harry’s attention went back to his mum and he looked at her with a frown. “What?”

A smile played on her lips, and she set her hand on Harry’s shoulder. “I know you’re worried about him. I know his mum and I know she’ll find it in her heart to forgive him.”

“You know each other?”

She nodded. “I watched the entire event. You and Louis were getting close and that’s when I decided I needed to meet Jay. We’ve become great friends.”

Harry smiled, glad that their mothers were getting along, as weird as that was. “So you’re, uh,” he began, wondering exactly how supportive she was, “okay with us?”

“Of course,” she responded with a warm smile. “You two are like Jack and Rose, remember in that old movie many, many years ago? What was it called… Titanic! Except, of course, you’re boys and there’s no sinking ship…” Harry tried to fight a smirk, her excitement amusing him. “Louis seems like a nice, young man. I’d better be invited to the wedding.”

Harry’s face went red. “We’ve only just started dating, Mum!” He wasn’t protesting though. Marriage was something he was willing to accept overtime… Harry couldn’t hide his smile, happy that his own mum could see past Louis’ past and love him for who he was now, and just the thought alone convinced him that Louis was perfect for him in every way.

“I think someone wants to meet you,” his mother hinted, and Harry turned around to see Louis and his mum waving at him. He took the hint and assured his own mum that he’d be back, and headed over to the other side of the room. 

A lady with brunette hair that fell off to the side of her face greeted him with a smile, her face strangely resembling Louis’. It was strange how much he looked like his mother.

“I’m Jay, Louis’ mother,” she held her hand out, and Harry shook it awkwardly, trying his best to make a good first impression.

“I’m Harry.”

“I know. You’re even more handsome in person,” Jay said with a wink, and Harry proceeded to laugh to make the situation less awkward.

“You’re embarrassing him, Mum,” Louis rolled his eyes, though he was grinning.

“Then I’m doing my job right.” She looked at Louis and then back at Harry, and she smiled warmly. “There’s need to be nervous, hon. I already accept you as part of the family.” Harry couldn’t stop himself from smiling, already feeling comfortable around this woman. “You know, I’ve never seen Louis look at someone with such adoration before. And honestly, if you’re capable of doing that for him, I trust you completely.”

“Thanks,” Harry said, then immediately questioned if that was the right thing to say.

She set her hand on Harry’s shoulder, and eyed him with complete serious. “I’m so happy all of you are going to finally make a difference. Home won’t be the same without Louis. Promise me you’ll take care of him.”

“I promise.”

“Good.” She pulled Harry into a hug, then smiled when they broke away from each other. “Your mum and I are friends now, you know.”

“I know,” Harry stifled a laugh.

“You look a lot like her. You’re both very beautiful, looks must run in the family. It’s a wonder Louis found someone like you.” And right away, a smirk crossed Louis’ face as he elbowed his mother, the gesture making Harry chuckle. “Anyway, it was very nice to meet you, Harry.”

“It was very nice meeting you too, Mrs. Tomlinson.”

“Please,” she assured him. “Call me Jay.”

Harry was introduced to the other boys’ parents, and surprisingly, Liam’s parents had shown up as well, graciously hugging each boy and showing their appreciation for the friendship they had given Liam. They were shockingly calm about talking about it, though Harry was sure they were devastated on the inside, but it was reassuring that they were able to push that all away from one day. They even thanked Niall for being there for Liam, loving him with the little time they had, and now he was gladly welcomed into their home whenever he pleased. And for the first time in days, Niall actually smiled.

When they all said their final goodbyes and promised to visit soon, everybody seemed to be put in a good mood. Harry asked Louis about how things went down with his mother, though the happiness in her voice when she had talked to him made it obvious that everything had turned out okay. Louis assured him that his mother had forgiven him, though she lectured him that murder was wrong, but immediately explained how forgiving himself was more important than anything else, and Louis’ worries became non-existent after that.

Their vehicle had come to pick them up to take them to their new home, and the boys were standing outside waiting. Harry and Louis were standing alongside each other, staring up at the night sky. Harry began to reminisce the last time he really took a good look at the stars which was the night before the reaping. He thought back on how things had changed so much since, for the better, and at this point, couldn’t find it in his heart to regret anything that had happened.

“You know, I take back what I said,” Louis said, his voice surprisingly slow and even.

Harry frowned, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Back in the arena, I called you a liar,” he pointed out. “But that was wrong of me, I never got to apologise.”

“There’s no need, Louis,” Harry shook it off right away, smiling when his eyes met Louis’ bright, blue orbs. “Everything’s fine.”

“You’re right.” Louis smiled genuinely, his eyes wandering down to their hands which had now linked together. “Everything is perfect.”


	19. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lived a normal life in the Capitol until his best friend Liam and him were selected as tributes in The Hunger Games to fight to the death, along with three other friends they later meet.

Ten months and fifteen days had passed since the nation of Panem had changed forever. The harsh form of government the nation had settled into had transformed into an improved democracy, and things were picking up quickly. A tax system had formed, and the districts were no longer needed for labor. Food outages decreased until they disappeared entirely, and starvation was never an issue. Technology returned to lives of civilians, old technology reminding them of the past, the new technology slowly adapting to lives. It had in fact gotten so far that even the station in space had been funded again, and was now functioning as it had a hundred years ago, continuing to make new discoveries. And if this wasn’t sudden already, within eight months of the space program, a picture of the nearest galaxy, Andromeda, soon surfaced.

At the Capitol, where the four boys resided, things hadn’t changed too much. Everything was just as industrial as before, except in a less stuck-up fashion, and unlike before, lived up to its potential. The ridiculous trends continued to grow, and though Harry didn’t particularly like it, he was living in such happiness that the little things no longer bothered him.

The boys lived in a lovely two-story house in the downtown Capitol. Such a place would normally be too crowded and would take away their privacy, but it was surprisingly isolated enough that they were able to live in private, for the most part. There were still days when paparazzi and civilians surrounded the building in attempts to question them or simply have a conversation with them. At this rate, the boys were practically celebrities.

Their families visited often, and it was mostly Harry’s family that stopped by since they lived close. Most of the time it was simply Harry begging his mum to come over and help him with his laundry, and Louis laughed at him every time, though he had no room to talk being just as lazy himself. Strangely enough, Harry was actually the one making sure Louis stayed on top of things, and not just when it came to organisation.

Every so often, the boys were rewarded for the things they had done for the nation, and Louis, being the most insecure out of the four, found it hard to believe they had even done anything, and couldn’t understand being praised for it. Despite what he thought, the boys really had done wonders for the nation, whether they believed it or not.

When their new life had just begun, everything had been so overwhelming at first but it didn’t take long for it to fall into place. Out of nowhere, the boys instantaneously began formulating ideas, and President Snow put them into consideration almost immediately. After a few changes, everything else seemed to form on its own, with help from the boys of course, but things stabilised after some time. It was hard to believe that had only been ten months ago.

Since Harry and Louis’ relationship was public, they did have their supporters, but there were still few that didn’t approve. Homophobia was very rare these days, and the mild comments hardly did any damage to the boys. Well, Louis was the one who got easily offended, but with one glance at the cheeky boy he was in love with, and all his worries disappeared.

It was the twenty-fourth of December, not only the day Christmas was celebrated, but also the twenty-first birthday of Louis Tomlinson. Louis was erratic, torn between the mixed feelings of becoming an adult when he still felt like a kid at heart. His boyfriend Harry would be turning nineteen in two months, still a teenager and yet he seemed very mature for his age. In fact, so mature that sometimes Louis found himself questioning who was the oldest.

Harry had spent the first few hours of the day cooking and cleaning the house in preparations for the party he was planning for Louis. As if he didn’t already feel like a housemaid, Niall had made the unfortunate mistake of starting a banter with him before leaving to buy necessary materials. Harry had chucked a pillow at him, knocking down an expensive vase. He was pissed for a short time, until he hid its remains in the shower, and decided everything was fine for the time being.

Zayn had the courtesy to take Louis out for a few hours, to show him a good time around the city, avoiding bars and such, saving the fun for tonight. People waved hello to them as they walked in the streets. On normal circumstances, they would have taken a car, since they didn’t really fancy the idea of being driven around. But since today was the special occasion and particularly nice out for winter, an hour or so of walking couldn’t be too bad, and seeing the smiles on the faces of civilians was worth it.

Harry was back at home, blasting to music as he set up the decorations for the party. He had bought a bag of helium balloons beforehand, and spent about twenty minutes filling them up. When he felt he’d used up all the helium, he filled up the rest of the balloons himself. Unfortunately, he seemed to run out of breath before he ran out of balloons, and he had to stop before he passed out.

Niall returned with several bags in hand, hitting the doorbell several times until he grew frustrated and set the bags down, knocking on the door with his fist three times. Harry eventually came to open it for him, claiming he hadn’t heard him over the music, and Niall rolled his eyes, pushing past him to get to the kitchen. He spotted a cake in plain sight, and Harry immediately warned him not to touch it, but as soon as Harry left to unpack the bags, Niall couldn’t resist sticking a finger into the frosting.

The bags were filled with several items, the majority of it involving alcohol. Shameless to say, Louis would be the only one drinking legally tonight, but with the reputation they had, there was no reason to be worried for drinking out of occasion.

Louis and Zayn came flying through the front door, laughing and mumbling about how the girl across the street had asked Zayn for his number, and how Zayn had reluctantly given it to her. Louis tossed his coat onto the side of the couch and greeted Harry with a kiss. Harry nearly pushed him away, stressed out and all, until he realised it was his boyfriend and immediately felt better.

He slung his arm over Louis’ waist, brushing his hair back behind his ear. “Happy birthday, babe.”

“Honestly, Harry,” Louis rolled his eyes, batting his eyebrows. “That’s the fourth time you’ve said that to me today!”

“I wanted to be the first to say it!”

“Well you were, so I don’t see why you continue to say it-”

“Shut up and go change, Louis,” Harry patted Louis on the shoulder, gesturing him to head upstairs, a chuckle passing his lips.

Louis sighed, then pushed past the three boys to follow Harry’s orders. “Yes, Princess.” The doorbell rang as he began to head upstairs and he shouted back, “If that’s Lottie, don’t answer!” The boys all frowned, until they recalled that Louis owed his sister twenty dollars, and well, let’s just say Louis wasn’t one for paying someone back, especially if that someone was his family.

The door flew open, and Zayn rolled his eyes, preparing to shut it in the brunette’s face, until Niall pushed Zayn aside, a detectable grin immediately replacing his bored expression. “Hi, Josh.”

Josh smiled, immediately throwing his arms around the Irish boy, enclosing them into a tight hug, kissing him gently on the cheek when they pulled away, both of them smiling as Josh came inside, the door shutting behind them.

“Why are you here?” Zayn demanded, trying to sound angry, though he was really just trying to be as obnoxious as he could. “The party doesn’t start for another two hours.”

“I’m sorry for wanting to spend time with my favorite leaders of Panem!”

“You just wanted to spend time with Niall.”

“Whatever,” Josh shrugged, flashing a smile at the chuckling boy beside him.

Niall and Josh had been together for about five months. The way they met was strange, really. When Niall was invited to his co-worker Paul’s bachelor party, he had no idea he would be meeting the love of his life. Niall wasn’t feeling the mood to party and had stood in a corner the whole night, until Josh stumbled upon him, offering him a drink. Even when Niall denied his offer, Josh continued to speak to him, and they had grown fond of each other quickly. After the party, they had exchanged numbers and talked endlessly after that. And it wasn’t too long after that that they realised their strong friendship had broken its boundaries into something more. And after some advice from Louis and Harry, he was convinced to tell Josh how he felt, and the feeling turned out being mutual. Ever since then, Josh and Niall had been inseparable. Needless to say, Niall’s heart still burned at the thought of Liam, and he didn’t go a day without thinking of him, and Josh was aware of that too. But being the supportive person he was, he got Niall through it, convincing him that he had Josh now, and that was all that mattered.

“Where’s the birthday bitch?” Josh threw his body onto the couch, spreading his legs so he was laying down, treating their home as if it was his own.

“Upstairs,” Harry responded, then a thought crossed his mind and he dropped everything and took off into the hallway. “Be right back!” He came back a moment later, holding a plastic golden crown in his hands, a smirk on his face.

“Oh no…” Zayn shook his head disapprovingly, chuckles escaping him, clearly aware of Harry’s plan.

Niall sighed, laughing as well. “I thought you got rid of that months ago!”

“Shh…” Harry pressed a finger to his lips, mischievously grinning as he snuck up the stairs, and everyone listened intently, curious as to how this would turn out.

It had been quiet for a matter of seconds until they heard an outburst of “get away from me, Harry!” and “there’s no way I’m wearing that!” They could also make out Harry urging Louis to agree, and by urging, they meant forcing. The house went silent again, until the sound of reverberated footsteps signed and all eyes went to the stairs.

There stood Louis, wearing the paper crown on his head, an unamused expression on his face, a polar opposite of how delighted Harry looked. He had his arm around Louis, smiling incredulously, bragging about how cute his boyfriend was, and that there was no reason to be ashamed.

“Have you forgotten the occasion? I’m turning twenty-one today,” Louis argued, still looking painfully embarrassed.

“You know that doesn’t stop me from embarrassing you,” Harry pinched Louis’ cheeks and Louis crossed his arms, knowing Harry was treating like a child on purpose.

Louis pulled himself out of Harry arms and Harry assumed Louis was upset and had left to hide in his room, but he returned a moment later with a rubber band in his hand.

“Come ‘ere, Harry. Allow me to…” He brought the band up to Harry’s hair, looping a chunk of hair three times, until Harry had what looked to be a very messy ponytail. Still, Harry looked so ridiculous and Louis didn’t bother hiding the laughs that were engulfing him.

“Harry, oh my God, you make a pretty girl!”

Harry slapped Louis on the face playfully, a flush covering his cheeks, and he was smiling underneath it all. “Are you done?”

Louis shook his head almost immediately, a smirk playing on his lips. “You’re keeping it like that for the party.”

A sigh escaped Harry, knowing he couldn’t resist anything Louis said. It was the kind of possessiveness he enjoyed. Other people might have found it a bit weird, following someone’s orders all the time, but it was rather a special thing that came with the bond Louis and Harry had. “Fine,” Harry bit his lip down nervously. “But you have to wear the crown.”

“Deal.”

Louis played with Harry’s locks, still tied up like before, as people filed into their house, greeting them as they passed by. People were smirking and giggling, probably at how ridiculous the two of them looked. Louis’ was actually kind of adorable, whereas Harry’s just looked absolutely horrendous, though Louis was secretly fond of it. Harry was blushing, giving Louis a pleading look, and Louis eventually rolled his eyes and took the rubber band out, proceeding to kiss his boyfriend on the mouth as an apology.

“If it’s any consolation, I thought it was sexy.”

Harry rolled his eyes, then shook his head, waving his tousled hair around trying to shape it back to normal. He threw his head down against Louis’ shoulder and his face lit up when he looked straight ahead. “Lottie’s here.”

“Shit…” Louis muttered, scatting away from the couch and Harry stood up as well.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to hide,” Louis grabbed onto Harry’s arm, his eyes scanning his surroundings. “Quick, to the kitchen!”

Harry chuckled as he followed Louis to the kitchen, proceeding to open the fridge the minute they got there. “Oh, good. Niall hasn’t eaten the cake yet.”

“Cake?” Louis raised an eyebrow, his hand reaching for the handle on the fridge, but Harry pushed it away.

“You’ll see it soon enough.”

Louis stepped back from the fridge, obviously waiting for Harry to pull out the bottles of alcohol. He tossed Louis a bottle of beer, telling him to take it easy, and grabbed a bottle for himself. Little did he know as they headed to the living room that Louis would return for more. They found Niall and Josh in the crowd of people, and danced together soulfully to the music which they laughed at, since the song was an upbeat pop song from a hundred years ago. It wasn’t bad though, it was actually quite enjoyable to dance to.

Niall jumped high in the air and Louis whistled, his eyes widened, impressed by how high the boy was jumping. Josh was clapping and cheering his boyfriend on, and Louis had attempted to jump higher than Niall, but found it impossible to do so, despite the amount of energy he had.

Harry and Louis escaped to the kitchen again a little while later to grab another drink, and they could just barely hear the sound of Harry’s name being called. Harry and Louis followed the source of the sound, and found themselves running upstairs to see Zayn standing in front of the bathroom with his arms crossed, glaring at them, irritated.

“Why is there a broken vase in the shower?”

Louis burst out laughing while Harry tried to conjure up an excuse. “What are you taking a shower during a party?”

“I’m not,” Zayn’s cheeks flushed, making it obvious that a shower was not what he had in mind. Maybe it had something to do with the girl he’d met earlier that day, but Harry didn’t need to know about that. “Just… clean it up, yeah?”

“Why can’t Niall do it?”

“He’s a bit preoccupied.” Zayn cleared his throat, his eyes wavering the room, suddenly realising that the three of them were standing in a bathroom together.

“Fine,” Harry growled, opening the shower curtain to reveal the remains of the lamp, and Zayn left the bathroom, leaving the two boys to clean up the mess. Harry bent over to pick up the remains in the shower and immediately felt a hand on his arse. He jumped, nearly cutting himself with a piece of glass.

“Oh, shit! I’m sorry!” Louis wrapped his arms over Harry, pulling him close, their bodies smashing the wall, and suddenly the alcohol had began to move through their bloodstreams, and Louis looked a thousand times more attractive in that moment, if that was even possible.

“’S’okay.” Harry gulped, the bright blue orbs causing him to melt, and the muscles in his stomach tightened as Louis’ body leaned into his, and finally, their lips connected, pressing against each other aggressively, their incoherence mixed with passion, creating an unknown trail of desires, at least for Harry since he’d never been drunk before.

Harry’s hands found Louis’ waist, his hands tracing over the fabric of his shirt, suddenly desperate to take it off, and Louis allowed him to do so. Their hips collided, their bodies locking together, rocking against each other’s in a rhythmic motion, their bodies fitting perfectly together as if they were made for each other. Louis’ hands were everywhere and Harry could barely mumble a moan when Louis had begun to undo his zipper, allowing his hands to wander where they pleased. Louis smashed their lips together again, their tongues exploring their mouths, Harry’s senses going wild when he felt a hand encircling his cock. And it wasn’t until the realisation hit that the door was open that Harry forced Louis away from him, rushing to zip his jeans back up again.

Louis shared an equal look of disappointment as he pulled his shirt over his head. Then Harry smirked when he realised Louis was wearing his shirt inside out, but he was too amused to say anything, so he kept quiet.

“Let’s go tear it up on dance floor,” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand, his words starting to slur together with a seductive expression on his face. Harry grinned being the most coherent out of the two of them, having only had a couple drinks, whereas Louis had practically had their entire supply.

They left the bathroom to head back downstairs, the lamp in the shower completely forgotten. They had just reached the living room ready to grind like nobody was watching, when they heard the volume of the music decreasing, and an Irish accent filling the room.

“It’s time for cake and presents, so if Louis Tomlinson could make his way over here, that’d be great! Knowing him, he’s probably getting sozzled up and is lying in a corner somewhere on the outskirts of the city, but if anyone could help me get a hold of him, I would really-”

Niall was cut off by Louis grabbing the microphone from his hands, flicking the other boy in the face, probably for the unnecessary rambling that he had done on purpose. “Niall, go get the cake,” he winked at Niall who had rolled his eyes at him, but followed his orders and ran to the kitchen. “That Irish lad, gotta love him.” Louis ran a hand through his hair, and right away he noticed something was missing. “Where’s my crown?”

People were giving him funny looks and Louis was just going to drop it when he saw Josh running towards him, holding none other than his golden crown in his hands. “You dropped it in the bathroom upstairs!”

“Thanks, mate!” He snatched it from Josh and threw it over his head and hollered in a loud voice, “Let’s eat!”

Everyone cheered, and Harry was grinning like an idiot. It wasn’t always that Louis acted like this, so wild and enthusiastic, when was usually more calm, yet just as vibrant as always. But witnessing this was something he’d always cherish.

Niall was in the kitchen, cutting slices of cake for all the guests, people beginning to crowd around him. There was a grand total of about twenty guests and the cake had been fairly large. Harry had been in charge of that and he wanted this to be a night to remember, and doing so he had made sure the cake was big enough.

The cake was half vanilla half chocolate, that way all the guests could have a choice. Harry had made sure to think that part through. Louis grabbed the first slice and skipped to the living room, a smile plastered on his face. Harry followed him shortly, practically sitting himself down on Louis’ lap. He decided to take advantage of the fact that Louis was completely incoherent.

“Feed me,” he tried to sound seductive, and he could tell it was working by the way Louis was bringing the fork towards Harry’s mouth, smirking.

From the distance, they could see Niall practically bouncing off the walls, obviously high off of cake and alcohol, and Josh wasn’t doing anything to stop it, obviously just as amused as the other boys.

“Gonna go wash my hands,” Harry said to Louis, setting his plate down on the coffee table, which had miraculously stayed put after all the dancing that had taken place. His intention was to head to the sink in the kitchen, but his path was blocked. He tried the bathroom downstairs next, and since he hadn’t bothered to knock, he found himself walking in on Zayn snogging a girl. He closed the door right away, pretending that didn’t happen and returned to Louis, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“So how did you know Zayn before?” Harry asked, and almost immediately, Louis’ eyebrows pushed together to form a frown. “I mean – how did you know him before the Hunger Games?”

“Ohh,” Louis said in understanding, bobbling his head back and forth but stopped when he realised he was making himself dizzy. “Remember the, uh, one-night stand?”

“Yeah, what of it?” Harry’s mouth formed the shape of an ‘o’ and now he understood.

Louis nodded, as if he knew Harry knew what he was going to say. “Yeah, it was Zayn.”

Harry was sure it was the alcohol that was making Louis so honest, not to mention blunt. At any other time, Louis would probably ease into the truth, but for once Harry appreciated him being upfront about it. He raised both eyebrows, trying to understand Louis’ barely coherent words. “You slept with Zayn?”

Louis sipped some of his water then spread himself onto the couch. “Yeah,” he finally said.

The awkwardness settled between them, and that wasn’t just because of the open space. “Did you… enjoy it?”

Louis shrugged. “It was as enjoyable one-night stands get, I suppose.” He seemed to notice the hurt expression on Harry’s face. Harry actually wasn’t sure how he felt about this. This was just another event that happened in the past and he surely couldn’t let that get to him, but it was. “Look on the bright side, if it hadn’t happened, I probably wouldn’t have ever questioned my sexuality.” Then he scoffed, his eyes landing on Harry’s, and a grin formed on his lips. “Nope, actually, I’m positive you would’ve done that for me.”

Harry couldn’t hide his smile, flattered by Louis’ words, but he still didn’t know how to react.

“You know none of that matters, right? Zayn and I are best friends now, all of that has been left behind.” He slid his body closer to Harry’s, resting his fingers over the younger boy’s. “I have you now. That’s what matters.”

Harry felt more reassured now, and found himself linking their fingers together and clinging to Louis’ body, who reeked of alcohol and strawberries, which was not too bad of a combination, but perhaps Harry was wasted as well.

“Why don’t we take this upstairs, yeah?” Harry whispered in a low and raspy voice, Louis’ cheeks flushing. Normally Louis was the one to initiate things, and now that Harry had done so, Louis found himself unusually turned on.

They had just stepped foot on the stairs when they heard Niall shout from behind, “There’s plenty of lube in the bathroom, might want to try so-” And then he was cut off by Josh ramming their faces together into a kiss.

Harry and Louis simply laughed, entwining their fingers together, as they hurried up the stairs. Harry sighed blissfully, staring at the older boy’s face in front of him when they reached their bedroom. They moved into each other’s arms, embracing the moment, not wanting it to ever end.

The night was still young, and that was nothing in comparison to spending all of eternity together.


End file.
